


The Doctor's Daughter

by Pharm



Category: Original Work
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-26
Updated: 2015-08-30
Packaged: 2018-04-11 06:12:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 31
Words: 57,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4424474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pharm/pseuds/Pharm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When her father brings a nearly dead Confederate soldier home from the Gettysburg battlefield, Cordelia initially believes he has lost his mind. As Jeremiah becomes her first real patient, she learns more from him than simple medical science.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> And here is what I have decided to post next. I suck at titles. Sorry about that. I hope everyone enjoys it. But first, a couple of things to note. I have done no editing of this story other than correcting typos. It is a very, very rough draft. Also, I've done a lot of Civil War research, but if I have misstated any history, please let me know! This was my NaNoWriMo 2012 novel. FYI. 
> 
> Also, I am sooooo sorry I'm posting this so late in the day!! It's been busy here. When I wasn't working out or resting my body in a hot bath, I was cooking. Seriously, I have done a lot of cooking today. I don't want to cook anything tomorrow. :-)

“Cordelia, please roll some more bandages. I have a feeling we will be needing them.”

“Yes, Father.”

Cordelia Jackson closed the medical text she had been asked to read again to do as her father, Oliver, asked her to do. She went to the medical supply room and started rolling lengths of relatively clean cloth into neat rolls. She looked at the full shelf and wondered why they needed more. In their small city of Gettysburg they rarely had need for a large supply of anything. The most she had seen since her father made her his doctor apprentice were farming injuries. They had been interesting, but they were few and far between. She rationalized that he must have seen something to necessitate an even larger supply of something they rarely used.

“You’re not being neat enough, Delia. You haven’t forgotten how a properly rolled bandage is to use, have you?”

“No, Father. I haven’t forgotten. I only wonder why we need more of something we rarely use? Did we not also receive an order of medications as well?”

“You do remember when the Confederates marched through town?”

A shiver ran down Cordelia’s spine. 

“Yes, I remember it clearly. Why?”

“The Union cavalry is in town and I heard talk that the Confederates aren’t too far away. I just have a feeling that something is going to happen close and soon.”

Cordelia stopped rolling to face Oliver.

“How soon?”

The sound of rifle shots in the distance answered her.

“Sooner than I expected, but we will continue to be prepared.”

Oliver picked up a strip of material and started to form it into the perfect implement for covering an open wound. Cordelia’s hands started shaking. She tried to hide it. If she was ever going to be a doctor something hearing shots in the distance shouldn’t phase her, but her nerves wanted to get the best of her. 

“Might they conscript you to help?”

“They might.”

“Will you?”

“I don’t see that I’ll have any other choice.”

“Won’t that be dangerous for you?”

“You will be cared for if something would happen to me.”

“I don’t care about being cared for if you would be injured or worse. I am too young to lose both of my parents.”

“Delia, nothing has happened other than shots in the distance. Don’t plan my funeral until such time that it becomes necessary, please.”

“You’re bad feelings usually mean something. I don’t like them.”

Oliver stopped Cordelia in the middle of rolling material to take her hands in his. He wiped a tear that had escaped and started rolling down her cheek.

“I only mean that something was going to happen here, in Gettysburg. I don’t think either of us is in any danger yet. The army, generally, doesn’t treat their doctors badly. Even if I would be pressed into helping, I don’t have the experience to treat battle wounds. I will be safe.”

“Promise?”

“I promise. Now, let’s stop the tears and concentrate on the task at hand so you can return to your studies. Battle or not, you will have a quiz tomorrow. Understand?”

“Yes, Father.”

“Good.”

She was ready for the quiz, but she did not feel ready for a battle or anything that might take her father from her whether it might be for a few days or forever. Neither one was acceptable.

 

Guarding the luggage. Jeremiah Tate kicked a stone out of the path he had been assigned to walk to keep a weary eye out for anything out of the ordinary. He was wearing foot coverings that had once been boots. That was out of the ordinary for him. He hadn’t lived a pampered life before signing up to give his life for the cause, but shoes that protected his feet had always been available. Some of the men had gotten new boots, but his were still in a wearable state it had been determined. They were wearable, but they weren’t sufficient to do their job anymore.

“Ouch!”

Jeremiah flinched. He hadn’t paid attention to where he kicked the rock.

“Sorry, Richard. This is just frustrating.”

“Father didn’t raise us to shirk our duties.”

Jeremiah felt his ears burning.

“I’m not shirking anything. We are supposed to be guarding the luggage. That is what I am doing.”

“If I had been a Yankee spy, I could have slit your throat before you knew you were dying. That won’t help us at all.”

“I will be more attentive.”

“You do that.”

Jeremiah felt the growl of frustration growing in his throat, but he managed to swallow it down and keep it from causing him more trouble. It turned into a sigh as he started back on the path he had walked so many times that he could see the path he was making in the foliage. 

Fighting with the 11th Mississippi had let him participate in beating the Yankees on more than one occasion. He had grown accustomed to the fighting. Being idle was not how he wanted to spend his time even if what they were doing was considered important. He wanted to be a part of the glorious Yankee defeating battle on their soil, to be the aggressor instead of the defender. He wanted to be doing anything else. Wearing down the thin sole on his sad excuse for shoes would not lead to battlefield glory.


	2. Chapter 2

The sounds of a battle raging fast became unmistakable. The manual work was done leaving Cordelia nothing to do but try to study. She tried to focus on the text in front of her, but after reading the same paragraph for the tenth time, she decided to get up and walk around a bit. The front window drew her attention.

“Cordelia! You shouldn’t be in here. Come to the back of the house. It’s safer there.”

“Father, will anything really stop a stray bullet?”

“Yes. Plenty of barriers between you and where it started from to slow it down. At least go to the kitchen. Mrs. Taylor should be here soon.”

“Yes, Father.”

Although she didn’t mind spending most of her time with her father trying to instill all the medical principles she’d need to practice medicine, she did enjoy watching Mrs. Taylor work her magic in turning a variety of foods into mouth watering creations. If anything could keep her mind off the noise and focused, Mrs. Taylor could.  


The back door whipped open and Louisa Taylor rushed into the room.

“I do not know what is going on out there, but it sure has the whole town in quite a stir.”

“Mrs. Taylor, right on time. I think Cordelia could use a little distraction.”

Louisa nodded her understanding.

“Yes, Dr. Jackson. I imagine she could use a little of that. Come with me Cordelia. I need someone to peel these carrots and potatoes. We are having a veritable feast tonight.”

Cordelia couldn’t understand why she could suture a simple gash in the skin, but hand her any kitchen utensil and she lost all coordination. Mrs. Taylor was being patient with her ability to peel half the carrot or potato into the rubbish pile, but she hated her own shortcomings no matter where it fell. 

“You remember how to hold the peeler?”

“I remember, Mrs. Taylor, but applying it to the vegetable is quite another matter.”

“You have to stop expecting perfection in everything you try to do, child. Save that for your work with your father. With me in the kitchen, things don’t have to be perfect when preparing food, other than to make sure everything is cooked correctly, but we’ll get to that in time. For now, concentrate on the task at hand and don’t get upset if everything isn’t exactly how you would do it. You only have to please me.”

“Hand me a carrot. I’m going to give it my best try.”

“That’s my girl.”

Deep breath in and gently apply the peeler to the carrot. Single stroke and peel off a single layer of the skin. Cordelia nearly giggled herself silly when she did it. Move it over a bit and repeat process. After a minute of concentrating on it, she managed to peel all the skin from the carrot without wasting a bit of it. Mrs. Taylor grabbed it from her hands, deftly cut both ends off it before cutting it into sticks and throwing it into the mess of ingredients in the pan in front of her.

“Very good. Try it again.”

Repeating the process and keeping her mind off the noise reverberating through town, she finally managed to peel the carrots and potatoes Louisa had set in front of her to be peeled and turned into dinner. Oliver had stoked the fire in the stove in preparation for Louisa’s arrival. Once the pan was into the oven, Cordelia had nothing else to concentrate on the sounds of the battle assaulted her ears.

“Knitting today, Cordelia.”

“Yes, Mrs. Taylor.”

Cordelia dutifully followed Louisa to the rocking chair in the corner of the kitchen. She pulled her chair next to it while Louisa retrieved the knitting basket from its usual resting place.

“Why are we making stocking caps in the middle of July? This makes no sense to me.”

“Once we make them, they have to be sent to Washington to be distributed to the troops. They want to gather as many as they can so they can get to where they’re needed when they’re needed. How long does it take us to make one cap each?”

“You can knit one in four evenings while it takes me a week to knit one.”

“Right. You’re getting faster, but knitting isn’t about speed, child. It’s more important for it to be well constructed rather than finished quickly. Quickly can mean too many mistakes and it won’t serve the purpose it was intended to serve. Now. Over the course of the summer, how many hats does that mean you can complete?”

Cordelia did the rough math in her head.

“Well, four a month and considering four months of knitting, that’s sixteen hats.”

“And how many can I complete in those same four months?”

Cordelia sighed. The math to figure Mrs. Taylor’s hat number was harder to do in her head. She could do it, but it took a little bit of effort. Enough effort, that her hands stopped their work for long enough that Mrs. Taylor noticed.

“Well?”

“If we average thirty days in a month, you can make seven and a fraction in a month. That leads us to about twenty-nine hats.”

“And how many cold soldier’s heads will we help cover this winter?”

“Forty-five heads total. That is hardly enough to make a difference with the thousands of men fighting.”

“No, but it is forty-five young men who will be very grateful to have warm heads. Now, that is only the two of us working. We are two of many.”

“So, what you’re saying is that although what we are doing may seem small, it is actually a very big when you consider how many others are doing as we are to help in whatever way they can?”

“Exactly, Cordelia. Every day you amaze me with your knowledge of everything you’ve ever been taught. People thought your father was crazy to take you on as an apprentice, especially when you were only fourteen, but I think you will be a much sought after doctor once you’ve completed your apprenticeship with your father.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Taylor.” Cordelia’s needles started clicking again. She couldn’t keep the same pace as Mrs. Taylor’s needle clicks, but she sure tried whenever they knitted together. “Are there still people who think Father is crazy to try to turn me into a doctor?”

Mrs. Taylor’s needles faltered bringing unintelligible cursing from her lips.

“Cordelia, sweetheart, you are going to find in life that there are those will not approve of anything you do. There’s not anything you can do to change their mind. You’re better off ignoring them and doing what you feel is right in your heart.”

“That many people think he’s wrong?”

Mrs. Taylor chuckled.

“You are too observant, child.”

“Is that why I’ve never had many friends to play with? Do other parents think that he’s going to infect their daughters’ way of thinking about their roles in life?”

“Delia, a lot of that goes back to your dear, sweet mother and the choices she made in life. She married your father for love instead of the stability another suitor offered her. His family and all their friends never forgave her. Her sins have fallen on you, child.”

The clicking of her needles stopped as Cordelia processed everything Mrs. Taylor had just dumped on her. Suddenly everything that had ever happened to her whenever she tried to make friends with any other girl in town made complete sense to her.

“Why does Father stay if so many people hate us?”

“He stays because the people need here need him. They don’t hate you, child. Jealousy has eaten away their common sense, that’s all. You don’t worry yourself about them. You are meant for greater things.”

“How do you know that?”

“There has to be a reason when a mother leaves this world bringing a new life into it.”

Unsure as she always was whenever someone mentioned her mother’s passing, Cordelia turned her attention to something else. Her needles starting their rhythmic clicking. Soon Mrs. Taylor’s needles joined hers.

Cordelia lost track of how long they sat in silence. Well, relative silence with the sounds of shots and cannon fire in the distance. Suddenly it sounded like it was getting closer and closer. She knew she wasn’t imagining things when her father came into the kitchen at a run and looking disheveled.

“Mrs. Taylor, gather up some supplies, food, water, candles and whatever else you’ll need to keep yourselves occupied for a while and head to the cellar.”

“Father? Why? What’s going on?”

“Cordelia, we should do as he says.”

“No. Father?”

He turned back to her and she could see the fear in his eyes.

“The Union army is retreating through town. We’re being abandoned to the Confederates.”

“No.”

Cordelia’s whispered word echoed through the kitchen.

“Hurry. Mrs. Taylor, you know where all my important papers are kept. Make sure Cordelia becomes the young woman she is meant to be.”

“Father, what are you going to do?”

“Get ready to have my medical stores raided and put to work doing something. Now, hurry. There isn’t much time.”

Mrs. Taylor started gathering kitchen items into a basket. Cordelia grabbed a basket and left to make a hurried collection of some items she knew would be needed to be saved. To hide what she had done, she threw a couple of pillows and quilts into the basket. When she returned to the kitchen, her father took the basket from her.

“Careful. There are breakable items in that basket.”

“Like what, Cordelia?”

“I think I should be allowed to save a picture of my parents.”

His face softened.

“Yes, you are allowed that. Now, fill as many of the pitchers we have as possible.”

“Yes, Father.”

Cordelia scrambled to gather as many things that would hold water and fill them. She knew water was one thing they couldn’t live without. As she filled things, she handed them to her father who passed them down the stairs to Mrs. Taylor’s waiting hands. As soon as she filled the last thing she could fill with water, she took a long look at her surroundings, unsure if she would see them in one piece again.

“Cordelia.”

“Father.”

Cordelia threw herself into his arms and tried to hold the tears back. She couldn’t fight it. The tears won out and spilled down her cheeks.

“Make sure the door is locked from inside and do not open it unless it is my voice saying your mother’s name or the quiet lasts for a full day and a full night.”

“Yes, Father.”

“Listen to Mrs. Taylor. She knows how to survive in this world without a man by her side. Marry only for love, Cordelia. Never forget that.”

“Yes, Father. I love you.”

“I love you too. Now go before it’s too late for me to conceal your hiding place.”

Cordelia nodded her understanding and held her father’s gaze until the door to the cellar completely closed between them. She managed to clicked the lock into place before collapsing into Mrs. Taylor’s waiting arms in tears.

“It’s going to be okay, sugar.”

“How to do you know?”

“Doctors are valuable. They won’t hurt him. He’ll be safe as long as he does as they ask.”

Cordelia could only sniff in response. She wasn’t so sure about that, but she knew better than to argue with Mrs. Taylor.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here's the next chapter! Enjoy!!
> 
> If anyone sees anything inconsistent, please tell me so I can fix it!! Thanks!!! :-)

The evening of July first passed in relative quiet. Cordelia couldn’t say the same of July second. The sounds of battle started in what she supposed was very late in the afternoon for such things to start, but she wasn’t a general. Since Mrs. Taylor seemed to know more about things than she led one to believe, Cordelia wanted to ask her, but she held her tongue. So they spent most of the second knitting by candle light to keep their hands and mind occupied with something besides wondering what really was going on in their town.

July third also started out relatively quiet. After she and Mrs. Taylor enjoyed a small lunch and were attempting to nap while it was still quiet cannon fire reverberated through everything. Cordelia had never heard such a racket. It seemed like it went on forever to her. 

“I swear I shall end up with a three day headache before this is all over.”

“Laudanum, Mrs. Taylor?”

Cordelia pulled the bottle from the basket she had hidden it in.

“Delia, where did you get that?”

“Well, when Father said that they’d probably raid his medical supplies, I decided to bring some down here to be saved for use by the people of this town as they were intended.”

“You didn’t take it all, did you, child?”

“No, ma’am. At most I took half of Father’s supply of everything. I needed the bandages to protect the bottles from being jostled. Was I wrong?”

“Laws no, child. The people of this town should be thankful for your quick thinking if any of them end up injured before your father can restock his supply. You are a surprise sometimes.”

“Is that good or bad, Mrs. Taylor?”

“It depends. I think it is very good, but there are those who wouldn’t like that you don’t act as they would expect you to act.”

“How would they expect me to act?”

“Quiet, demure and like you don’t have a solid head on your shoulders. Some might get what they want through manipulation, but you will never have to lower yourself like that. You will get what you want simply because you want it and will know how to get it.”

“I hope you’re right.”

“I know I am, child. Now, please hand me that laudanum before the pounding in my head gets louder than the pounding of the cannon.”

“I hope this is over soon. I might forget what it feels like to stand in the warmth of the sun or how divine it feels to sleep in a real bed.”

Mrs. Taylor chuckled a took a nip from the bottle Cordelia handed to her.

“This is more comfortable than those boys fighting get every night.”

“I’m a terrible person.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Here I am upset over a couple of days and nights of being uncomfortable when there are men losing their lives having slept their last night on this earth on the cold ground.”

“And that, child, is why we knit.”

As suddenly as the cannon fire started, it stopped. There was a few minutes of quiet before cannon fire answered, but it didn’t sound like as many were being fired as there had been with the first volley.

“Which do you think belongs to the Union? The pounding we heard earlier or the weak answer?”

“I don’t know. Just say a prayer for every man on that field. War is a terrible business.”

“If it’s so terrible, why have a war? Why couldn’t people just sit down and talk rationally about their feelings and not resort to killing each other savagely?”

“Because to some people compromise is equated with weakness. They want things their way and it does not matter if that makes a hardship on someone else. They want what they want and they refuse to listen to anyone else’s opinions. When all communication between people wanting different things breaks down, you get just what we have here, child.”

“That’s sad, Mrs. Taylor. Men have to give their lives because other men couldn’t find a solution to a problem.”

“No, child. This war has been brewing for a long time. It’s just been postponed by the many compromises that never really addressed the problem. The war won’t go on forever. Hopefully the Union army will drive the Confederates back south so life can return to some semblance of normal here.”

“I doubt life will ever return to normal here.”

“Laws, you’re probably right, Delia. War changes everyone and everything it touches. With a battle taking place so close to home, it will probably change Gettysburg forever.”

Knit two. Perl two. Repeat. She had been following that pattern since she started knitting hats with Mrs. Taylor. Thinking that over and over usually kept her attention focused. After the weak response, it grew relatively quiet again. She could feel her focus wavering as she worried about her father. She hoped that after confiscating his supply of medicines and bandages he was left alone. Since he hadn’t come to tell them to come out of the cellar, she knew that was too big a hope on her part. She just wanted him alive and uninjured when it was all over.

“What’s going through your head now, Delia?”

“I’m worried about Father.”

“He’ll be fine.”

“How do you know that?”

“Because anything else is unthinkable. Now, get back to your knitting unless you’re tired.”

“I tried to take a nap before the cannon started. I think that’s a lost cause.”

“Then just knit and pray, child. Just knit and pray.”

Deciding that there wasn’t anything else to do, Cordelia did that very thing.

 

When he received word that the 11th Mississippi was finally going to see battle after a successful Confederate foray on July first and trying to take tactical positions from the Union on July second, Jeremiah almost couldn’t contain his excitement. Fighting the Yankees on their own soil and winning would mean a very positive advancement of the cause. Marching in formation to join the charge gave him an extra lift in his step. He felt so honored to be a part of something so momentous. Having his brother marching with him made it all the more special. 

After the bombardment and return fire, his confidence was high. The Yankee’s response was nothing compared to what they received. He marched forward to meet the foe on the battlefield and was surprised when the rest of the Yankee cannon started firing. As soon as that seemed it was dying down, the men lined up to defend their position on Cemetery Ridge and elsewhere opened fire. It was never ending. 

When a man fell, others rushed forward to fill his space. The closer they marched to the enemy’s line, the more men fell. Jeremiah tried to ignore what was going on around him and focus on where he was marching and keeping their line as intimidating as possible. It had scared the Yankees before and made them break their line and run. This group was different. It didn’t break and run. 

The man on his left fell. Richard filled his space. Richard’s presence gave Jeremiah strength. His brother wouldn’t lead him wrong. And then the unthinkable happened; Richard fell. Jeremiah wanted to look to see if Richard was just injured or if he was gone. He spared a look down and immediately wished he hadn’t. Richard wasn’t just injured. 

Before his grief over his brother’s loss could touch him, he felt a sting on his left arm and then another on his right. He did his best to keep his grip on his rifle. It took everything he had in him to do it, but he did it. Soon a sting on his left leg and then another on his left just before three stings on his right leg took him out of the line of battle. He fell. He waited until there was a clearing in the men marching and tried to crawl back to where he had left from what felt like only a moment before. 

He didn’t get far before another group of men marching towards the Yankee’s line came on him. One man fell, pining his legs down. With his injuries he just didn’t have the leg strength to kick him off his legs. It wasn’t long before another fell on his legs and then across his body until he was completely covered by dead and dying men.

The sounds of battle raged around him, but all Jeremiah could think about was getting out from under where he was so he could be found while he was still alive. The more he struggled the colder his hands and feet felt. It didn’t take much longer before his world went completely black and he was, mercifully, out of pain.


	4. Chapter 4

“Cordelia? Mrs. Taylor? It’s me. Please open the door. The Confederates left town like the devil was after them.”

“I can’t open the door, Father.”

“Why not, Delia?”

“You haven’t said the magic word you told us you’d say.”

Oliver chuckled. Cordelia imagined he was also shaking his head at her insistence that she have the password.

“Dahlia.”

As soon as she heard her mother’s name, Cordelia unlocked the door. She expected it to still be slightly light outside. It might have been light outside, but inside it was dark.

“Why do you have the kitchen so dark, Dr. Jackson? Don’t want us to see what happened to our neighbor’s homes?”

“No, Mrs. Taylor. I knew that your eyes would need a little time to adjust to light. I don’t want anyone with headaches when we’re needed.”

“Doesn’t the army have people to help tend the wounded?”

“That they do. We aren’t needed for that. Mrs. Taylor, if you could get a large pot of soup or two on the stove, please.”

“Yes, Dr. Jackson.”

“Father, what exactly are we needed to do?”

“Help feed people right now. Some of the walking injured I’ve agreed to see since my knowledge of amputations is not what a military surgeon’s knowledge is. I would like for you to observe.”

“Yes, Father.”

“I just wish the Confederates hadn’t taken all my medications. Some of these men could use a light dose of pain killer.”

“Oh! Just a moment, Father. I’ll be right back.”

Cordelia returned to the cellar she had just come out of after two days and came back upstairs with one of the baskets.

“We can get everything out of there once we’ve seen to these patients. There are more important things that putting a few items back where they go.”

“You don’t understand, Father. I have a supply of pain medications in this basket.”

“How?”

“Because Cordelia is your daughter, Dr. Jackson. She’s smart than most and knows how to follow through on a good idea.”

“I took about half of your stock into the cellar with me so there would be something left when the battle was over. I was hoping that we wouldn’t be using it on Confederates.”

“They’re just men who are defending what they believe in, Delia. I wasn’t treated badly. Everyone I dealt with was very polite, even the injured men I agreed to help triage from the battlefield.”

“Regardless, I wanted to make sure there was pain medications for when everything was over. Mrs. Taylor used some laudanum because the cannon gave her a headache, but other than that, it should all be here.”

Oliver shook his head as they walked towards the office where he saw patients in their home.

“I thought I was a little short on what I thought I should have when they came and asked for it all. Thank you, Cordelia. This is very nice to have. The surgeon I talked to said they didn’t have any to spare me. Now I don’t have to worry about that. I should offer him some of the chloroform. Later. I’ll offer it to him later.”

Cordelia stopped dead in her tracks as they entered the waiting room. It wasn’t a big room, but every chair had a soldier slumped in it. Bodies of weary soldiers covered every inch of open space on the floor. She hoped that those with their eyes closed were only sleeping. After three days of battle, it wasn’t an unreasonable hope.

As soon as they noticed a woman in the room, those soldiers who could, straightened up or stood up and tipped their hats. Unsure how to respond, Cordelia gave them a smile and curtsey before hurrying after her father.

“How will they feel with me observing their treatment? Won’t some of them resent it?”

“They can either accept that you are training to be my apprentice and let me treat them or they can wait until the surgeon has time to see them. I think others will soon arrive in town to help with the aftermath of the battle, but it would still mean a wait for anyone who won’t allow me to treat him simply because you are learning from me.”

“Are you sure you wouldn’t rather me help Mrs. Taylor?”

“Cordelia, this is a great learning opportunity for you. I would prefer you be here.”

“Fine, Father. I just don’t want someone to suffer because of me.”

“Anyone who would allow himself to suffer because of your presence is an idiot. I’ll get the first patient and we can get started.”

Cordelia took a deep breath and tried to muster a smile. She just couldn’t do it.

“Cordelia? Are you feeling well?”

“I’m fine.”

“If you say you are, I’ll not ask again. Here we go.”

Dr. Jackson briefly left the room and came in with a soldier who didn’t look like he was injured much at all. He looked that way until he removed his jacket with help. He had to have put on a fresh jacket. Cordelia observed a relatively superficial wound where the shoulder and neck meet. It was bleeding, but it wasn’t gushing. As her father examined it, she noticed he held his head at an awkward angle.

“Well, The bullet is not in the wound, so we are looking at the only damage it did. It missed major veins, which is why you are still with us. Cordelia, the morphine please.”

As Cordelia handed him what he requested, the soldier’s eyes lit up.

“You have morphine? I was told not to expect any.”

“Thanks to my daughter’s quick thinking, I do. Now, a quick shot of morphine and then we can suture this. You’re going to need to not use your left arm for a while, but I think you’ll be fine. Cordelia, needle and thread please.”

“Yes, Father.”

She expertly threaded the needle first try and handed it to him.

“I do hope the morphine has had time to make this as painless as I possible can make it.”

“I’m feeling a little giddy, doctor. I think you’re safe. Even if I wasn’t feeling giddy, I just appreciate being seen for such a small wound.”

“Anything we can do to help until others arrive we will do.”

Cordelia watched her father sew up the ragged wound as easily as a seamstress would repair a hem, a feat she was in awe of in him. He had allowed her to attempt some simple sutures, but she could never get the angle of the needle right and usually made a wound worse before finally managing to make it better. It wasn’t long at all before he was putting the final knots into it the keep it in place.

“How are you feeling now, soldier?”

“Are you done already?”

“Yes, I am. I take it the morphine is doing its job.”

“Yes, sir. It is.”

“Good. Cordelia, will you take him to the kitchen to have some soup and biscuits, if my nose is smelling right, while I write up a short case history for him to take with him for the doctor who will take care of him down the road?”

“Yes, Father. If you’ll come with me, please, sir.”

“Thank you, doctor. Maybe now I’ll be able to return to work on my parents’ farm.”

“You’re welcome. Now, go get some food into you. Hopefully after that a place can be found for you to get some sleep.”

The soldier gave her father a small nod before getting off the examination table and following Cordelia through the house to the kitchen where Mrs. Taylor was stirring a kettle of soup that was giving off a mouthwatering aroma.

“Ma’am, that smells absolutely divine.”

“Of course it does. Louisa Taylor doesn’t make anything that isn’t divine.”

The soldier stared at her, wide eyed until she winked at him. He visibly relaxed and sat down on the chair Cordelia used when she knitted with Mrs. Taylor. Mrs. Taylor ladled some of the soup into a bowl, set a biscuit on the side of the bowl and handed it to Cordelia who handed it to the soldier. As soon as a spoon was placed in his hands, he dug in like it had been a while since he’d had real food. After a few bites, he slowed down a bit.

“Thank you, ma’am. We don’t get fed this well during battles or on marching days.”

“You just eat up and let me know if you need more. Cordelia, you should return to your father.”

“Yes, Mrs. Taylor.”

She returned to the examination room about the same time her father was bringing the next patient in. It didn’t take long at all until they fell into a routine of treating patients, getting them fed while her father wrote up a history of what he observed and how he treated for those who would take care of them afterwards. It wasn’t until well after midnight that Cordelia and her father were handed their own bowls of food. 

Cordelia was so tired that she wasn’t tasting what she was spooning into her mouth. As long as it stopped her stomach from rumbling, she didn’t care.

“I think Delia is plum worn out, Dr. Jackson. You shouldn’t have kept her up working so late.”

“But I got to see so much that I wouldn’t normally get to see, Mrs. Taylor. I’m not so very tired right now.”

“Child, you cannot keep your eyes open. I think it is time for you to go to bed.”

“No, I’m really not that-“ but her protest was interrupted by the biggest yawn.

“Bed. Now.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

She tried to get herself out of her chair and found her legs were protesting being used. A low growl escaped her throat as she mustered all her strength to stand up.

“Good night.”

She took one step and fell into a heap on the floor where she fell into blackness.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in one day? Yeah, I really like you guys!! :-D

Over the next few days several of the soldiers her father treated would come by his office to have their stitches checked or just to say hello and enjoy a warm meal. Cordelia observed every interaction and was even allowed to do some exams while her father observed.

Within a week, the visits from the soldiers had dwindled down enough that Mrs. Taylor stopped making such a large pot of soup every day. The supply of biscuits and breads slowed as well. Cordelia didn’t mind. During the high heat of summer soup wasn’t exactly appetizing, but it had kept her and her father going from dawn until midnight for the better part of the week. 

Members of the Sanitary Commission appeared in droves once word of the outcome of the battle reached Washington leaving them with little to do with the less mortally wounded soldiers. Cordelia didn’t complain when she returned to her routine of knitting with Mrs. Taylor in the evenings. The blood and gore didn’t bother her. The look of being completely beaten down on the faces of the soldiers had started to get to her. It was depressing, to say the least. 

“They’ve put out the call for help in getting bodies buried on the battlefield. I’ve volunteered to help.”

“What about the people in town? Who will take care of their emergencies?”

“You’ll still be here and Mrs. Taylor can supervise.”

“Do you really think I can take care of patients, Father?”

“I think you’ll do fine. If you have any questions, there are plenty of medical personnel arrived from Washington. I know their concern is focused on the soldiers, but I doubt they’d turn away someone injured that you feel you don’t have the knowledge to treat.”

“I’m speechless, Father. I’m glad you have such faith in me. I only wish I had the same faith.”

“Consult the texts if you get stuck. Now, I need to get changed into something more appropriate to do hard labor in.”

He kissed Cordelia on the top of her head and left to get changed and meet the group of men from town who volunteered to bury the dead.

“How will all those soldiers’ families know they didn’t survive the battle?”

“I don’t know, child. Somehow their loved ones will find out, if they don’t already know it in their hearts to be true.”

“How can they know it in their hearts?”

“I knew my Harold had died before anyone ever came to inform me. When you love someone that much, their leaving this earth leaves a hole in your heart that can never be filled with anyone else.”

“Do you think you will ever remarry then?”

Mrs. Taylor started laughing, a sound that was strange, despite her having a beautiful laugh.

“Child, I am sixty-two years old. I don’t think there is a man on this planet who would take me on again. I’m too strong willed and set in my ways. I haven’t changed a thing since Harold died, but I like things done my way. That’s why I work for your father. He was fine with how I wanted to whatever I wanted to do. He didn’t have a set way he wanted anything done. He wanted you raised up right and he wants his house clean. If I can say so without sounding like I’m bragging, I think I’ve done a good job on both those fronts, despite hiring and firing more nannies than anyone has any business hiring and firing.”

“Why did you hire and fire so many? It was always strange having my nanny be someone else so often.”

“Delia, so many of your nannies had designs on making your father their husband. Once they informed me that the first thing they’d do is fire me once they were his wife, I fired them. They quickly learned that protesting to Dr. Jackson didn’t do them a bit of good. People in this town hated me for not letting their daughters sink their claws into your father, but I didn’t take any of it to heart.”

“So, people hate us because my mother chose my father over someone she didn’t love, but they hated you because you wouldn’t let their daughters try to seduce my father?”

“Yes. People don’t know what they really want from one minute to the next. That’s what happens when someone who appears to have and be nothing turns himself into something.”

“With my mother’s help?”

“No, child. Your father made himself into what he is today all on his own. Your mother supported him every step of the way, but he did it by himself.”

“People are strange sometime, Mrs. Taylor.”

“That they are, child. That they are.”

Morning turned to afternoon which became evening in the blink of an eye. Cordelia couldn’t believe that not being busy seeing wounded patients could go so quickly. After they enjoyed dinner, she began to worry when her father hadn’t returned from his job volunteering.

“When do we go see what’s keeping him? I don’t like him being out after dark. What if the Confederates sneak back into town and he is shot?”

“The Rebels are miles and miles from here. With the number of soldiers and whatnot from Washington he have here, they’d have to be half crazy to come back. He’s probably bone tired and taking his time coming home. I just hope they fed him decent today. The town can’t afford to have him sick from all this hard work he isn’t used to doing.”

Cordelia opened her mouth to answer when the front door opened and closed. She looked at Mrs. Taylor who motioned her to go see who it was. Cordelia threw her knitting into the basket and ran to the waiting room with Mrs. Taylor on her heels.

“Father?”

Cordelia stood with her mouth hanging open. She didn’t know how he had done it, but he had carried what looked like a dead body into their house. She helplessly followed him to the exam room where he laid the young man down on the examination table.

“Father? Please tell me you haven’t taken a dead body from the battlefield to teach me hands on anatomy.”

“Cordelia, as tempting as that is, no, I wouldn’t stoop to that low a mark. No. He’s alive. Barely, but he is alive.”

“He doesn’t look alive. Are you sure he didn’t just make a noise when air left his lungs?”

“No, Cordelia. Check for a pulse.”

Cordelia gingerly placed her fingers at the base of neck as her father had showed her to do. She was surprised when she felt a slight movement.

“I feel a pulse, but it’s not strong enough to warrant heroic efforts to save him, Father. Why did you not turn him over to the army?”

For the first time she noticed that he wore the grey she had seen when they Army of Northern Virginia marched through Gettysburg at the end of June. She didn’t relish the idea of using any energy trying to save an enemy, even when he was as handsome as the young man dying before her eyes.

“That’s the beauty of this. He is your first patient. Yours and yours alone. I will consult if you want to, but all the decisions are yours. If he doesn’t survive, well, no harm done. He’s basically dead without any help from you.”

Her father stepped back and left her standing next to the soldier looking him up and down. She sighed and her shoulders slumped forward.

“I can’t let him die without trying. Can you help me get him stripped down to just his underclothes so I can see what we’re dealing it here?”

“Gladly.”

She started pulling his arms out the sleeves of his jacket while her father pulled his boots, or what was left of his boots, off his feet to get started removing his pants.

“Where was he, Father? Shouldn’t someone have found him before now?”

“He was under several dead bodies. To me it looks like he was hit and went down. While trying to crawl back for help, several men were shot and died instantly and fell on top of him. He was trapped and couldn’t move.”

“How did he survive the downpours after the battle? Being trapped, didn’t he run the risk of drowning by water rushing across the fields?”

“I don’t know how he survived. It is a miracle he was found.”

“Mmmmm.”

Cordelia couldn’t help noticed how well defined his chest and arms were as she bared them to her doctor’s eyes. She could feel the heat rising in her cheeks as her mind wondered if he had a sweetheart back home and what it might feel like to be embraced by those arms. Yes, he did look a little malnourished, but she hadn’t seen a soldier that didn’t look like he was a couple of missed meals from death.

“Do you think the rain might have actually helped him by giving him some water to drink?”

“That’s possible. I can’t imagine that anyone would survive the heat without some source of water.”

Once he was down to bare skin she could see exactly what had happened to him.

“I’m counting nine wounds.”

“That looks right to me.”

“And none of them are in any area that would have hit a major blood vessel.”

“I agree with that assessment as well. What are you planning to do with him?”

She looked at him laying on the table breathing so shallowly that she thought he had passed before she had a chance to help or attempt to help him, rather.

“I want a bowl of warm water, some soap and a clean cloth.”

“Are you sure, Delia? He could bleed out while you’re cleaning him up.”

“I need to be able to see what I’m sewing. He has so much dried blood and pieces of his uniform stuck in his wounds that I’m sure I couldn’t suture him and do a decent job.”

“I will fetch the water, soap and cloth.”

“Should I give him a dose of morphine before we get started?”

“I think him being unconscious means he won’t feel any pain. Let’s save the morphine until he’s awake and in pain.”

“You’re right, Father. Sorry. I’m not thinking like a doctor, am I?”

“No, you are. Your concern is for him and that’s where it should be. Get out the suturing kit while I get the supplies you requested, Dr. Jackson.”


	6. Chapter 6

Being left alone in the exam room with a very nearly naked Confederate soldier made Cordelia a little uncomfortable. Yes, she was looking at him as a clinical case, mostly, but she couldn’t help just looking at him. Realizing that what she was doing was very wrong, she tore her gaze from his body and decided to focus on his face. He had a strong chin and high cheekbones giving him a look of nobility. His sandy blond hair looked like it could use more than just a simple haircut, but it accented the tanness of his face perfectly. She wished he would open his eyes. She wanted to know what color they were. She hoped they’d be blue. She had never been happy with what she saw as her boring brown eyes and hair. 

Although she knew she shouldn’t, her attention turned back to his body. He legs from mid-shin down hung off the exam table. Having laid on the table herself, she knew that meant he wasn’t a short man by any means. If he hadn’t been a Confederate soldier, she might have been tempted to think about what life might be like with him after he was better, but she knew that if she managed to save his life, he should be sent to a prisoner of war camp with the other Confederate prisoners.  


When the door to the exam room opened, she jumped away from him like she had done something wrong. She turned to face her father and hoped she didn’t look as guilty as she felt.

“How is your patient doing?”

“He seems to still be alive. His breathing is very shallow. I’m afraid he isn’t going to survive the night. I still don’t know how he managed to survive this long.”

“That he survived this long is a testament to how strong he is. If we can get him sewn up and keep him from dying, it won’t happen without his help.”

She sighed.

“Keep the fresh water and clean cloths coming.”

Her father nodded his understanding. Cordelia dipped the cloth in the warm water and applied some soap to it before she started scrubbing his wounds. After she made the first one start bleeding again, she stepped back on her scrubbing. She knew she wanted to get the dirt and grime off, but that the scabs his body had built up over his injuries needed to stay there. One arm was clean from finger tip to shoulder. She placed the cloth in the water.

“Fresh water now, please, Father.”

“I’ll let Mrs. Taylor know to keep some boiling, but I don’t understand what you’re trying to do.”

“I like things clean.”

He smiled at her before patting her arm lightly and leaving the exam room again. Cordelia returned to her examination that she tried to convince herself was purely clinical by taking a closer look at the freshly cleaned wounds. From what she could see they were fairly superficial. So, his right arm wasn’t probably what made him fall. Perhaps his left arm would hold the answer. When her father returned with fresh water and a clean cloth, she started on his other arm, using what she had learned about how hard to scrub to keep him from bleeding again. What blood he hadn’t lost would be needed to heal.

Once he was clean from fingertip to shoulder on the right arm, she looked at the wounds before her father left to retrieve fresh water.

“None of these wounds are deep. I don’t understand what kept him on the battlefield.”

“Perhaps the answer lies in the wounds on his legs. If they were deeper, he might not have been able to walk or even crawl very fast to escape what befell him with bodies falling on top of him.”

“Hopefully because this is baffling to me.”

It wasn’t until she finally started cleaning his right leg that she found the wound she had been expecting to find. The bullet hadn’t hit bone, but it did leave a rather large wound on his calf muscle. She just stared at it, wanting to clean it out well, but finding herself thinking she definitely didn’t want to make it bleed again. Her father came to stand behind her and let out a low whistle.

“I think you might have found what made him fall and have to try to crawl to safety.”

“Do you think I need to probe to make sure the bullet isn’t still in the wound?”

“I think it’s a pretty safe bet that it just passed through the muscle and left the body. If you’re worried, probe it with your finger.”

For the first time Cordelia visibly blanched.

“I think I’m going with your assessment that it probably isn’t still there. Can you hand me the suturing kit, please, Father?”

“Of course.”

He took the bloody cloth from her and returned it to the bowl of bloody water before picking up the suturing supplies on the tray Cordelia had so nicely laid out for her use. He carried them to her and held the tray at a level she could reach as she needed things from the tray while she worked. 

Not knowing where else to start, Cordelia decided that the major wound should closed first. She quickly threaded a brand new needle and started sewing. For the first time in her life she managed to find the right angle to make the suturing go smoothly. In no time she had the biggest hole that wasn’t supposed to be in the soldier’s body sewn closed. She sighed in relief when it didn’t start bleeding.

She lost track of how long she worked to close all the wounds that looked too gaping while her father patiently held the tray and his tongue. She expected him to at least say something to her as she worked, but he let her do what she felt best. He really was letting her decide the course of treatment after arguing about why she needed to clean his wounds before suturing. Once she was done with the last one, she laid all the supplies on the tray and slumped into the chair her father usually sat in to talk with his patients.

Oliver walked around the soldier nodding his approval.

“I think you did a marvelous job, Cordelia. I know you’ve have problems with sutures in the past, but I think you might have worked through that.”

“Either that or I’m just bettering sewing on patients I know can’t feel what I’m doing to them. I think we should get the rest of him cleaned up. If nothing else, getting all the grime off him should make him a little more comfortable.”

“I agree, now. I’ll get more water and I think you should let me finish cleaning him up. I don’t think it’s appropriate for a young lady to be cleaning some of his body parts, even if she is a doctor.”

“Yes, Father. Where will we move him to recover?”

“Well, since he is your patient, I was thinking the small bedroom next to yours. I know it was more of a playroom when you were younger, but there is a bed in there.”

“That’s upstairs. Can you carry him up there? You’ve been working hard all day and we have managed again to stay up until midnight.”

“If I can do it now, I’ll be fine. I will probably need your help. I’ll carry him under his arms if you can manage to get his feet.”

“I’ll do it.” Cordelia stood up and had to steady herself. “I can do it because I have to go upstairs anyway.”

Oliver nodded and wrapped his arms around the soldier’s back and under his armpits. Cordelia grabbed him around his ankles.

“Ready?”

“As I’ll ever be, Father.”

“If he gets too heavy, you let me know.”

Cordelia nodded and concentrated on trying to remember where everything was placed between the exam room and the base of the stairs. She managed to get to the stairs with only tipping one table over. Thankfully it only had a couple of books on it as opposed to a vase.

“Perhaps I should be the one walking backwards, Delia. You look like you could fall over any moment.”

“I’m fine. Let’s get him tucked into bed and find our own rest.”

She started walking backwards up the stairs without waiting for further protests from her father. When she hit the landing on the upstairs, she let out a deep sigh of relief. There had been a couple of moments when she thought she was going to drop his feet, but she managed to find reserves of strength she didn’t know she had and made it upstairs. 

The small room that had been her playroom growing up was only a few steps from the landing. She was thankful for that fact when she realized she wasn’t going to be able to hold onto him for very much longer. They got him into the bed. Looking at him, Cordelia started giggling.

“Cordelia? Fatigue setting in?”

“No, Father. This bed obviously wasn’t meant to hold someone as tall as he is. He just won’t be comfortable anywhere, will he?”

“The bed is probably softer than the examination table, so I think we can take comfort that the bed is the better place for him to be.”

While they talked, the soldier sighed in his sleep and moved.

“I think this really is the better place for him to be.”

“Are you going to bed, Cordelia?”

“Can I sit here with him for a little while? Maybe try to get him to drink a little water?”

“I’ll go get a pitcher and a glass for you.”

While he went for water, Cordelia went to her room to get the chair from her little writing desk and positioned it next to his bed. She also pulled a little table that held a vase and fresh flowers from her room to put the water pitcher and glass on for the soldier. When her father returned with the water, she was perched beside his bed.

“I also brought a basin of fresh water and a clean cloth. Sometimes the body will set in with fever after something this traumatic. The water should help keep him cool.”

“Thank you, Father. I should have thought of that before you left for something for him to drink.”

“Don’t stay up much longer, Delia. You need your rest as much as he does.”

“Yes, Father.”

He kissed her brow and left her alone with the complete stranger she was bound and determined to save from certain death.


	7. Chapter 7

The next morning Cordelia woke up with her head resting on the back of the chair. At first she couldn’t figure out where she was or why her neck was hurting. Then she noticed she was in the small room with an injured man. Her apparent sleep walking adventure bandaging and suturing him came back to her. She picked up the glass of water and tried holding it to his lips as she had done several times before finally giving in to exhaustion. He didn’t respond, so she hoped that getting moisture into his mouth would mean that he would swallow it and not choke on it. 

She noticed her hand on the back of his neck was unusually warm. She placed her hand on his forehead and found he was burning up. The fresh water in the bowl wasn’t cool anymore, but it was better than nothing. She dipped the cloth into the water and wrung it out before carefully mopping his face and chest. She wasn’t sure if it was doing any good, but it seemed to calm him some.

His breathing was still a concern to her. It was shallow, to the point that she had to watch him carefully to determine whether he was breathing or not. She decided that he might just not have the energy to breathe deeply. She hoped Mrs. Taylor was up. If not, she would be woken up.

Creeping down the hall wasn’t her normal way of moving, but she didn’t want her father woken up if she could help it. He had worked hard since the battle started. He needed rest and lots of it. She wondered if she could order him to bed for a day or two. If he didn’t stay there himself, she decided she’d certainly try it. She managed to skip the the step that creaked as she made her way downstairs and out the back door. Mrs. Taylor didn’t live in the house with them, but she lived close enough to make them comfortable. She knocked on the door to her house and waited. Mrs. Taylor took a few minutes, but she eventually opened the door.

“Cordelia, what are you doing over here at this time of the morning?”

“Father brought home an injured Confederate soldier last night.”

“Yes, child. I helped keep water heated for him. How is he doing?”

“I think he needs some nourishment. Can you make some broth for him to drink?”

“Yes, I can. You run back home and I’ll be over as soon as I can get some shoes on these old feet of mine.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Taylor.”

Mrs. Taylor shook her head as Cordelia ran back down the stairs to her home. Once inside, she started tiptoeing again. There were two sleeping men upstairs and they both needed their rest. She looked around the kitchen to see if there was anything she could try to feed the soldier until Mrs. Taylor could come over and get some broth warmed up for him. She knew she should have known better than to doubt that Mrs. Taylor wouldn’t be across the yard immediately.

“Laws, child. Why aren’t you looking after your patient?”

“I was trying to find something to try to feed him, but broth really will be the best thing, won’t it?”

“You’re the doctor, but I think you’re probably right. Give me half an hour and I’ll bring up a bowl of broth for this soldier.”

“What would we do without you?”

“I think you’d do more than survive.”

“Yes, but we wouldn’t be as well taken care of if you weren’t here.”

“Is he handsome?”

Cordelia could feel her cheeks burning. She should have known Mrs. Taylor would see right through to her real feelings.

“He is, but he’s a Confederate and my patient. I can’t think about that about him right now.”

“What are you going to think when he’s better and up and moving around?”

“I don’t know. He could be not very nice and that would take care of the whole mess.”

“Go on child. I assume he is in the small bedroom?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“I’ll be up as soon as I can.”

“Thank you. I’m going to order Father to bed today. I do hope you’ll help me keep him there. I’m concerned for how hard he’s working with all this going on.”

“Good luck with that, child. You know he won’t like it.”

“Yes, but he’ll listen to you if you back me up on this.”

“I will back you up on this. Now, go.”

Cordelia threw her arms around Mrs. Taylor’s neck for a quick hug before hurrying up the stairs. When she entered her patient’s room, she found her father mopping the soldier’s face and chest.

“He’s got a fever.”

“I know. He’s taking water decently well at least.”

“Is Mrs. Taylor getting him broth?”

“Yes. She’s going to bring it up when it’s warmed. I hope she’ll bring you some breakfast while she’s at it.”

“I can go downstairs and eat.”

“Father, you need to rest. You’ve been working yourself too hard and you need rest.”

“I’m not an invalid.”

“I didn’t say you were. You need to rest.”

“I’ll agree to just rest, sit in my room and read quietly, if you’ll agree to at least let me take my meals downstairs at the table like a man.”

“I agree to those terms. Go eat and then go straight back to your room.”

“Although, they’re going to be expecting me to help bury the dead again.”

“If they come here looking for you, Mrs. Taylor and I will set them straight. Your health is important too and I doubt many of the townspeople were pressed into helping anyone during this whole mess.”

“Mostly people went about their lives as best they could.”

“See? Now, go eat and then go straight back to your room.”

“Yes, doctor.”

Her father vacated her chair and went downstairs. Cordelia sat back down and took over the job of trying to get the soldier cooled off. She checked his sutures and was happy to see that none of them looked horrible. It was too soon to tell if they were going to set in with gangrene, but since none of them were gangrenous after his time on the field left for dead, she hoped they would stay that way. If something required amputation, she was sure she wouldn’t be able to do it.

He moaned and turned his head towards her. She held the glass to his lips to try to encourage him to drink some more. For the first time he took an actual drink. Cordelia wanted to cheer, but she kept her excitement to a minimum. It could have been a fluke, but she had hope that she’d finally get to see what color his eyes were. By the time Mrs. Taylor arrived with broth, she had gotten him to drink nearly half a glass of water.

“Are we sure that he isn’t dead? He’s so pale.”

“He just drank some water. I think he’s still alive at least.”

Mrs. Taylor got closer to him and looked him up and down.

“He is handsome. If you were any other young lady, I would worry about you being in this room alone with a mostly undressed young man.”

“I wouldn’t trust me, Mrs. Taylor. You cannot imagine some of the things that have gone through my head involving him.”

“Oh, I’m fairly certain I could imagine. I’d imagine that I thought some of the same things myself when I first accidentally met my Harold while he was enjoying a swim.”

“Mrs. Taylor, you didn’t join him.”

“I was invited and awful tempted, but no, I didn’t join him. I never told another living soul that story. Not the most ladylike way to meet your future husband, but it worked for us. Here’s the broth. If he’s been drinking, he is probably ready for some broth. Feed him slowly.”

“Yes. Please make sure Father comes back upstairs when he is done eating breakfast. He promised to rest today and I need your help to make him do so.”

“I will do that, Delia. I’ll also bring you up a tray with some breakfast. You’re looking a bit pale yourself.”

“I guess I am a little hungry. Thank you, Mrs. Taylor.”

“My pleasure, child.”

The broth was warm but not hot. Cordelia hoped it wouldn’t choke him. She got some on the spoon and slowly poured it into his mouth. Like the water he swallowed it without incident. She didn’t want to put too much into a stomach that had been empty for so long, but she also didn’t want to let him starve. She gave him spoonful after spoonful until at last she put to spoon to his lips and he didn’t respond.

“I guess that means you must be full.”

She used the cloth to clean up the little spills she made. As she was wiping his brow again, he briefly opened his eyes and looked at her and smiled before closing them again and falling into unconsciousness again.

“No! Wake up! Who are you? Is there someone we can contact to let them know you’re alive? Are you in pain?”

Her yelling brought her father and Mrs. Taylor running up the stairs.

“What happened?”

“He opened his eyes, looked at me and then closed them again.”

“Is he still alive, child?”

Cordelia fumbled with the bowl and spoon until Mrs. Taylor finally took them from her. She managed to find his pulse on his neck and relaxed a little.

“He is still with us.”

“Good. I found this when I picked up his uniform to wash it.”

Mrs. Taylor handed her a piece of paper that had Jeremiah Tate Mississippi 11th written on it. Cordelia looked at him.

“Well, at least we have a name and we can stop referring to him as the soldier. Mr. Jeremiah Tate, we will take care of you the best we know how.”

Jeremiah didn’t respond, but Cordelia felt better knowing his name.


	8. Chapter 8

After a week of giving Jeremiah broth and water and doing her best to keep him cooled off, Cordelia was finally gifted with him keeping his eyes open for longer than a moment or two. She had finally taken to knitting at his bedside so she could accomplish something while tending to him. She had also finally taken to sleeping in her bed instead of in the chair sitting next to him. She was concentrating on her knitting when he kept his eyes open and spoke to her.

“I saw you when we marched through town.”

Cordelia stopped mid-stitch to stare at him with her mouth hanging open. His eyes were definitely blue, but they weren’t as deep a blue as she hoped they would be. She blinked a few times and finally found her voice.

“I watched the Confederates march through town several days before the battle. You must have seen lots of girls watching from their upstairs window.”

“Yes, but I remember seeing you and wondering why you looked so sad.”

“Jeremiah, do you know what day it is?”

“Honestly, ma’am, I have no idea what day it is. I’m fairly certain I’m in Gettysburg, but beyond that, I do not know.”

“Do you want to know what day it is?”

“No, I don’t. I would like to ask who you are and why your father considers it appropriate to leave his daughter in a room alone with a half-dressed man.”

“I think you need to rest, Mr. Tate. I doubt you have the strength to be arguing with me based on the state you were in when my father found you on the battlefield-“

“Under a pile of dead bodies.”

“You remember?”

“I do. Miss?”

“Cordelia Jackson. My father is Dr. Oliver Jackson. He found you on the verge of death on the battlefield several days after things were over.”

“So, you are your father’s nurse?”

“No, I am the doctor who has been taking care of you since he brought you home. You stay right there in bed and I’ll bring you some soup and bread. Now that you’re awake, solid food would probably do you some good.”

Before he could protest, she got up and stomped out of the room. By the time she reached the kitchen, everyone in the house knew something had upset her. Mrs. Taylor stood by the stove stirring a pot of soup. Her father was enjoying a bowl of soup and a slice of steaming hot from the oven bread.

“Are you hungry, child?”

“I am, but the soldier needs nourishment now that he’s awake and talking.”

Mrs. Taylor ladled up a bowl full and set a piece of bread on the side.

“Do you need a tray?”

“No. I can manage to take a bowl to him.”

“You might want to smile. The sour look doesn’t suit you.”

“Thank you for the advice, Mrs. Taylor.”

The bowl was very full. Yes, she could handle carrying it up to him, but at that very point in time she didn’t want to do that at all. All she could here was her father’s voice telling her that her personal opinion of the patient should never get in the way of her treating the patient. She wanted to listen to the voice and do exactly as it admonished her to do. Instead she entered the room, tripped and spilled the bowl of hot soup all over as much of Jeremiah as she possibly could making him jump out of bed swearing. He turned to her with a murderous look in his eyes.

“You did that on purpose.”

“No, I did not. These floors are uneven and I should have let Mrs. Taylor put the bowl on a tray. I’m sorry, Mr. Tate. There is a clean cloth and fresh water on your bedside table if you’d like me to help you clean up before I go get another bowl.”

“No, thank you. I think I can live without eating right now.”

He hobbled back to the bed and lowered himself to the surface of it.

“Laws, child. What have you done? You, sir, cannot stay in those soup covered sheets. Cordelia, get me clean sheets. Jeremiah, you get out of that bed and to that chair so we can get you cleaned up. If you need help, I’ll help you.”

“You aren’t planning on spilling soup on me too, are you?”

Cordelia saw him eying the bowl of soup Mrs. Taylor carried properly on a tray.

“No, sir, I don’t plan on spilling this soup on you, but if you don’t get out of that bed, I might be awful tempted to do so.”

Cordelia stood in the doorway as Jeremiah tried to get out of bed again. Since he was no longer being scorched by soup, he wasn’t moving as well as he had before. He finally stopped trying and sighed.

“I think I’m going to need help. Everything hurts.”

“I imagine it does with as much blood as Cordelia mopped from your body before she sewed you up. You just put your arm around my shoulders, and we’ll get you moved to that chair.”

With the amount of grunting going on trying to get him out of bed, Cordelia thought that others might think that something else was going in that room. Finally she couldn’t stand and watch them working so hard and not getting him moved. She walked to the other side of Jeremiah, placed his other arm around her shoulders and her arm around his back. 

“Okay, everyone try to lift him on three. One, two, three.”

It took more effort than other things she had forced herself to do since Jeremiah’s arrival, but they seemed to have managed it finally when Jeremiah thudded into the chair she had vacated to get his soup. 

“Cordelia, clean sheets please.”

“Yes, Mrs. Taylor.”

 

Jeremiah watched Cordelia leave the room while Mrs. Taylor pulled the dirty sheets off the bed. He knew he should have been concerned that he was wearing very little clothes, but he was more concerned with his ungentlemanly behavior towards her. The first conversation with her didn’t need to be insulting. 

“Did she really tend to my injuries?”

Mrs. Taylor stopped her muttering to herself and the pulling sheets off the bed.

“Her father found you on the battlefield when he was helping bury the dead. He thought you would be a good patient for her to have as her first real patient. When he brought you in, she thought he had brought home a body to study anatomy first hand. That’s how close to death you were.”

He looked at the neat lines of stitches on his arms an legs.

“I’m clean and not dead. How did she do that?”

“I think she followed her intuition. She wanted your wounds cleaned off so she could see what she was doing. Her father thought she should suture first and clean after. Her way appears to have been the right way.”

“It appears so.”

“She sat by your bedside every day giving you water and broth and trying to cool your skin when you started in with a fever.”

“She did?”

“Yes, she has taken taking care of her first patient very seriously. If you don’t want another bowl of soup spilled on you or anything else hot dumped on you, I’d change my attitude if I were you.”

He sighed. Being taken care of by a woman wasn’t his idea of an ideal way to recover from battle injuries. Although he was finding it insulting that he was her first real patient. 

“Why was I deemed worthy of being her first patient on her own? Because I’m a Rebel and my life doesn’t matter to anyone here?”

“No, because you were closer to death than alive and he figured if she could get you mended, she could start seeing her own patients. Confederate, Union, it doesn’t matter to Dr. Jackson. Sick and injured people need help and he’ll provide it.”

“Now that I’m awake will I be turned over to the army?”

“I don’t think Dr. Jackson will turn you over to them until Cordelia thinks you’re healed enough to return to a normal routine. You just worry about getting strength back. Cordelia! The clean sheets aren’t that far away.”

Cordelia came hurrying in with sheets. He watched the two women, one young and the other old, work together to put clean sheets back on the bed. Seeing them working reminded him of his mom and sister putting clean sheets on the beds growing up. When they finished, both women turned to him.

“Time to put you back in bed, Mr. Tate.”

“And once you’re there, Cordelia will help you get your soup eaten. You need more nourishment than the liquid diet you’ve been on while you’ve been unconscious.”

Mrs. Taylor and Cordelia took up the same positions they had to get him into the chair to get him out of it and back into bed. Once he was back in bed, Cordelia pulled the covers up to his chin and smoothed them down. He expected to feel some revulsion for someone taking such liberties, but instead her hand left a trail of heat across his chest. He felt the heat rise in his cheeks while a shiver ran down his body.

“Has your fever come back?”

Cordelia placed her hands on his forehead and then grabbed the damp cloth and laid it across his neck.

“I don’t think it has. Other than feeling weak, I feel semi-normal.”

“Just in case, I think you should rest and let me feed you.”

“You aren’t going to pour it on me, are you?”

“Only if you ask nicely.”

He opened his mouth to reply before he realized that she was teasing him. 

“I think I’ll just let you feed me and be done with it.”

“Good, that’s the way it should be. Now, open your mouth for eating and not talking until you’ve emptied the bowl.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

He did as instructed and let her feed him. He thought he should feel at least indignant that he was having to be fed, but he found he didn’t mind it, really. She put soup on the spoon, blew on it to cool it off and then put the spoon in his mouth. He didn’t have to lift a finger and he was getting to eat. 

Once she was done feeding him, he wanted to ask her questions, the first one being why her father thought it was a good idea to make his daughter into a doctor rather than someone a man would want to marry. He started to talk but she stopped him.

“I think you need to rest now. There’s a glass of water here. Do you need a drink before I feed myself some lunch?”

“Please.”

She poured a glass of water and held it to his lips to sip. She giggled making him spit a little of it out.

“Why is my drinking water funny?”

“No, it’s just nice to not be pouring it a little at a time into your mouth and hoping that you swallow it and not choke on it.”

“Have you really spent most of your days sitting at my bedside watching over me and taking care of me?”

She nodded to him as a blush rose in her cheeks.

“And a good part of my nights as well.”

“You slept in this room with me? Where? The floor?”

“No, right in this chair.”

“Why?”

“You were very nearly dead. If I couldn’t save you, I didn’t want you to die alone. You spent enough time on the battlefield alone and injured. You weren’t going to leave with world without a soul in the world being with you in the end.”

“Oh.”

“Not the answer you were expecting?”

“Not exactly.”

“What were you expecting me to say?”

“That you were merely doing your clinical duty as my physician.”

“Yes, there was that too, but I didn’t want you to be alone. What if you had woken up in the middle of the night alone and in a strange place?”

“Worried I would have murdered your family while you slept?”

“No, worried that doing such a thing would scare you and set your recovery back.”

Jeremiah tried to bring that indignant feeling back. A young woman kept watch over him alone. Back home that would have meant calling for the preacher and having an impromptu wedding. He had a fiancee waiting for him back home. He couldn’t risk being an unwilling groom.

“What does your mother think of your father turning you into a doctor, spending nights in the room with a man you don’t know?”

“I don’t know. She died when I was born. I’ll leave the cup of water sitting on the table in case you get thirsty.”

She got up, spun on her heel and quickly exited his room leaving him wondering when he stopped being considerate of others feelings. He rolled over to get comfortable, not an easy feat since there were a couple of spots that had been sutured that still more than a little hurt. Eventually he fell into a restless sleep.


	9. Chapter 9

When he woke up, Jeremiah first noticed that the sun had moved in the sky. It wasn’t as bright and sunny in the room. The second thing he noticed was a rather large, dark haired gentleman sitting next to his bed. He had the same eyes as Cordelia.

“Dr. Jackson?”

“Yes, Jeremiah. How are you feeling?”

“Every part of my body aches. All these stitches hurt and itch. I’m exhausted, but sleep isn’t easy or restful.”

“We have some things we can use to take care of the pain. Anything else we can to do make you more comfortable?”

“I would appreciate at least a little more clothing. I can’t imagine that you feel it’s any more appropriate than I do for me to me wearing so little while in the presence of your daughter.”

“I assure you that you are her patient and looking at your body is done in a clinical matter. Besides I know her very well and even if you would try to be inappropriate towards her, she would put a stop to it immediately.”

“And what about her sleeping in this room with me? I’m not going to find myself married, will I?”

Dr. Jackson smiled and shook his head. He was glad the doctor thought that it was funny, but it was a very real concern to him. He had plans for his life and they didn’t involve marrying someone he didn’t love.

“No, Jeremiah. I would never do that to you or my daughter. No offense, but I’m sure I wouldn’t want a Rebel for a son-in-law. If I think she’s spending more time in here than is appropriate, I will put a stop to it. She has her life in front of her and I won’t have that ruined for anything.”

“Sir, is there a reason why you’re in here right now?”

“Well, to find out for myself how you are doing. The fact that you survived the first day was impressive. Either you’re just that strong and stubborn or my daughter’s intuition on what you needed was better than any medical text I could have given to her to read.”

“Might be a mix of both. I’ve been called stubborn before.”

“Good to know. I also want to talk to you about how you talk to my daughter. I know it’s strange that I have not only allowed but have encouraged her to pursue becoming a doctor. She is a smart girl and I won’t tolerate her being treated like a pariah. She saved your life, plain and simple. If she comes stomping down stairs for a third time, I’ll turn you over to the army to do with you as they please. Understand?”

“Vividly, sir. In my defense, the last time I upset her I did not mean to do so. I simply asked what her mother thought about her choosing to be a doctor. I wouldn’t have done so had I know she was no longer living. I will apologize to her and try not to upset her again.”

“Ah, I see. I will overlook the second stomping instance then. I just don’t like to see her upset. She gets enough grief from people in town who think it odd that she’s doing what she’s doing. I don’t want her to hear more of the same from someone she has given so much of herself to bring back from the brink of death.”

Jeremiah ran his fingers through his hair. He was frustrated with himself more than the situation. His father hadn’t raised him to treat anyone the way he had treated Cordelia. If his father or Richard were around to see him doing what he was doing, they’d throttle him. Wait, Richard.

“I am sorry and will apologize to your daughter. Earlier she said you had been involved in burying bodies from the battlefield.”

“Yes, that’s how I found you.”

“Yes. Did you happen to bury someone who looked like he was my brother?”

“Was he not far from where I probably found you?”

Jeremiah thought back to the battle. He had marched past where Richard fell before he was hit and fell forcing him to try to crawl to safety. He had managed to crawl back some. He couldn’t have been far from where Richard’s body was probably found.

“It’s a good possibility. He fell before I did, but I did manage to crawl back towards where his body would have been.”

“Then I can say with a good amount of certainty that I believe I did bury someone who could have been your brother.”

“When I’m well enough, can you take me to his grave? If you remember where it is, that is.”

“I think that can be arranged. I remember the general area. Do you think your parents would move his body back home?”

“I doubt it. It’s a long journey to Mississippi. Traveling with a body would probably make it even more unpleasant.”

“Yes, as soon as Cordelia clears you to be up and around more, we can walk out to where he is buried.”

“Thank you, Dr. Jackson. You and your daughter are certainly being very hospitable to me when I’m not very sure I deserve it.”

“I’m sure you do deserve it, and you’re welcome. When we’re working, we don’t see Confederate or Union. All I’ve been trained to see is a person who needs help and that’s something I have been teaching Cordelia.”

“But you said you don’t want a Rebel for a son-in-law.”

“Once it involves my daughter like that, I see the uniform again.”

“I understand.”

“Good. Now, I’m going downstairs and we never had this conversation. Delia would never tolerate not winning you over on her own. Knowing I threatened you won’t do at all.”

“She won’t hear it from me that you talked to me.”

“Thank you. Now, you should try to go back to sleep.”

“I’m not tired right now. I’d like to sit up for a bit once I have more appropriate clothes to wear.”

“I will go find something of mine that should fit you.”

“Thank you, sir.”

Dr. Jackson got up and left the room. Just in time too since Jeremiah could hear light footfalls on the stairs. Unless there was another young woman in the house, it couldn’t be anyone but Cordelia. She walked into his room and stopped dead in her tracks.

“You’re awake.”

“It seems so, yes. I hope your lunch was agreeable to you.”

“It was very nice, thank you. Mrs. Taylor is the best cook. I only wish I’d be allowed to bring her with me when I marry and leave for my own home.”

“You don’t know how to cook?”

“I can do basic things, but good cooking eludes me.”

Jeremiah noticed that she stayed in the doorway instead of coming into the room. Since he promised that he would be the gentleman he was raised to be, he invited her in.

“Please, Miss Cordelia, sit down. I’m afraid I’m going to get a crick in my neck if I keep at this angle for very long.”

She smiled at him, making him feel a little light headed, and sat down as asked.

“I’m sorry. I should have asked if I could sit down instead of freezing up because you were awake already and I wasn’t here.”

“Miss Cordelia, before things go further, I want to apologize for the ungentlemanly behavior I exhibited earlier. I was raised better than that and being next to dead for however long I’ve been next to dead is no excuse for me to forget my manners. I do hope you will be able to forgive me.”

“I accept your apology, Mr. Tate. I’m sorry for getting so upset about you asking about my mother. There was no way for you to know that she is no longer living.”

“I too accept your apology, but I have to admit that I could have had more tact about it.”

“Granted, but is there really a tactful way to ask about someone you don’t realize has passed?”

“I don’t think there is.”

“How are you feeling this afternoon? Anything you need? Pain medication? More blankets?”

“I would appreciate something for the pain. Perhaps that would let me sleep.”

“You aren’t sleeping well?”

“I didn’t after I ate lunch. I had some strange dreams and those never let me rest well.”

“Do want some morphine or laudanum? I can’t say either one will work for sleep better than the other. Try one now and save the other to try if sleep doesn’t happen easily?”

“Makes as much sense as anything. Laudanum then? When will the stitches come out?”

“Are they bothering you?”

“Only the itching. They hurt too, but I’m sure that will be helped with the laudanum.”

“I’ll get the laudanum and then I will take a look at your stitches. Some of them might be ready to come out. I suspect that only that big hole in your right calf will need to remain sutured for a while longer.”

“Big hole? What?”

Jeremiah pushed the covers off him not caring how little clothing he had on to look at his left calf muscle. Most of the rest of his injuries were fairly straight lines where he was, miraculously, only grazed. He flexed his foot and cried out with the pain that action brought on. His cry brought Cordelia to his side immediately. Dr. Jackson joined them as well from wherever he had gone to retrieve clothes.

“What happened?”

“He flexed his foot and it made the large wound hurt.”

“Does it still hurt, Jeremiah?”

“No, now that I’ve relaxed it, it’s not hurting. Well, it’s hurting, but I don’t feel like someone just stabbed me with a hot poker.”

“I think you shouldn’t do that again for a while, a good, long while, Mr. Tate.”

“Yes, ma’am. I think I agree. With as much pain as that caused, do you think I’ll be able to walk again?”

“With as fast as you were able to jump out of that bed this morning when I tripped and spilled the soup on you? I think you will. You might have a slight limp, but I think you’ll walk again.”

“Tripped, Cordelia?”

“Yes, Father. I tripped. It was, mostly, an accident.”

“Fine. It was an accident. Go get the morphine and I will see to getting Jeremiah into some clothes that cover him in a more modest fashion.”

“Yes, Father.”

Jeremiah watched her leave and waited until her footfalls reached the bottom of the stairs.

“I do believe she tripped. Don’t be upset with her over that. I think I probably deserved it.”

“If you believe her, I’ll leave it be. Do you want help to get dressed?”

Jeremiah looked over the clothes Dr. Jackson brought to him. There was a button up shirt that looked too big for him, but it would cover his chest. He also found him a pair of pants that looked too big. He wasn’t in any position to complain about things that didn’t quite fit. Being happy he was even around to put clothes on at that moment was enough. 

“I think I can manage it on my own, mostly. Could you help me with the right foot so I don’t make the big wound, as Miss Cordelia called it, hurt like that again, please?”

“Of course.”

Dr. Jackson picked up the pants went to Jeremiah’s feet. He put both feet through the opening and pulled all the material in the legs over his feet.

“If I can get these up to your knees can you do the rest?”

“Honestly, I’m not sure I can. Maybe I should say how I am. It would make suture removal easier.”

“Nonsense. If you are uncomfortable, you won’t be able to sleep. That won’t help matters any. Now that we have your legs in, I’m going to pull you up to standing to get them up to your waist.” He grasped Jeremiah around his chest. “Ready? One, two and three.”

Jeremiah rose to his feet and Dr. Jackson got the waistband of the pants pulled up and fastened around his waist. He tried hard to keep from moving his feet or legs, but the desire to move was too great. He bit his bottom lip trying to keep from crying out. He managed to hold it in until Dr. Jackson got him back to the bed. By then Cordelia was back with morphine. She stood in the doorway watching her father put clothes on Jeremiah.

“Should I wait a while and then come back?”

“No, I think the hard part is done. I will leave you to give him some morphine and get his shirt on him.”

“Yes, Father.”

“No need to stay in here once that’s done.”

“Yes, Father. If you think so, I will find something else to occupy my afternoon.”

“Pleasant sleep, Jeremiah.”

“Thank you, Dr. Jackson.”

“I’ll understand if you don’t want my help getting your shirt on. I’m sure you aren’t used to having to have help to do so much.”

“I’m just happy to be alive to need the help, Miss Cordelia.”

“Let’s get the morphine dosed and go from there.”

Jeremiah nodded his agreement. He couldn’t watch her give him the injection, but he felt it. A little bit of pain for the possibility of getting some decent sleep was a worthy trade off.

“Let me know when you can feel that.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Now, let’s get the shirt on you.”

Cordelia picked it up and held up the right sleeve so he could slip his arm into it. She did the same for the left arm. He tried to ignore the tingling wherever she touched him as she smoothed the shirt over his chest.

“Do you need me to button it for you too?”

“Yes, please.”

Jeremiah hoped he didn’t sound as out of breath as he was feeling. He couldn’t be sure if it was the morphine affecting him or her. It shouldn’t be her. It couldn’t be her. It had to be the morphine affecting him. Even if it was the morphine, he thought he might as well enjoy it.

“I think I can feel the morphine.”

“Good. Sleep well. I’ll check on you periodically to make sure I didn’t give you too much morphine.”

“Thank you.”

The pain he was in dulled enough that he relaxed and fell into a deep sleep.


	10. Chapter 10

Following her father’s command to not be in Jeremiah’s room led Cordelia to reading in her room. She felt she probably should have found something useful to read, but she was feeling flushed and breathless from helping Jeremiah into his shirt. He was her patient. She shouldn’t want to take his shirt back off him. Not what a proper young lady should be thinking.

She turned the page without having read it. If quizzed on the contents, she wouldn’t be able to answer questions about it. She didn’t understand why she felt the need to stay close to him. The morphine dose she gave him shouldn’t have been too much, but something in her belly told her stay close to him. She just hoped she didn’t get caught. She was following the letter of his command, even if she wasn’t following the spirit of it. She couldn’t help that. She wasn’t in his room while he slept. She was doing as she was told.

As the afternoon wore on, Cordelia continued acting like she was reading the book she was holding. She resisted going to check on Jeremiah several times. The sound of his light snoring told her that he was still breathing and that was all she needed to know.

The sound of snoring had been regular since he had fallen asleep. There had been a time or two when he rolled over and the snoring was muffled or stopped momentarily before starting back up, so when it stopped again, Cordelia didn’t pay it much mind. It would start up again in a heartbeat or two. When it didn’t, she set the book down and crept to her bedroom door to listen. It didn’t start up and she heard a commotion coming from his bedroom. Fearing that the army had discovered his presence and was forcibly removing him from the house, she ran into the room ready to lay into whoever would want to move a man in his condition. 

The room was empty. In the bed, Jeremiah had gotten himself all twisted up the sheets and he was struggling against them. By the grimacing, she wasn’t sure it was only being twisted up in the sheets giving him problems. She suspected he was having a nightmare, but she wasn’t sure how to handle that. Freeing him from the sheets might only make him lash out at her. She decided to try to calm him down before helping get untwisted from the sheets.

She sat down on the edge of the bed and began gently rubbing Jeremiah’s back and smoothing his hair from his face.

“It’s okay, Jeremiah. You’re here with me. You’re safe. Shhhh.”

It wasn’t long before he calmed and she was able to untwist the sheets from around his legs and his left arm. She was getting him tucked back into bed when he opened his eyes. 

“Georgina?”

“No, Jeremiah. It’s Cordelia.”

Cordelia couldn’t understand why being called by another woman’s name would bother her so much, but it was. The tears pooled in her eyes. She tried to blink them away, but it didn’t do any good.

“Where am I?”

“You’re in our spare room in Gettysburg. You were injured during the battle. Do you remember it?”

He looked around the room and then back to her.

“That’s where I was in my dream. I was trapped under a pile of dead bodies and they just kept getting heavier and heavier until I just knew I’d never be found alive. And then I heard someone talking to me.”

“I wonder if the morphine did that. I heard some of the soldiers we gave it to say it caused some weird dreams.”

“Was Georgina here?”

“Jeremiah, there is no Georgina here. Just me, Mrs. Taylor and my father are in the house with you. Should we try to send for her? Would it comfort you more for her to be here?”

Jeremiah looked her solid in the eyes. She wanted to look somewhere else, anywhere else, but she just couldn’t do it. He held her captive with one look. She needed to turn care of Jeremiah over to her father.

“Why are you crying?”

“You gave me a scare, Jeremiah. I thought the army had come to take you away.”

“Why would that make you cry? My healing would be someone else’s problem if they would take me away.”

“You’re my patient. No one else should be taking care of you.”

“Can I have some water, please.”

“Certainly.”

She handed him the glass she had poured for him after getting his shirt on him. He gulped it down in two swallows before handing the glass back to her.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Now, I think you should go back to sleep. You aren’t healed and you need the rest.”

“Will you stay in here with me? I didn’t have nightmares when you were sitting with me.”

“Yes, I will. Can you let me sit in the chair though? I don’t think Father would appreciate us sitting like this.”

Jeremiah’s cheeks reddened as he moved his arm which he had wrapped around her waist like she was going to disappear. 

“Sorry. I can’t seem to keep my body from doing whatever it pleases lately.”

“It’s okay. I’m going to move to the chair, but know that I won’t go anywhere unless Father makes me leave.”

“I hope he’ll let you stay here with me.”

“If it’ll help you, I don’t think he can argue with me. Lay back down, close your eyes and relax. I’m not going to go anywhere.”

“Thank you, Cordelia,” Jeremiah replied with a yawn before falling back to sleep.

“You handled that very well, Cordelia.”

“Father, you saw all that?”

“I too thought the army was trying to take him away. You took care of things while maintaining your professionalism.”

Cordelia felt the heat rise in her cheeks. 

“If that’s what you call it, thank you. I don’t know how professional I am for crying over being called another woman’s name.”

“We’ve talked about separating your feelings from your patient. You don’t want to have to make a difficult medical decision that much harder. Would you have been able to amputate his leg when I brought him home?”

“If he needed it to live, yes.”

“And now?”

Cordelia looked Jeremiah’s sleeping form. His eyelashes brushed his cheeks. He murmured something in his sleep. Although injured, his body was strong and beautiful.

“No, I couldn’t destroy such perfection.”

“You need to separate your feelings from him.”

“Yes, Father. I will work on that.”

“I would suggest you not sit at his bedside keeping vigil, but since he requested, you’re right, I can’t say no. However, unless he needs you, specifically, as his doctor for something, you need to let Mrs. Taylor or me take care of it.”

“Yes, Father. I will keep my interactions strictly doctor patient related.”

“Good. Now, I’m going to go back to reading in my room. Would you like your book?”

“Yes, please.”

She really didn’t want it, but she couldn’t tell him no and that she wanted to watch Jeremiah sleep. He looked so peaceful for someone who had looked so very near to death when he arrived. 

“Is this book any good?”

Cordelia looked at the book being handed to her and tried to remember what she could of the plot while covering that she was watching Jeremiah again.

“It’s a page turner, Father.”

“Let me know when you’re done with it. I’ll read it and maybe we can talk about it.”

“I would like that very much.”

He nodded and walked out of the room. Cordelia opened the book at page one and started reading it again. If he wanted to discuss it with her, he meant he wanted to ask her questions to be sure she had read it. She knew her father loved her, but that he just had never quite stopped grieving for her mother. She couldn’t blame him. To lose someone you loved so much would just be unbearable to her. It was unimaginable. 

Seeing her father so miserable had made her decide at an early age that she would dedicate her life to medicine. Even if she found love, she’d never act on it. At least, that was what she had always told herself. That was before Jeremiah Tate came into her life. Somehow during all that watching and waiting to see if he would ever wake up, he had become important to her despite his attitude when he initially woke up. Yes, spilling the soup hadn’t been her finest moment, but there were worse things she could have done to him to express her displeasure. It had been entertaining to see him jump out of bed wearing very little clothing. 

Thinking about the day he jumped out of bed made her suddenly warm. She couldn’t focus on the pages in front of her. All she could see was him. His muscles moving together to get him away from the hot soup. His toned arms made her wonder what it was like to have them wrapped around her. If she focused, she could still feel his arm around her waist, holding her to his side after waking up from his nightmare. She needed a fan. Why could she never seem to find one when she really needed one? She decided to go to the kitchen to get a drink of cool water. Some separation from Jeremiah would do her some good. 

She walked into the kitchen to see Mrs. Taylor knitting, just as she always did when she prepared dinner or any other meal for them. Cordelia felt guilty for not doing her part and continuing to knit even though she was so dreadful at it.

“Problems, child?”

“I need some water and I didn’t think it proper to share Jeremiah-uh, Mr. Tate’s glass.”

“Fresh glasses are where they usually are found.”

“Thank you. Should I continue to work on my knitting? If I’m just sitting by his bed watching because he feels better having me there, I could be doing something productive at least.”

“If you would like to take your knitting upstairs, I think that would be fine. He’s going to need a hat come winter too, you know.”

“Do you think Father would object to me making one for him?”

“We are making these for soldiers and he is a soldier. I think he would find it very hard to say you couldn’t give one to him.”

Cordelia couldn’t help the smile on her face. It would at least be able to hold her focus away from him. 

“Thank you, Mrs. Taylor.”

Cordelia started to return upstairs.

“Cordelia, didn’t you forget something?”

“What?”

“Your own glass.”

“Oh, yes.”

She pulled a glass out of the cabinet and returned upstairs.


	11. Chapter 11

When he woke up again it was dark. Jeremiah tried to sit up and look around, but he had been tucked into bed really well. Did that mean his nightmare followed by the dream of his sister being with him had been real? No, it couldn’t have been real. He knew he was still in Gettysburg and there was no possible way for Georgina to have traveled to see him even if his family knew where he was and what was going on.

“Do you need something, Mr. Tate.”

“Cord-Miss Cordelia?”

“Yes, I’m here just as you requested. Do you need something?”

His stomach let out a rumble. If it had been storming, it might have been mistaken for thunder, but the night outside appeared to be clear with the moon shining brightly.

“I think I need some food, if it wouldn’t be too much trouble.”

“No trouble at all. Mrs. Taylor thought you would probably wake up hungry sometime. She left a plate in the oven for you. I’ll go get it.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

It wasn’t until she moved that he realized that she was still sitting by his bed, just as she said she had done while he was recovering. He knew it wasn’t the most appropriate thing for her to do, but he was fast learning that she wasn’t most women. There wasn’t anyone back home who would have tripped and spilled soup all over him even if he did supremely deserve it. She certainly wasn’t anyone who would take grief from anyone over her life choices. It wasn’t something he ever thought he would admire in a woman, but he was surprising himself of late. Cordelia Jackson knew what she wanted to do with her life and wasn’t letting anyone stand in the way of that. He admired it after getting to know her. 

He rolled over and another memory from her comforting him from his nightmare hit him. He had taken liberty with her and put his arm around her waist like he was afraid she’d disappear if he let go. He knew that thought should embarrass him. It didn’t seem to embarrass or bother her. Why should he let it bother him? His conscious answered for him; Abigail. She was still waiting for him to return home since when he left to fight at seventeen he hadn’t been in any position to propose marriage before he left. Yes, he knew plenty of young men his age taking brides before joining their regiments, but he didn’t want to make her a widow so young. Her last letter talked about the different things her parents were putting together for them to start their lives together. How could he forget about Abigail? Had Cordelia entrenched herself in his mind that strongly in so short a time? He was afraid the answer was yes. The tightness in his chest whenever he thought about Abigail had been taken over by thinking about Cordelia. Was he that fickle?

“Mrs. Taylor did her best to cut your food up before she put it in the oven to stay warm. I hope you don’t mind it being nearly mush.”

“Right now, Miss Cordelia, I will be happy if it tastes decent and is warm.”

“I think you will find that it tastes better than decent and it is warm. Would you like for me to help you sit up so you can eat? Or would you prefer for me to feed you?”

“How about some light first please.”

“Of course.”

It wasn’t long before a lamp flared to life making Jeremiah blink at the suddenly lit room. Once his eyes would focus, he noticed that Cordelia was wearing what he last saw her wearing. There was an addition to her in the form of some knitting. He smiled to know that she was doing something as simple as knitting while he slept.

“I think I’d like to see if I could feed myself, if you are really sure you could help me to sit up.”

“I’m not sure I can, but I’ll go get Father to help us.”

Jeremiah waited for Cordelia to return while the smell of dinner made his mouth water. The smell made him want to work to get himself sitting up, but the memory of the pain from moving his foot around made him think twice about it.

“So, we’re feeling well enough to try to feed ourself, I’m told.”

“Yes, Dr. Jackson. Miss Cordelia thought she wouldn’t be strong enough to get me sitting up. I hope we haven’t taken you from something important.”

“Not at all, Jeremiah. Just some paperwork that needed my attention. Now, to get you sitting up to eat.”

It wasn’t long before he was sitting up with a tray across his lap and a fork in his hand. 

“You should probably try to eat slowly. Your stomach isn’t used to solid food quite yet.”

“I will do my best, but it certainly smells good. I might not be able to stop myself from putting food into my mouth as fast as I can.”

“Give it a try, Jeremiah.”

He picked up the fork and put a little of food on it before trying to get it from the plate to his mouth without spilling everything. When there was still food on it when it reached his mouth, he was surprised. He chewed it slowly, trying to follow Dr. Jackson’s advice to not eat fast.

“Real food not cooked over a campfire. This is delicious.”

“Yes, Mrs. Taylor’s cooking skills were in high demand when she started taking care of us. She’s working on teaching Cordelia, but I think Cordelia’s interests lie elsewhere.”

“If I might say so, I think she’s on her way to being a great doctor.”

Jeremiah knew he probably should have kept his opinion to himself, but getting some real food into his belly, which hadn’t happened without fierce coercion in quite a while. He knew in his heart that he wouldn’t be there having the conversation with them if it hadn’t been for her.

“I didn’t do anything special or heroic, Mr. Tate.”

“Maybe I should follow Mrs. Taylor’s advice and send you to medical school in Philadelphia.”

“Soon, Father?”

Jeremiah stopped eating, bite midway to his mouth, to hear Dr. Jackson’s response. He was concerned that Cordelia would be sent away before he had the change to figure out why she made him feel the way he felt. The fact that she made him forget about Abigail made the need to find out even greater. He couldn’t return home if he couldn’t figure Cordelia out. He couldn’t figure her out if she was gone.

“I could try to send you as early as January, but I think I’d like to wait until you’re at least seventeen.”

“That does give me a year to learn as much from you as I can. Will that be long enough?”

“You already know more than I do, but I can’t bear parting with you already.”

Jeremiah smiled as he ate his next bite. Until such time that he was back on his feet and would, he felt more than likely, be turned over to the Union army, he could get to know Cordelia, if she was amenable to doing so. He was finding her fascinating and he couldn’t wait to get to know her well enough to find what else she was besides fascinating.

“It’ll be nice to not have to get used to another doctor taking care of me.”

“Yes, I’m quite sure I wouldn’t be as pleasant to wake up to after a nightmare.”

“No offense, Dr. Jackson, but I’m afraid you are probably right about that.”

Dr. Jackson smiled at him and winked. He actually winked at him. Did he suspect his attraction to his daughter? Did he approve or was he teasing? Jeremiah didn’t know which it was, but he decided that he would watch himself closely whenever Dr. Jackson was around him and Cordelia. He would remain a gentleman every time he interacted with Cordelia and still explore his feelings for her. It was, after all, how he won Abigail over his brother Ambrose.

“I will return to my paperwork now so you can eat and Cordelia can return to her knitting now that you’re awake.”

“Thank you, Father.”

Jeremiah turned his attention back to eating while Cordelia picked her knitting back up. Dr. Jackson nodded his head at the scene and left.

“If you need to be away from me so your father won’t get upset, I can eat alone. It’s strange to be alone, but I can do it.”

“Nonsense. Someone should be in here with you in case you need help. Father has his paperwork to see to and I have knitting to do.”

“What are you knitting?”

“Hats. Lots and lots of hats.”

“Do you ever knit anything else?”

“I don’t know how to knit anything else. Although, I suppose knitting a scarf shouldn’t be too hard as long as I didn’t have to try a hard pattern.”

“Who taught you to knit?”

“Mrs. Taylor taught me as soon as I could hold the needles. I don’t think I’ll ever be as good at this as she is, but I do my best.”

“Yes, whoever receives that hat will probably be very thankful for its warmth.”

“I hope so. My hats don’t ever look as nice as Mrs. Taylor’s hats. Maybe I would be better making scarves.”

“Practice. If you want to be better, keep practicing. There are plenty of heads who would be more concerned with being warm than looking perfect.”

“I’m glad you think so because I’m making this one for you.”

Jeremiah froze, staring at Cordelia slack jawed.

“For me? Why would you want to make one for me?”

“I can’t get you over these wounds and being left for dead on the battlefield only to succumb to pneumonia because you didn’t keep yourself warm. Would you like a scarf to go with it?”

“Miss Cordelia, I would be honored just by the fact that you want to make me something. Aren’t I the enemy? Shouldn’t we be fighting or arguing or something? You shouldn’t be spending time making me something so nice when you’ve already done so much for me already.”

“If you’d like to argue, we can. I have to tell you that I’m not very good at arguing and fighting, especially over anything that has to do with this war. Although, I do have to say that I find it ridiculous that grown men can’t sit down and talk things out instead of shedding the blood of the young on the battlefield.”

“Two years ago I would have argued with you about that. On July first I would have argued too, but after laying on that field through the end of the battle and the rain and whatever else happened afterwards, you’re right. War is ridiculous. Compromise isn’t weakness.”

“And why did expect an argument from you?”

“I’m sure I don’t know. Not all of us who live in the Confederate States own slaves or would ever consider owning slaves. Our family works our own land to produce whatever season it is.”

“I’m sorry, Mr. Tate. I didn’t mean to imply that everyone who is fighting for the Confederates owns another human being or several human beings. I just hate that men, especially the young men, are giving their lives because politicians can’t settle their differences.”

“I am sorry, Miss Cordelia, that I assumed you thought everyone owns slaves.”

“Well, perhaps we should not make assumptions about each other and go from there.”

“I think that sounds like a very good idea.”

“Do you want to sit up for a while now that you’re done eating?”

“I would, if you think it would be okay.”

“I think that would be fine. We can sit and talk for a while and then we can get you laid back down to sleep.”

“Miss Cordelia, I sincerely do not want to sleep again for a while. I feel like I’ve been out of touch with the world while I’ve been unconscious. Is there any news about the war?”

“Are you sure you want to hear it?”

“Why? What’s happened?”

“Well, Vicksburg surrendered to Grant the day after the battle here was over. Your family wasn’t near Vicksburg, were they?”

“How do you know I’m from Mississippi?”

“Mrs. Taylor found a piece of paper with your name and your regiment on it. I assumed if your regiment was from Mississippi, you were too.”

Jeremiah chuckled at his paranoia. 

“I’m glad that was of some use.”

“Do you need to lie back down, Mr. Tate?”

“No, I feel fine. Why?”

“You’ve grown very pale and it’s worried me.”

“I’ll go ahead and lie back down then. I don’t want to worry my doctor because worrying doesn’t suit your pretty face, Miss Cordelia.”

Cordelia put her knitting down and moved the tray. While she turned away from him to set it back down, he couldn’t take his eyes off her. He was happy they understood each other on the war. He knew that he would be sad when his time with Cordelia and her father came to an end. She was able to help him get back into bed with getting Dr. Jackson for help. 

“Thank you, Miss Cordelia.”

“You’re welcome, Mr. Tate. And please, call me Cordelia.”

“Only if you will call me Jeremiah.”

She smiled at him.

“I would love to do that, Jeremiah. Good night.”

“Good night, Cordelia.”

She blew out the lamp and left the room, leaving him feeling happy to be where he was and yet guilty for enjoying his time there. He knew he should be trying to find a way to get home, but deep down, he knew that he never wanted to leave Cordelia, ever.


	12. Chapter 12

“Shouldn’t I be the one escorting you down the stairs, Cordelia?”

Cordelia couldn’t help giggling. Jeremiah had been getting out of bed on his own for over a week, but he hadn’t braved the stairs yet. She didn’t actually want to push him, but it was time, in her mind, for him to go downstairs and rejoin the world, such as it was.

“Yes, but I’m not the one who has been injured and is still recovering. For once, you can’t let your gentlemanly desire get in the way of your healing.”

“I know, but this is still awkward to me.”

“Get more sure on your feet and we’ll get you a new pair of shoes so you can be all the gentleman you want to be. I know my father has promised to take you to the grave where he believes your brother is buried.”

Jeremiah didn’t answer her about it so she didn’t push for him say anything about the offer. She decided to instead focus on taking the steps one at a time and not moving faster than he wanted to move. Although at that moment he seemed to want to just stand on the stairs for a moment.

“I’m sorry, Jeremiah. I didn’t mean to upset you by mentioning your brother.”

“No, you didn’t upset me. I had forgotten that he made that promise to me. Why do I feel guilty about being alive all of the sudden?”

“I don’t have answer for that. Maybe because you expected that the war would take your life and the fact that it hasn’t has made you feel guilty.”

“That could be it. What has Mrs. Taylor made for breakfast this morning?”

That made Cordelia laugh out loud. 

“I wasn’t going to say anything, Jeremiah, but the other reason you need to walk downstairs and work on getting some of Mrs. Taylor’s excellent cooking off your midsection.”

“Are you saying that being waiting on has made me soft?”

Cordelia looked at Jeremiah. He still looked like a child playing dress up in his father’s clothes, but he had filled out nicely with the nourishment Mrs. Taylor had made a point to supply him every day, at every meal. Even with putting on a little weight, she didn’t think he looked anything but perfect. She could imagine how he looked in his uniform and her cheeks flushed as they were want to do whenever she thought about Jeremiah in any way that didn’t involve seeing him as her patient.

“I don’t think it’s made you at all soft, Jeremiah. If anything, it has helped you look healthy.”

“Like a young man who could escort you around town, if required?”

She was taken aback at his question. 

“You would be willing to escort me about town if needed?”

“It would be an honor, Cordelia.”

“What about Georgina? Wouldn’t she be upset to know you’re escorting another woman?”

“Georgina? Why would my sister care about something like that?”

Cordelia stopped, making Jeremiah stop mid-step. She threw her arms around him to catch him from being off balance.

“I’m sorry. I can’t believe I’ve spent so much of the past month and a half wondering why you thought your fiancee had calmed you out of that nightmare. I should have known better when you realized it was me since then.”

“There you two are! Laws, child! I thought you might have rushed him out the front door instead of bringing him downstairs for breakfast.”

“Where’s Father?”

“He’s seeing patients already this morning. He ate breakfast while Mr. Tate was still trying to get out of bed. I hope you like biscuits and gravy, Mr. Tate. I made enough to feed half the block.”

“Mrs. Taylor, you have not made a meal yet that I wouldn’t enjoy and ask for seconds.”

Cordelia’s jaw nearly dropped when Mrs. Taylor giggled as she was dishing up a piled high plate of biscuits and gravy for Jeremiah. Apparently she was enjoying Jeremiah’s presence in the house as well. 

“And you usually do ask for seconds. I’m counting on that this morning.”

“It smells wonderful, as always. You can count on me wanting seconds.”

She set the piled high plate in front of Jeremiah and a much more modest serving in front of Cordelia. She wanted to dig into the biscuits like she normally did, but she didn’t want Jeremiah to think she couldn’t be a lady. Her ambition was to be a doctor. She couldn’t have done anything less ladylike. She was sure his sisters weren’t raised to do anything but light housework. Suturing up a near-dead soldier had probably never crossed their minds to even think to want to do.

“Are you not hungry, Cordelia?”

“Of course I am. Why?”

“While you’ve been picking at your food and have barely eaten any of it, I’m now on my second plate. Are you not feeling well?”

“No. I feel fine. I just don’t want to dig into my food like a lumberjack.”

“You mean like you usually do, child.”

She could feel the heat in her cheeks. She wanted to admonish Mrs. Taylor for outing her change in eating habits around Jeremiah. However, she knew better than to get Mrs. Taylor mad at her.

“You mean you’re eating like a bird to impress me?”

“Not to impress you, Jeremiah. More to appear more ladylike. I’m sure you don’t know any women who can suture a wound and treat sickness. Not exactly things any sane woman should want to be able to do.”

“Your father brought me to you so close to death most anyone else would have written me off and just thrown me into the grave next to my fallen comrades in arms. Instead, he brought me here, to you, for care. I know that he figured I was dead either way, but I can’t even express words for how grateful I am to you and your father. I can’t imagine anyone sane even attempting to save my life. If you and your father are what insane look like, I don’t like sane people anymore.”

Cordelia just shook her head at him.

“Jeremiah, how can you open your mouth at a time when I’m feeling incredibly stupid and make me feel better?”

He smiled at her, a broad smile that made her tingle down to the tips of her toes.

“It’s a gift I have I guess.”

“Mrs. Taylor, whenever Cordelia comes down- Oh, good. You’re both here and Jeremiah is out of bed. Very good to see up and around.”

“Thank you, Dr. Jackson. It’s very nice to be up and around. I’m not very steady on the stairs yet, but I’ll get there eventually.”

“Indeed. Do you think you might enjoy some time outside?”

“I would enjoy that very much. Do you want me to sit in the backyard?”

“No, I need Cordelia to take this over to Mrs. Brown for her son and if you are feeling up to it, maybe you could join her.”

“I would be honored to accompany Cordelia. However, last I saw my boots, they were barely fit for walking around the house let alone walking through the streets of Gettysburg.”

“Mrs. Taylor has taken care of that for you.”

Everyone turned their attention to Mrs. Taylor, who was pulling a box from the bottom of her knitting basket. She handed the box to Jeremiah before sitting back down to her breakfast.

“I took your boots to the cobbler to see what could be done with them and that’s what he gave me. He and I both hope they fit you well enough. If they don’t, he said to stop in to see him and he’d be happy to do what he needed to do to make them fit you.”

Jeremiah pulled the boots from the box and couldn’t stop looking at them. Cordelia couldn’t take her eyes off them either. They certainly didn’t look close to the boots she had taken off his feet, but they looked like they should fit him. She was impressed with Mrs. Taylor. 

“Mrs. Taylor, I don’t know what to say. These are beautiful. I don’t think I have ever owned a pair of shoes quite this nice before.”

“It wasn’t just my idea to get your boots taken care of. Dr. Jackson helped an awful lot. I never had any children of my own. I know what it’s like to spoil a girl with helping raise Cordelia. I’m enjoying the ways I can spoil a boy, even if he isn’t a child.”

“Well, thank you, Mrs. Taylor and Dr. Jackson. I don’t know what else to say except that I can’t wait to put them on and take a walk in them.”

“Finish eating and you can walk with Cordelia to deliver this to Mrs. Brown.”

“Yes, sir.”

Cordelia turned her attention to her plate and tried to make herself eat little more robustly. Not only was she hungry, but she had a job to do and a chance to spend some time one on one with Jeremiah. One on one away from prying ears. She desperately wanted to know if she made him feel as he made her feel. Her problem was how to broach the subject without just blurting her feelings to the world. She knew she probably should hold her tongue and wait for him to be a gentleman and bring it up. She just wasn’t sure she had the patience for that. Patience or not, it was what she was going to do no matter what. For the first time she wished she had some girl friends who could teach her the finer art of letting a man know she is interested in him without being too forward. 

“Are you ready to make the delivery, Cordelia?”

She looked up to see that Jeremiah had finished his second helping of breakfast and put his new boots on. During her thinking her father had even found him an appropriate jacket to put on. For a moment she forgot to breathe as she looked at the picture he made fully dressed and reaching his hand to her.

“Cordelia?” Mrs. Taylor asked.

“Yes. Yes, I’m ready. I think I’ve eaten enough this morning.”

“Are you sure you’re feeling well, child?”

Mrs. Taylor rested her hand on Cordelia’s forehead and left it there for a heartbeat. Cordelia brushed her hand away.

“I’m feeling very well, Mrs. Taylor.”

“You look flushed, child. I’m not sure you should go outside like this.”

Cordelia tried to calm her heartbeat and concentrate on breathing while giving Mrs. Taylor her best encouraging smile.

“I’m fine. I think a walk would would be good for both of us.”

“If she starts feeling out of sorts you bring her right back here, Mr. Tate.”

“Yes, ma’am. I would never let anything happen to Cordelia.”

Mrs. Taylor looked them both up and down hard as Jeremiah placed Cordelia’s hand in the crook of his arm. Cordelia picked the bottle up from the corner of the table and held it in her other hand.

“No, I don’t reckon you’d let anything happen to her. Be off with you now.”

“Yes, Mrs. Taylor.”

Cordelia let Jeremiah lead her through the house to the front door and out to the street.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for not posting a chapter yesterday! It was the kiddos' first day of school and it was a little crazy.

Outdoors, something Jeremiah hadn’t seen in a few months. With as much time as he spent out there preparing for battle, marching to battle and fighting a battle, he never though he’d be happy to see it again. The first thing he noticed was how the season was starting to change already. Who knew two months would take it from summer to the early signs of fall. 

“The trees are lovely this time of year.”

“Yes, I guess they are. I hadn’t noticed that they were starting to change yet.”

“Do they always start changing this early in the year?”

“Early? Early September is early for the leaves to start changing?”

“It feels that way to me, but that might be because it’ll be just a bit longer before they start in at home. I don’t know if they’re quite this vivid at home. Maybe they are and I just never noticed before.”

“I’ve heard being on the verge of death changes a person’s perspective.”

“Yes. I’m just fortunate and I know that very well. I just hope that I can eventually get to where my right leg doesn’t feel shorter than my left. This is a very odd gait for a man to have.”

Cordelia let go of his arm and he stopped walking.

“No, walk away from me five or six steps and then come back. I want to see if your gait looks off. If it does, I’m sorry. I hadn’t noticed before.”  
He nodded to her and walked as she requested. He knew she was watching him walk from a doctor’s perspective, but he still found it exhilarating that she was paying such close attention to his body. He turned around to find her watching him with a smile on her face. What had she seen that made her smile? He stopped next to her and did an about face.

“Well?”

“You look like you are walking with a rock in your shoe. I wonder if we can fix that or not.”

“I would sure like to try.”

“Let’s deliver this for Father and I’ll see what I can come up with to help you. There was a lot of damage done to that muscle. It was the biggest wound I tried to repair.”

“Yes, I remember when I tried to move that foot those first days after waking up.”

“Let me think while we walk.”

“I can do that.”

While they walked, he noted that Cordelia gently guided him to their destination without making it look like he didn’t know where they were going. There weren’t a lot of townspeople out and about. There were a lot of Union uniforms which made him uncomfortable. He tried to hide it because he was sure looking nervous would only make him a target. He also did his best not to talk whenever they were around. He didn’t think he had an accent until he listened to Cordelia, Dr. Jackson and Mrs. Taylor talk. He was sure it would not be a good thing for anyone in a uniform to know he was from Mississippi.

When they reached Mrs. Brown’s house, he let Cordelia do all the talking. Mrs. Brown eyed him suspiciously, but she didn’t say anything to him. Once they were away from her house, Jeremiah let out a sigh of relief.

“What’s that for?”

“I was afraid I’d have to talk to her and she’d know I’m not from here. It never occurred to me to worry about it until today. There are a lot of Union soldiers in town. Why? Are they afraid General Lee will attempt another foray into the North?”

“I think they’re here because of the battle. They’re building a hospital or so I’ve heard. Some of them might be patients recovering.”

“These soldiers have not been injured. They are all able bodied men. It just makes a bit nervous being around them.”

“Just smile and nod and walk on. You don’t have to talk to any of them. In no time we’ll be back home and I can see what we can do about your leg. I would hope that it’s healed, but I could be wrong.”

“Could it have healed wrong?”

“Healed wrong? I suppose it could have. When a person is trying to suture several day old wounds and can’t tell what might have gone where, it’s a very likely possibility.”

“Can it be corrected?”

“We’ll find out.”

“Thank you, Cordelia. That doesn’t inspire confidence.”

“Jeremiah, I promise you that I will do my best to figure out what’s going on and if it can be repaired. It could still be healing. It could just be that you haven’t been up and walking around for very long and your body isn’t used to it yet. There are a number of answers to your question. It’s going to take time to find the right answer. I wish I could tell you exactly what is wrong and how we can fix it, but I can’t do that. I won’t do that because the human body has a mind of its own. By rights, you shouldn’t be standing here with me right now, but you are.”

“Miss Cordelia, how are you fairing on this lovely morning?”

Jeremiah froze as soon as he saw the blue of the Union uniform. He couldn’t allow himself to be captured before he was fully healed. He didn’t want to be captured ever, but he knew better than to hold out hope to never seeing the inside of a prisoner of war camp.

“Mr. Smith, I am doing well. How is your family?”

“They are fine. Thank you for asking. How is your father?”

“He is back to seeing patients. I just delivered something to Mrs. Brown for him. It’s very nice to see you, but I probably need to return home. I’m never sure when he’ll have need of me.”

“Of course. Good day, Miss Cordelia,” he replied with a tip of his hat.

“Good day, Mr. Smith,” Cordelia replied with a curtsey.

It wasn’t until they walked away that Jeremiah realized he had been holding his breath. His heart was racing and he started shaking.

“Jeremiah, are you okay?”

“I’m not sure. I didn’t realize seeing a Union uniform would upset me like that. What’s going to happen when I’m healed? Will your father just let me return home? Will he turn me over to the army as he’s threatened to do? I’m very afraid for my future.”

“Don’t think about it right now. You’re my patient which means that I decide when you’re healed enough to be somewhere else. Father will respect that.”

“I hope he will.”

 

The nightmare always started the same. He was walking next to the members of his regiment through the fog. One by one those around him disappeared. He thought they were probably shot down, but he never saw them fall. They were next to him one minute and the next they were gone until it was just him and his brother Richard left. He turned to look at Richard only it wasn’t Richard as he remembered seeing him last. He looked like he had been dead for a while. Before he could say anything to Richard, all the others who had slowly disappeared rose up around him, encircling him. Richard raised his arm to point at him.

“You killed us, Jeremiah. We wouldn’t have died if you had done your job better.”

No matter which way he tried to move, there were hands clawing at his hair and clothes. He tried to escape by getting to the ground to crawl, but all that did was bring everyone down on top of him. No matter how hard he fought to get out from underneath him, they kept him trapped to the ground until the weight on his chest was too much. The hard he struggled, the heavier they became. He tried crying out, but it was useless. His voice floated away on the wind.

“Jeremiah? Jeremiah, you’re okay. Shhhhhh. Open your eyes.”

Jeremiah stopped struggling when he realized the voice didn’t belong to anyone in his dream. He tried to get his eyes to focus in the dark, but they wouldn’t cooperate with him. Once a candle flamed to life, he remembered where he was. 

“Cordelia?”

“Yes, it’s me. Calm down. You can’t let yourself get too wound up in that dream.”

“That wasn’t a dream. That was a nightmare.”

He wrapped his arm around her waist as he had done the first time he had a nightmare. This time it wasn’t an unconscious thing. Having her near him comforted him to the point that he didn’t care if what he was about to suggest was completely unacceptable.

“Stay in here with me, Cordelia. You’re the only thing that keeps the nightmare away. I can’t bare even considering that I might have done something to cause the deaths of my friends and especially my brother.”

“But, you didn’t do anything to cause anyone’s death. It was a battle that was part of a war that is showing no signs of stopping any time soon. The guilt for the deaths of everyone on the battlefield lies with politicians not with you.”

“Are you avoiding answering my question?”

“You’re serious? You want me to stay in here with you to help keep the nightmares at bay? The chair is a bit uncomfortable and I’m very tired, Jeremiah.”

“I am serious. Stay with me, please?”

She got up to leave, but he grabbed her hand and pulled her back down to him.

“Please, Cordelia.”

“But, the chair-“

“No, I need you closer to me than the chair.”

Cordelia’s eyes grew wide as what he wanted sunk in. He knew he should have felt some guilt or remorse or something for asking such a thing from an upstanding young woman, but feeling like he was going to lose his mind was more important than anyone’s virtue at that moment. 

“Jeremiah, I can’t. It wouldn’t be proper.”

“To hell with proper, Cordelia.”

“But, there isn’t room in this tiny bed. I would be better off in the chair.”

“Then take me to your bed. I need your touch, your healing touch. You’re the only one who can drive the nightmares away. Please, Cordelia. Please.”

He watched her consider what he was asking. He knew what she should have done was firmly tell him no and return to her bed. If she did that, he wasn’t sure what he’d do. He wanted her with him, always. Abigail was in his thoughts less and less. He knew that should have worried him, but as long as Cordelia was around, he never even noticed all he was doing that was wrong. 

“Jeremiah, I think it know what you’re asking of me, but we just can’t even consider doing something so outrageous.”

“All I want is to sleep while holding you in my arms. Knowing you’re near me will keep my dreams where they should be.”

“But, what if Father finds us like that? He’ll either force you to marry me or send you to the Union army and hope you won’t live long enough to tell anyone why he sent you away.”

“As long as he doesn’t come into your room unannounced, it shouldn’t be a problem. If he finds me not in here, I can always come up with a reason why I wasn’t here. I would never do anything to hurt you.”

She sighed and Jeremiah couldn’t help the broad smile that appeared on his face. 

“I agree to this, but if you try anything besides sleeping, Jeremiah Tate, I will haul you to the hospital and turn you over to the army myself. Am I understood?”

“Yes, Cordelia. Perfectly.”

She took his hand and quietly led him to her room. He was happy to be there, but he wasn’t sure how to go about being nonchalant about crawling into her bed with her. He finally decided to let her get comfortable and curl up next to her. Once he was settled, he reached out to pull her to him. When she was resistant to moving towards him, he got worried.

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m still afraid.”

“Of what?”

She was quiet and Jeremiah almost decided that maybe the nightmare would be preferable to Cordelia being afraid.

“Of you.”

“Me? Why?”

“I don’t trust myself around you. This is something I never thought I’d allow, no matter the reason behind it and yet, here you are in my bed with me. This shouldn’t be happening.”

“Do you want me to go back to my room? I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”

“No. It’s my job to heal and if this is what you need to keep from having nightmares, then it’s what I should be willing to do to help you.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. How do we do this?”

For the first time in his life, Jeremiah felt incredibly awkward. He wasn’t sure where to put his arms or his legs or even where he should be able to rest his hands. When Cordelia moved close to him, he very nearly just let his body take over where it wanted to go, but he knew that could very potentially end badly. He finally decided to let her use his shoulder for a pillow and curl up against his chest. His arms naturally wrapped around her. Once he made sure he wasn’t resting them in inappropriate places, he relaxed a little.

“Is that okay for you?”

“I think it is. I’ve never slept like this before.”

“Me neither.”

“Goodnight, Jeremiah.”

“Goodnight, Cordelia.”

Instinct took over and he brushed a soft kiss across her lips. He felt her stiffen against him and he wanted to kick himself.

“I’m sorry Cordelia. I don’t know why I did that.”

She relaxed in his arms.

“It’s okay. It just caught me a little by surprise, that’s all.”

“As long as you aren’t ready to kick me out of bed.”

“Of course not. Now, go to sleep. I think we’ve wasted a lot of our time getting this getting together with you straightened out.”

“Yes. Let’s try this again, shall we? Goodnight, Cordelia.”

To his surprised she reached up pulled him down to her lips for a gentle kiss.

“Goodnight, Jeremiah.”

Not knowing what else to say, he grinned and tried to go to sleep.


	14. Chapter 14

When she woke up with someone’s arms around her, Cordelia was very confused. There shouldn’t be anyone in her bed. She opened her eyes to see Jeremiah sleeping very peacefully next to her. She panicked, trying to remember why he was with her when her thoughts went to the middle of the night when his struggling woke her up. She couldn’t understand why she allowed him to talk her into something so scandalous.

“Jeremiah. Jeremiah. Wake up. It’s morning.”

His eyes fluttered open and he smiled at her. She felt her breath catch in her chest and realized her heart was lost and that she’d never say no to him.

“Good morning.”

“Good morning.”

“Is your father awake yet?”

“He is usually up with the sun. Since the sun is up, he probably is as well.”

“Do you think I can escape without drawing attention to the fact that I’m here?”

“Let me check to make sure he has gone downstairs. If he has, I think we’re in the clear.”

She laid there waiting for Jeremiah to let go of her so she could go check the hallway. She waited a bit longer expecting that he would realize what she was waiting for and let her up. 

“Jeremiah, I can’t move. You have me trapped here with you.”

“I know and I think I rather like it.”

“What happened to I need you to heal me of my nightmares?”

“You did do that. I slept peacefully for the rest of the night and now I feel ready to take on whatever I should need to do. Now I’m finding that I’m liking this. This being so close to you.”

“I’m glad you’re liking it, but it isn’t going to make it easy for me to get you back into your room without getting caught by my father.”

“Can’t we just stay here?”

“That would not be a very good idea at all, Jeremiah. Unless you’re looking for an excuse for my father to hold a rifle to your head and make threats that neither of us wants him to make.”

“What kind of threats?”

Cordelia sighed in exasperation. He was wasting time and she knew it. He shouldn’t want to get caught in her bed with her in his arms and yet he seemed to be tempting fate. She wanted her husband to want to be standing next to her at the alter. The threat of death forcing him to there wasn’t appealing to her.

“Jeremiah, you know very well what could be construed that is happening in here.”

“But, this is innocent. You’re comforting me in my hour of need.”

“Fine. I’m comforting you, but that isn’t what he’ll see. Now, please, let me get out of bed and check the hallway so you can return to your room and no one will ever know that we had this one night of inappropriateness.” He let go of her like a reluctant child giving up a beloved toy. “Thank you. Now, you get ready to go to your room if I don’t see him around.”

“I will do that.”

She was surprised he hadn’t given her a salute. He had a sense of humor, she’d give him that. However, this attitude of not caring what anything looked like was happening was going to drive her to distraction. Yes, she hadn’t hated the feeling of being in his arms, but she knew it wasn’t right. It was mostly innocent, but it wasn’t right. 

She grabbed her robe and threw it over her shoulders before tiptoeing to her bedroom door. She listened for a few moments before slowly opening the door. The hallway was empty, but she wanted to know where her father was enjoying breakfast.

“Father?” she called loud enough to be heard if he were upstairs. She waited a heartbeat or two. “Father?” When she didn’t get an answer she waved Jeremiah to the door. “Hurry to your room and please be quiet.”

Jeremiah nodded before planting a firm yet brief kiss to her lips and hurrying out the door. Cordelia couldn’t contain her grin as she closed the door. She was completely gone and head over heels in love in Jeremiah. She couldn’t deny it anymore. Not that she ever tried to, but admitting it to herself was scary. She didn’t know how to act around someone she thought she was in love with. 

She heard Jeremiah open his bedroom door and she realized that she had stood there for long enough. Her being up before him wasn’t abnormal. Him being up before her was. She knew she needed to get a move on since he would need help getting down the stairs. He knocked on her door.

“Miss Cordelia? Are you awake yet? I’m going to need help getting down the stairs.”

She didn’t know if she should answer him immediately or act like he woke her up. She opted for the second one and waited a minute or two before answering him. She opened the door to her room just a crack so she could see him grinning on the other side of her bedroom door.

“I seem to have overslept. Give me a few moments to get dressed and I will be happy to help you get down the stairs.”

“Thank you.”

She nodded at him as she closed her door. She rushed to her closet and tried to be as noisy as possible, just as she would be if she had actually just woken up in the morning and realized she was late to start her duties. She threw her robe and nightgown across the bed and put on the first gown she pulled out of her closet. She knew she should do something with her hair, but it would be more believable if she would let that wait until after breakfast. She quickly put shoes on before opening her door to find Jeremiah looking as handsome as ever.

“I’m sorry I overslept.”

“It happens to all of us from time to time. After all you were up in the middle of the night seeing to my nightmare.”

Cordelia shot him a look of panic for mentioning that. She wasn’t sure how her father would feel about the two of them being up together in the middle of the night, but as long as she was seeing to him as her patient, he couldn’t have too many complaints, could he? She hoped not.

“Yes, well, It’s something I should probably get used to doing. People get sick at all hours of the day and night. That won’t mean I’ll be able to sleep the next day.”

“Probably not. Shall we?”

He offered her his arm and she took up the position of walking downstairs in front of him. He seemed to be steadier on his feet going down the stairs.

“I think you’re doing much better today, Jeremiah.”

“Thank you. Mother always called me her fast healer.”

“You have been healing a lot faster than I would normally have expected you to do. Did she call you anything else?”

“More stubborn than the mule who refused to move until he was good and ready to move?”

“Okay, that is interesting. Anything else I should know?”

He thought for a moment before answering.

“Nothing comes to mind right now. Anything I should know about you?”

“Yes, she, too, has a stubborn streak. Although, no one knows that better than you, Jeremiah. You’ve seen how she pushes.”

“Yes, but her pushing has gotten me to where I am right now walking around and up and down stairs.”

“Did I hear you say that you had another nightmare?”

“Yes, sir, you did hear that correctly. I am sorry if I woke you up.”

“Don’t worry about that, Jeremiah. Are you well this morning, Cordelia? You’re looking a little flushed.”

Cordelia’s hand went to her cheeks. 

“I’m sure that I’m only a bit tired, Father. I don’t do well getting up in the middle of the night, apparently.”

“Hopefully it won’t become a habit. I know that I would appreciate not having to deal with that nightmare ever again. I don’t like being scared by something that isn’t real.”

“Mrs. Taylor has breakfast ready again. Pancakes today. I have to admit that we don’t usually eat this well in the morning. It’s a nice change with having you here, Jeremiah.”

“I’m glad I can help out somehow, especially with how much you’ve done for me.”

“If you’d like to return the favor, ask for omelets tomorrow. I love a good ham and cheese omelet.”

“I will see what I can do, Dr. Jackson. I’m not sure I hold as much sway as you believe I do.”

“Ask and see what happens. I guarantee that we’ll be eating omelets tomorrow.”

“Dr. Jackson, you go see your patients and let me deal with getting these two fed.”

“Yes, Mrs. Taylor.”

Her father left them to go to his office leaving them with Mrs. Taylor.

“And you hurry up and get that nice young man into the kitchen to eat some breakfast. I know you have some research you’re wanting to do for Mr. Tate.”

Cordelia got him into the kitchen and sat down at a chair piled high with a stack of pancakes with a side of bacon nearly the same size.

“No food rationing here, is there?”

“No, Mr. Tate. I can get most everything I need when it’s available locally. I suspect that will happen if the war continues for much longer or if the Rebels would come back through here, but, for now, we have plenty and then some. The reason for that is that some of Dr. Jackson’s patients pay him in livestock or other such barter. It makes cooking easier, most days.”

Cordelia did what Jeremiah did and nodded along as Mrs. Taylor talked and talked. Cordelia couldn’t take her eyes off Jeremiah. He had impeccable table manners and could carry on a conversation while managing to eat an entire plate of pancakes and a smaller one of bacon. She had never spent any time around any man who wasn’t her father until he brought Jeremiah home barely alive, but she was finding that she was more than enjoying spending time with Jeremiah. 

As he interacted with Mrs, Taylor, and making her giggle like a schoolgirl, Cordelia thought about what it would be like to spend her days with her world revolving around Jeremiah. His family were farmers, so she imagined he would spend his day working outside, building those already sculpted muscles into something that would strain even harder against his clothes. She didn’t consider herself a good housekeeper. She would love to keep Mrs. Taylor with her, but she knew that someone needed to take care of her father when she married and started her own household. She could still imagine herself spending her day cooking and baking and cleaning all for Jeremiah and keeping him happy and well-fed. Waking up in his arms had shown her that she would attempt and give up anything and everything for him. 

“Are you going to work on Mr. Tate’s leg problem today, child?”

“Oh, yes. I think that we need to see what the muscle does as he’s moving.”

“Do you think I’ll be able to walk normal again then?”

“I hope that we’ll be able to make it so that the only thing that will show you were ever injured will be the surface scars. Over time those will fade as well.”

“Are you done eating?”

Cordelia looked down at her plate and realized she had only eaten one bite of pancake and hadn’t even touched her bacon.

“Are you feeling well today, child? Do we need to tuck you back into bed?”

Mrs. Taylor reached out and cupped Cordelia’s face in her grizzled hands. She frowned at Cordelia.

“You feel warm, Delia. Perhaps Mr. Tate’s leg can wait another day so you can go get some rest.”

“I’m fine, Mrs. Taylor. I just had a night of interrupted sleep. I’ll take a look at Jeremiah’s leg and then go take a nap. Every day we don’t start working on his problem is another day that could mean he might never walk normally again.”

Mrs. Taylor looked her up and down hard while Jeremiah looked concerned. Mrs. Taylor just shook her head.

“You’re going to work yourself to death just like your father is trying to do. I can’t stop you, child, but I will make you go rest after you examine Mr. Tate’s leg closer. Don’t think I won’t.”

“I know you will, Mrs. Taylor.”

“I agree with Mrs. Taylor, Cordelia. You are looking a little peeked and you won’t do anyone any good if you get sick yourself.”

“I told you. I’m fine. I feel fine. Let me finish eating and we’ll get started.”

“Okay. If you think you’re okay. Eat.”

Cordelia nodded at Jeremiah and started eating. She didn’t want to shovel the food in, but she knew she probably ended up doing a little bit of it to get through her food quickly. When she put her fork down, she pushed herself away from the table, stood up and promptly fell into a heap on the floor.


	15. Chapter 15

When Cordelia’s eyes popped open, she had the very concerned faces of her father, Mrs. Taylor and Jeremiah hovering over her. She blinked a couple of times in surprise.

“What happened?”

“You fell into a heap after you finished eating, child. Your father carried you upstairs to bed, where you should have been heading to begin with.”

“What’s wrong with me?”

“I’m not sure, Delia. Until I know for sure, you are confined to bed.”

“What about Jeremiah’s rehabilitation? I don’t have time to play the invalid while he needs me to help heal him.”

“Cordelia, I can wait. If you work yourself hard enough that you make yourself really sick, who will help me walk right again? I think you’re father is too busy with his own patients to help me.”

“I can’t just stay here in bed. This is ridiculous. I need to be up and helping and doing.”

“No, you need to be resting and sleeping, Cordelia. I won’t take no for an answer on this. Until I have a better idea what’s wrong with you, you are confined to your bed. Mrs. Taylor will bring you your meals and Jeremiah has agreed to entertain you and help out however he can.”

“If I’m sick, he shouldn’t be in my room. He needs to be away so he doesn’t catch it too.”

“I’m a grown man who can accept whatever risk I choose to accept. I accept the risk of getting sick myself to take care of you as you have taken care of me.”

Cordelia sighed in resignation. She hated feeling like an invalid especially since she didn’t feel that sick. So she fell to the floor after eating. Maybe she had just stood up too fast. Either way, she didn’t like what she was being told. 

“Fine. I will stay here, but there is nothing that says I have to like it. Tomorrow I’ll be up and around and every one of you will feel silly for making me spend today in bed.”

“As long as you stay there today, you can make us feel like overprotective ninnies tomorrow. We actually hope that you will do exactly that. Now, Mrs. Taylor, please get a pitcher of water and a fresh glass up here for her. Jeremiah, see if you can find a book in my study that sounds interesting. Reading out loud might help pass her waking hours.”

“Shouldn’t she be sleeping?”

“She will sleep. She will probably sleep a lot once we get further into her being sick. Just be here so she has ears close by please.”

“I can do that.”

“Can you please stop talking about me like I’m a child who doesn’t understand what’s going on. I’m not deaf and I’m not stupid.”

“No one said you were, Delia. Perhaps we should finish this conversation outside and let Cordelia rest.”

“Wait!”

“What, Delia?”

“If Jeremiah is supposed to keep me entertained, I want him to stay.”

Her father and Mrs. Taylor exchanged a look. If she hadn’t been upset about the change in what was going on with her, she might have noticed and wondered what they were suspicious about.

“I don’t mind keeping her company while you discuss what we need to be doing for her.”

“Thank you, Jeremiah. Mrs. Taylor and I will bring up what will probably be needed. You make her stay in bed even if you have to physically restrain her.”

“Yes, sir. I do hope it doesn’t come to that since I don’t see any available rope to tie her to the bed.”

“If it comes to that, we have some in the cellar. It won’t be a problem.”

“Don’t even pretend that you’d restrain me to the bed, Father. I can follow directions even if I think they’re silly.”

“That is good to know, Delia,” Dr. Jackson replied and placed a kiss on the top of her head. “I will be back to check on you after I see this next patient. Although I can send Mrs. Johnson and her many children home if you’d prefer for me to be here.”

“Go see patients, Father. I will be fine. Jeremiah and Mrs. Taylor will take good care of me while you work.”

Her father and Mrs. Taylor left the room and Jeremiah sat down next to her. 

“I hope that I’m not responsible for you getting sick. I’m not sure I could live with myself if I am.”

“Jeremiah, I highly doubt you had anything to do with this, other than interrupting my sleep with your nightmare. I just need some rest, that’s all. You’ll see that I’ll be back up tomorrow and working on your leg problem. It’s just been put on hold for a while, that’s all.”

“You wouldn’t need rest if it weren’t for me. There are times I wish I had just died in the battle. I wouldn’t have interrupted your life and you wouldn’t be having to use your energy caring for me. It’s not fair of me to expect this to continue for very long. I know I’m a drain on this household.”

“You just stop talking like that. If you had any idea how many soldiers we saw after the battle, you’d realize that taking care of you was just more of the same. We help people. It’s what we do.”

“I have nothing to repay the kindness you and your father have shown me. Until I woke up here alive, I genuinely thought all Yankees were devils.”

“I thought the same about Rebels, so I think we’re even there. Father knows you’ll repay what you can when you can. Obviously that won’t happen until the war is over no matter who wins, but you really don’t need to worry about it. The knowledge I’ve gained from you is priceless.”

“So, is that how you see me? A medical problems you helped heal?”

Cordelia sighed. She wasn’t feeling awake enough to have that conversation at that exact time, but it was looking like she didn’t really have much of a choice.

“Jeremiah, do you really want to know what I think about you?”

“Your honest thoughts only, please.”

“I appreciate that I got to be the one to help you heal. More than that, I think you are a very nice young man. And, I, um, find myself thinking about you when I should be thinking about other things. Is it crazy to admit that I think I am in love with you?”

Jeremiah froze and Cordelia wanted to kick herself. She didn’t have to go straight to love. She could have talked about how she at the very least considers him a friend, someone she wants to know better, but her memory of the kisses they had shared during his nightmare fiasco burned into her memory until that was all she could think about.

“I’m sorry to shock you, Jeremiah, but after last night, I feel like I can say anything to you and that just slipped out. I do consider you a friend. You’re probably the only real friend I’ve ever had.”

“Really? What about suitors? Surely you’ve had a young man or three wanting your attention.”

“No, I truly haven’t. I have been fairly sheltered in my life. My father and Mrs. Taylor were the only ones who were steady presences in my life. There were a string of nannies that I had through my childhood, but Mrs. Taylor got rid of them as soon as they made their plans for marrying my father known. I’ve never had playmates. I usually talked to Father’s patients while they were waiting. That’s when he decided that he would start training me as his apprentice. For the past two years I’ve spent learning from him and interacting with the patients. No suitors ever. No one has been interested out of fear that I would pick the wrong one like everyone felt my mother did, apparently.”

Jeremiah was quiet. She feared that she had said too much, but talking when she was nervous was one of her faults. Who would want someone who was so unworldly for a wife? No one, she reasoned. 

“Do you really think you love me?”

“Yes. Is that terrible?”

“Not at all. It’s just surprising, that’s all.”

“Oh.”

Cordelia tried to hide how hurt she was that he didn’t remotely feel the safe way she did. She decided to sit there and feel stupid for expressing her feelings so openly and honestly with him. He was quiet for so long that she was afraid he had fallen asleep. Instead of finding out, she burrowed down into her covers and got settled for a nap. Keeping her eyes open suddenly became a very hard thing to do. She was on the verge of sleep when she heard Jeremiah.

“Cordelia? Are you okay in there?”

She poked her face out of the covers.

“I’m okay. I just decided I was tired and wanted a nap. Plus, you seemed like you didn’t want to talk anymore.”

“I just needed to think for a bit about what you said. I’m very flattered that you think you love me.”

“That doesn’t sound like a good way to tell someone you love them back.”

“I care very much for you, Cordelia. I just don’t want to be the man you settle for because other men are scared of how brilliant you are at being a doctor.”

“You think I’d be settling for you?”

“Yes, unless you can think of a reason why a well-bred northern beauty would think herself in love with some Rebel from Mississippi.”

“How about because the supposed well-bred northern beauty knows a good man when she sees one?”

“You don’t know anything about me, Cordelia. I’m not a good man at all. I didn’t deserve to be saved from the jaws of death and I certainly don’t deserve your love. I’m not even sure I deserve your tolerance of my presence.”

“What’s wrong with you, Jeremiah? Why are you saying such mean things about yourself?”

“Just, I’m not a good man for you, Cordelia.”

“Are you saying this because my father thinks I’m getting sick? Are you trying to protect yourself from something possibly happening to me?”

She watched a single tear fall down his cheek and she was confused. What did he know that she didn’t know?

“Maybe I should think about trying to get back home or something. I can’t have you thinking such nice things about a cad like me.”

“Jeremiah, I want to argue with you, but right now, I’m really tired and I just want to sleep. Please don’t leave without letting me say goodbye and change your mind.”

“I promise I won’t leave until you’re past whatever this is and I can say a proper goodbye.”

“Good. If you would leave, I would try to follow you. You know that, right?”

“Yes, that’s why I decided that I will stay until you’re better. I can’t be responsible for something happening to you out in the world.”

She nodded at him and then yawned so big she hurt her neck. 

“Sweet dreams, Cordelia.”

Only Cordelia couldn’t respond since she was already asleep.


	16. Chapter 16

Jeremiah spent the rest of the day hovering at Cordelia’s sick bed. He hated having to be mean to her especially after he led her on with kissing her and not wanting to let her get out of bed that morning, but he was a gentleman and he had made a promise to Abigail to marry her. After watching Dr. Jackson panic at how pale and hot to the touch Cordelia was, he was kicking himself. What would he do if she died? Did he maybe love her back? Even if he felt some obligation to Abigail, didn’t he also owe Cordelia something besides belittling her feelings? Did he love her? After enough thought, he could agree that yes he did. He loved her and wanted nothing more than to marry her and love her until death do they part. Based on how miserable she looked and how concerned Dr. Jackson looked as the day wore on, she was very seriously sick and that worried Jeremiah.

Even after Mrs. Taylor brought him dinner, he refused to leave Cordelia. She slept at his bedside while he was ill. It wouldn’t kill him to do the same for her. If that was the only way for him to prove to her how he felt about her, so be it. He’d do it. 

“Jeremiah, why don’t you go get some sleep. I’ll sit with her for a while. Maybe I can get some water or broth into her.”

“I don’t want to leave her.”

“She’s really sick, but I don’t think she’s sick enough to leave us. Go. Sleep or you’ll be useless once she’s awake.”

“No. I won’t leave her. I said some things to her after you and Mrs. Taylor left and I want to tell her as soon as I can that I was being a stupid jerk and apologize.”

“That can wait until you’re more awake, you know. Sleep would do you some good too, you know.”

“I know, but-“

“Jeremiah, please don’t make me pull doctor rank on you.”

“Doctor rank?”

“Yes, by ordering you to go to bed on the double.”

Jeremiah chuckled to himself and shook his head.

“I will go to bed, but I want you to come wake me the second she wakes up.”

“I can do that. Go. Get sleep. I will wake you when I can’t stay awake anymore.”

Jeremiah relinquished his chair to Dr. Jackson and returned to his room. He took off his boots and jacket before crawling into bed. His head had barely hit the pillow when he was asleep. 

His dreams started out making him feel good. Most of them involved Cordelia. She did make him happy, happier than Abigail had ever made him. For the first time he saw that Abigail enjoyed getting him and Ambrose and every other man in town to fight over her. She didn’t love any of them, really. They were just in her long line of conquests. The reason she wanted to wait until he returned from the war to marry was so she could still flirt and entice anyone she set her sights on. Abigail played games that he hoped Cordelia was too mature and refined to ever think about playing. 

It wasn’t long before the nightmare started again with him walking the charge with others in his brigade until it was just him and Richard. Soon Richard turned on him and everything came crashing down. The only difference was Cordelia wasn’t there to wake him up that time. He had to lay there and struggle until he woke himself up. Even when he was awake, he struggled since he tangled himself in his sheets so badly that he couldn’t get free. Fortunately, Dr. Jackson heard him and came to help.

“Another nightmare?”

“Yes. This was the same as last night. It’s shaken me up pretty badly. I don’t want to go back to sleep ever again.”

“You will have to eventually sleep. We all have to do it. Is there anything I can get for you?”

“Yes, is it my turn to sit with Cordelia? Even sleeping in a chair in a room with her in it is preferable to sleeping in here. I’m sure I’ll have that nightmare again if I stay here.”

“I’m ready to give up my seat next to her bed. You may occupy it if you believe that you’ve slept enough for the night.”

“I don’t know if I’ve slept enough, but I slept enough in the bed.” He swung his legs over the side of the bed and went to put his boots on. Dr. Jackson stopped him.

“Be comfortable, Jeremiah. It’s hard enough on the neck and back to sleep sitting a chair. You don’t want to add having boots making your feet uncomfortable on top of it.”

“It’s going to be weird to be well with no shoes on, but okay. I can do that.”

He padded back to Cordelia’s room and was struck by memories of the last time he entered her room in the middle of the night. He hadn’t expected it to bring forth such strong emotions. It did. And walking in to see her laying in bed, pale as a white sheet, didn’t help his feelings any. He considered himself a strong man, but seeing her like that made him break down in tears. He never even mourned Richard’s death. He had shoved that to the back of his mind The memory was pushed forward and he found himself crying for a multitude of reasons.

He felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up into the tear streaked face of Dr. Jackson.

“She’s going to be okay, Jeremiah. We just have to take care of her.”

“I know. I have great faith in you. You practically brought me back from the dead. She will recover if you have much to say about it and I know you do. It’s not her that has me so upset.”

“What’s wrong then?”

“My brother is gone. His body is rotting in some unmarked grave in the middle of a field up here so far from home and the rest of our family. I can’t stand that thought. He should be in the family plot back home.”

“Do you want me to see what we can do about finding him and getting him home?”

“Won’t you be labeled a traitor for helping do that?”

“No one will question if I explain that your family are old friends of the family and once I received word that your brother had been killed in action here, I took it up on myself to see if he could be sent home to be buried with him family.”

“And how will you explain my presence?”

“You’re the one who brought the news to me and you would like to be the one to take the body back home.”

“I can’t leave Cordelia to return home.”

“Jeremiah, I know you’re a good man, but I have bigger dreams than having my daughter marry the first man she spends any time with, especially since I don’t know anything about your family.”

Jeremiah was flabbergasted. He had suspected that Dr. Jackson only saw him as a patient. It hadn’t occurred to him that he would be seen as not only a bad match for Cordelia, but a completely unacceptable match for her. He didn’t know what to think or even what to say. How does a person respond to a statement like that?

“And the fact that she’s already professed her love to me?”

“I think your response to that is enough to put you out of her head. I’m going to send her to medical school in the Spring. I have a friend in the higher administration at the College of Philadelphia who is going to help me get Cordelia into the school of medicine there.”

“I thought we were going to keep her here until the Fall? Won’t she be upset that you’ve made this decision without consulting her?”

“She might, but she’ll get over it. Even better, she’ll accept it because I have her best interests at heart.”

“Do you? I doubt she’ll see it that way.”

“It doesn’t matter, Jeremiah. This is how it needs to be. You are welcome to stay until early December, but after that, we’ll be getting her settled in Philadelphia. It would be best if you weren’t around for any of that.”

Jeremiah felt like someone had reached into his chest and pulled out his still beating heart. He couldn’t leave Cordelia, not then, not ever. Dr. Jackson telling him that he would never allow him and Cordelia to be together ripped him apart. 

“Maybe if my mother and one of my sisters could come up here to help escort Richard’s body back home, you can see what kind of family I come from. We don’t own slaves. We are hard workers. We are good people, Dr. Jackson.”

“I’m sure you are, Jeremiah, but Cordelia will have better than a working class life. I want her to marry a man with a degree and future prospects that don’t include working himself to death. I won’t let her become a widow in the prime of her life.”

“I don’t see how you can say any of this.”

“Mrs. Taylor has suspected for some time that there was more here. I didn’t want to believe it, but today when Cordelia asked for you to stay with her while we talked, I knew. So, I listened outside the door. I cringed when I heard what she said, but you answered her in such a way that will make it easier for me to refuse to allow you two to marry.”

“But I do love her. I love her more than anyone could ever realize.”

“Then what held you back from telling her that earlier?”

Jeremiah couldn’t look him in the eyes. He wanted to, but he knew that not telling anyone that he was engaged was not only not good, it was down right bad. He sighed.

“I’m engaged to someone that I’m no longer in love with.”

“You obviously were at one point in time. What changed?”

“Cordelia showed me what real love is. She showed me how you treat someone you care about. She knitted me a hat and matching scarf. Abigail never ever did anything for me. I’m not a man for grand gestures, but she never has done any little thing for me.”

“But, she accepted your proposal.”

“Yes, after a down and dirty hand to hand fight with my younger brother. She’s never even said she loved me. Whenever I said it to her, she would smile at me and kiss me, but she never said it back. Cordelia saying it first was a shock. I was flattered, but I wasn’t sure how I felt about her. Now I know and it’s too late because you already decided that our feelings don’t matter.”

“They do matter. They just have no bearing on Cordelia’s future. They can’t have any bearing on it. She’s too smart and too intuitive to waste being a housewife and mother.”

“Who says she’d waste any of that on me? You think I wouldn’t allow her to do what she loves?”

“That’s why I want her to go to medical school. She’ll be able to meet a nice young man who thinks how she does and they can work together, maybe. Who knows. I just want to know that her future is secure. Do I make myself clear?”

“Extremely clear, sir.”

“I don’t want you to mention any of this to her until I’ve had a chance to tell her about medical school. I won’t do that until she is past this influenza. I don’t want her to relapse under the stress you could place on her.”

“She won’t hear it from me, sir.”

Jeremiah sat up straight and turned his attention to Cordelia’s sleeping form.

“I will help you find your brother, Jeremiah. I wouldn’t want a family buried so far from the people who loved him. You don’t have to worry about any grief from the military. I’ll take care of everything.”

“Thank you, sir. Now, I think you should find your rest. I’ll sit with Cordelia for the rest of the night.”

“I will. Goodnight, Jeremiah.”

“Goodnight, sir.”

Jeremiah sighed in frustration. That was not how he hoped to leave Gettysburg. If it meant he got to take Richard’s body home, he’d live with the decision, but he would appeal directly to Cordelia when she was awake. Maybe there was something they could do to change his mind, together.


	17. Chapter 17

Cordelia had a restless night. Jeremiah spent a good part of his time wondering if he should get Dr. Jackson or just let her be. He managed to make it through the rest of the night without having to wake the doctor up, but he had some tense moments.

About an hour after he started his self-appointed watch, Cordelia started coughing. She had done plenty of coughing during the time he had spent in her room, but this coughing episode started out sporadic until she started coughing so hard that he was afraid she’d throw herself out of bed. On a whim he grabbed a basin and moved onto the bed with her. 

By the time he was next to her, she was semi-awake. She looked at him with glazed over eyes during what were becoming shorter and shorter breaks between coughs. He set the basin on her lap and wedged himself between her and the headboard. He didn’t know what made him do it, but he started gently patting her on the back as she coughed. It wasn’t long before the patting turned to dang near beating her back. He didn’t know then what made him do it, but it wasn’t long before she started coughing up phlegm into the basin. 

Once the gagging stopped, she calmed down and rested against him. Jeremiah carefully moved the basin to the table before wrapping his arms around her. She rested her head against his chest. He found himself crying again, knowing that Dr. Jackson would never let them be together where they could spend their nights in each other’s arms.

“You feel good, Jeremiah.”

“The fever hasn’t made you delirious?”

“Possibly. I guess Father already knows that he was right about me being so sick?”

“That’s a pretty sure thing. I’m surprised he hasn’t come rushing in here to check on you with that coughing fit.”

“He is a sound sleeper. Mrs. Taylor told me during the battle she was sure he could sleep next to the firing cannon and rest well.”

“He’s lucky then. I never much liked sleeping on the ground or wherever we were forced to sleep on the march.”

“Why are you in here instead of him? I figured with your confession that you don’t love me that you’d leave the second you got the chance.”

“Well, there’s this little problem I have and you’re the only one who can help me with it.”

“I haven’t gotten your leg better yet. Don’t worry. I won’t let you leave until it’s at least tolerable to you.”

“No, that’s not it at all, Cordelia.” He paused, wondering how far back on his word he’d be going if he went ahead and told her that he loved her. He did say she wouldn’t hear from him Dr. Jackson’s plans for her future. There was no mention of confessions of love. “I love you. I don’t know why I couldn’t say it before, but I do. I don’t ever want to leave your side.”

Cordelia gave him a sleepy smile.

“I’m glad that I was able to at least dream that you told me that. If this kills me, it’ll be a nice memory to have while this kills me.”

“But, Delia, this isn’t a dream. I’m really in your room with you and I don’t even care that you’re sick and doing disgusting things that would normally make me run away screaming.”

“This is a nice dream.”

“Oh Cordelia,” he murmured into her hair.

“I’ve never wanted a big wedding.”

Jeremiah froze. Mentioning the word wedding worried him until he realized that she was delirious and thought she was still dreaming.

“I thought it was every woman’s dream to have a big wedding with as many people as possible attending. Although, that wasn’t anywhere near what the weddings were like before the war started.”

“I just want it to be me and him with our parents and Mrs. Taylor attending. I don’t want a reception or anything. Just a ceremony followed by traveling west as soon as we can find a way to go.”

“Why head west? Isn’t there enough need for doctors here?”

“I’ve always known that I could never stay here and work. People don’t want to see a woman doctor.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t know. Woman aren’t as smart as men, are we?”

“I don’t think so. I already know that you are smarter than I could ever hope to be.”

“You’re funny.”

“So, why head west?”

“I figure there aren’t as many doctors out there and people would be glad to have a doctor in town to care for them and they won’t care so much that I’m a woman and not a man. Maybe gaining experience out there will help if we would ever need to come take care of Father later in his life.”

“So you would want to move back to Gettysburg?”

“I wouldn’t object to it if it meant being able to care for Father when he needs me. Would you be willing to move west with me, Jeremiah?”

Jeremiah hugged her to his chest, wanting to memorize what it felt like to hold her there.

“I would be honored to move west with you, Cordelia. Move west, come back to Gettysburg, I wouldn’t care as long as you were with me.”

“That’s nice to know. I’m not sure I could marry someone who wasn’t willing to move around some.”

“Why is that?”

“I’ve lived here my whole life. I don’t know anything but Gettysburg. I’d like to see more of the world before I die. Although, if this is what I think it is, it might be too late.”

“What do you think you have?”

“It’s influenza. I know the symptoms. I’m not an idiot.”

“Can a person recover from it?”

“Lots of people do, but I’m awful sick, Jeremiah. I’ve never felt this badly before in my life. I don’t mind admitting to a dream that I’m scared.”

“Well, you just rest and don’t think about it. I’ll be scared for both of us and that way you can put all your energy towards healing.”

“I’ll do my best.”

“Good.”

When she didn’t answer, he was afraid that something had happened to her. He finally heard her draw in a deep breath which was followed by a strong bout of coughing. He grabbed the basin again and took to patting her on her back again. She coughed up more before settling down again. He knew he should move back to the chair, but he was genuinely afraid that if he left her she would take a turn for the worse. Instead he focused on pulling the covers back up to her chin and making sure she was nice and warm, as Dr. Jackson had stressed she must be kept, before settling in to fall asleep holding her for the second night in a row. A thought that brought a smile to his lips.

The next morning, he woke up with Cordelia still firmly wrapped up in his lap. He didn’t know if looking after a sick patient would be an acceptable reason for him to be in her bed or not. Just in case it wasn’t a good enough reason, he gently tried to unwedge himself from between her and the headboard. He had almost succeeded when he realized the basin of stuff Cordelia had coughed up overnight wasn’t sitting on the table anymore. Then Dr. Jackson walked into the room and Jeremiah started to panic. It couldn’t look good that he was in bed with Cordelia.

“I am so sorry, Dr. Jackson. I helped her with a coughing fit and then it was just too hard to move without disturbing her.”

Dr. Jackson waved his hands at him.

“I’m not concerned with this, Jeremiah. I heard Cordelia last night despite her assertions that I was probably sleeping through it. Based on what was in that basin, you did the right thing by her. She needed your help to clear out her lungs. I would never get angry over that. However, if I ever catch you in her bed when she’s well, there is nowhere you could hide that I wouldn’t hunt you down and shoot you like the dog you are.”

Jeremiah gulped, drawing a laugh from Dr. Jackson.

“I hope that never happens, sir.”

“Me too, Jeremiah. Do you need some help getting out of there?”

“It appears I do. She has a death hold on me.”

Dr. Jackson came over to access the situation. He placed his hand on Cordelia’s brow and smiled.

“Maybe you are what she needed last night. She’s still feverish, but at least she isn’t pale anymore. Let’s get you out there, shall we?”

He gently put his hand between Cordelia and Jeremiah and pushed her away from him which only made her hold on tighter. He tried prying her hands from Jeremiah’s back to no avail. He stood back and just stared.

“Hopeless?”

“Nothing is hopeless. I just can’t figure out why she has such a strong hold on you. It’s not like she should have any strength with as sick as she is. Maybe we need to wake her up just a bit to get her to cooperate with us.”

“I hate to do it, but if that’s what it takes.”

“I hate to do it too, but I think it’s our only option.”

Dr. Jackson gently rubbed her back and got down by her ear to talk to her.

“Cordelia? You need to wake up, sweetheart. You have Jeremiah trapped and he needs to go eat some breakfast.”

“Don’t want to let go,” she replied.

“You have to, Delia. He needs to get some fresh air.”

“No. Stay here with me.”

“Cordelia Rose Jackson, you let go of Mr. Tate or I will send him away.”

She immediately let go of Jeremiah.

“Don’t take him away from me.”

Dr. Jackson kissed her on the brow.

“I won’t take him away from you. You got back to sleep unless you need something.”

“Yes, can I have a little bit of water. I’m terribly thirsty.”

He poured a cup of water for her and handed it to Jeremiah to help her drink. Once she got a couple of sips down she smiled broadly at both of them.

“I’m going back to sleep now.”

“Goodnight, Delia.”

“Goodnight, Father. Goodnight, Jeremiah.”

“Goodnight Cordelia.”

She laid back down and fell into a deep sleep, as far as they could tell.

“Go downstairs and get yourself some breakfast. Mrs. Taylor should have everything ready for you by now. If not, she’ll talk your ear off.”

“I don’t mind. She’s a very sweet lady.”

“That she is.”

Finding himself freed from Cordelia’s grasp, Jeremiah went to his room and put his boots on before heading downstairs. He found Mrs. Taylor in the kitchen singing to herself and stirring a couple of different pans.

“What’s on the menu today, Mrs. Taylor?”

“Scrambled eggs, sausage patties and oatmeal. I thought they’d be good if Cordelia decided she wanted to try a little bit of food. Do you think I should take a tray up for her?”

“If Dr. Jackson hasn’t eaten, he might appreciate a tray. I’m not sure Cordelia is awake enough to eat anything solid.”

“But she’s been awake?”

“Yes, ma’am, she has been awake some.”

Mrs. Taylor smiled and nodded and turned to stir something on the stove. Jeremiah watched her work. He always enjoyed watching his mom and sisters work in the kitchen. It never ceased to amaze him that they could take raw ingredients and make things that tasted as good as most everything they prepared.

“You and Cordelia would make a fine couple.”

Jeremiah was taken aback. He thought she would side with Dr. Jackson where he and Cordelia were concerned.

“Thank you, but I don’t think we’ll ever get the chance to be together.”

“Dr. Jackson just doesn’t remember what it’s like to be young and in love. He and Mrs. Jackson went through a lot to be together. He doesn’t want Cordelia to have to face all the obstacles they did.”

“Well, he made it quite clear that he would never consent for us to marry.”

She turned on her heel so fast he sat back hard against the back of his chair. She waved a wooden spoon in his face for effect.

“I’m only going to say this once, Mr. Jeremiah Tate, so you listen good. Love is worth a lot more than anything Dr. Jackson could give as reasons to keep you two apart. All his reasons for wanting the match he wants for Cordelia don’t usually end up in happy marriages. Love doesn’t put food on the table, but it’s so much better than anything else in this world. Don’t ever let him or anyone else discourage you from pursuing what you want. Do you understand that, child?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“And I don’t want any of your southern gentleman sensibilities step in and make you agree with what he’s trying to put you and Cordelia through. I love that child like she was my own. I won’t come right out against her father, but I will work behind his back to see that he doesn’t ruin her life and her happiness. Just know that I am on your side on this, Jeremiah. I want that child to be happy and I’ve seen how she looks at you. You will make her happy or die trying. I’ve seen it on your face too.”

She turned back to the stove like she hadn’t just lectured him and began stirring something again. He found himself flabbergasted again. He started to wonder who had Cordelia’s best interests at heart and who he should listen to about her. He wanted to believe Mrs. Taylor. She had the age and experience to know things, but Dr. Jackson was Cordelia’s father. If he ever had any hope of marrying her, he would have to make Dr. Jackson see that was how things should be. He could only hope that when Cordelia recovered, when not if, she could help her father see that she ultimately knew what was best for her future.

Guilt stabbed at his heart. What about Abigail? His mind screamed at him for not considering what to do about her. Slowly a plan formed in his mind. He knew he’d be labeled a cad for breaking his engagement to Abigail, but he knew that she hadn’t been completely faithful to him while he was fighting for the right for his country to be recognized officially. Ambrose hadn’t gone away to war. He was only recently just old enough to join up. If he didn’t know better, he suspected that Abigail had run to him for comfort the second Jeremiah left for training.

Would Cordelia want him still? It was a question he wasn’t sure he knew the answer to. Cordelia was the only one who could answer it and she was trying to recover from her sickness upstairs. How would she react when Dr. Jackson told her about his plans for her future? Would she fight to have him in her life or would she meekly give in to what her father wanted of her? He hoped she’d fight. He would certainly fight for her.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry, my lovelies, for not posting a chapter the past two days!! I went down with a migraine Monday and was still recovering yesterday. I am hoping two chapters today will help make up for it!!

“Jeremiah, if you’ve had your fill of breakfast, I need you upstairs.”

“Does she need to be moved?”

Jeremiah piled his dishes and started to carry them to the sink when Mrs. Taylor took them from his hands and went about her business.

“No. She’s restless and has been since shortly after you left. I think she needs you in the room with her.”

“Do you want me in the room with her?”

“If it will calm her down, of course. Why would you ask such a question?”

“If I’m not good enough for her, I’m surprised I haven’t been kicked out of the house yet.”

“Laws, Jeremiah. You get upstairs right now and get that child calmed down. I won’t bury another member of this family just yet.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Jeremiah left what was left of his breakfast and took the steps two at a time to get upstairs to Cordelia. She wasn’t having a coughing fit when he walked into her room, but he still crawled into the bed with her and wedged himself between her and the headboard again. Dr. Jackson walked in, looked at them and pursed his lips. Much to Jeremiah’s great surprise he didn’t say a word about the situation at all. As soon as he was with her, she calmed right down, sighed and fell into a peaceful sleep.

“I know that she wanted you here.”

“And yet you want to keep us apart. Why?”

“I told you why. Please just accept that she is not meant for you and return to the life you led before the war.”

“I’m not sure I can do that. The future I always imagined for myself changed the minute Mississippi seceded and I sighed up to fight. I’m figuring that all the land my father owned before the war might not be there to be divided up after this is all over. I won’t have anything to make a living down there.”

“That won’t happen. President Lincoln wants a peaceful solution to this and he doesn’t want the south punished for what’s happened.”

“Doesn’t he? It’s what I would want if I were leader of either one of these countries. If the south wins, I’d want the north punished for what they made us do and if the north wins, I’d want the south punished like errant children coming home late for dinner. Who in their right mind wouldn’t find a way to make it impossible for this to happen again?”

“I think President Lincoln and Congress will find a way to make this hard to do ever again, but I don’t think punishment is what’s wanted. Regardless, you know life down there better than you know life up here. The few short months you’ve been here, most of which you were unconscious, aren’t enough to show you how things work here and what would be expected of you.”

“Who says I would want to stay here?”

The look of pure terror on Dr. Jackson’s face made Jeremiah instantly regret what he had just said. He hadn’t meant to just throw traveling west into the ring just yet.

“Where would you want to go?”

“I don’t know, but there are no laws saying we would have to stay here. They need doctors and people willing to work hard in the west. In Cordelia and me, they’d be getting both of those things.”

“I won’t let you take her away from me. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I’ll help you find your brother’s body and you can accompany it home. Once you’re there, I want you to stay there. Cordelia is going to medical school and there isn’t anything you can say or do that would stop that.”

“Yes there is. You could ask Cordelia what she wants.”

Both men stopped arguing to look at her looking at the both of them like they had lost their minds arguing over her future.

“Sweetheart, you’re sick. You need rest and maybe some broth. I’ll have Mrs. Taylor bring you some. After you’re done eating you need to rest again. Okay?”

“No. It’s not okay. I’ll have the broth, but I don’t like you making decisions about my future that you haven’t bothered asking me a thing about. Does nothing I want matter to you?”

“Of course it does, Delia, but I also know what heartbreak is like and how it feels to have the entire world working against you when you’re trying to achieve something you really want. I think the world would not like you and Jeremiah together.”

“Why? It seems to me that you are the only one who things that we don’t belong together. Unless you would like to tell me that I heard everything the two of you said is wrong. Is it wrong?”

“Cordelia, please, don’t argue about this now. You don’t have the strength. Jeremiah is here for you because he seems to keep you calm. Beyond that, we’ll talk once you’re up and around and feeling better.”

“No. I want to talk about this right now.”

“No. We will not discuss this while you’re so sick. You aren’t in your right mind right now. Later. We’ll talk about this later.”

“Father-“

“No. Later. I’m going to go get Mrs. Taylor to bring you some broth and I want you to drink every last bit of this.”

“I want to talk about this.”

“Cordelia, don’t bother him now. Concentrate on getting better.”

“Fine, but I’m not happy about this.”

Dr. Jackson nodded and left the room. Jeremiah knew it wouldn’t be long before Cordelia started questioning him about what he knew, but he swore that she wouldn’t hear anything him to Dr. Jackson. Much to his surprise she snuggled up to him and sighed contentedly. He tried to pull her closer, but she was as close to him and she could get. 

“You’re so nice and warm. Why are you so warm and I’m so cold?”

“Because you’re sick, Cordelia. Let’s go ahead and get you completely covered up. You need to stay warm to get better.”

He started pulling the sheets up around her neck and ears.

“Just who is the doctor here, you or me? You don’t need to tell me that I need to stay warm, Jeremiah.”

“I’m sorry, Cordelia. I don’t mean to doctor, but I’m afraid that while you’re father is out of the room you’ll ask me about the conversation we were having and I don’t want to talk about that because I promised your father I wouldn’t say a thing to you about it.”

“He’s going to send me to medical school early, isn’t he?”

Jeremiah sighed. He wanted to change the subject, but he couldn’t ignore her questions.

“Yes. That’s his plan.”

“What’s going to happen to you? Is he going to turn you over to the army?”

“No, he is going to help me find my brother’s body and take it home to Mississippi for burial on the family plot. I don’t know how exactly he’s going to do it, but he’s going to do it.”

“So, you’re going to leave me soon.”

“No. Not soon. I’m going to try to put it off for as long as I possibly can. Although, I’m guessing there probably isn’t going to be a whole lot of time before the ground is going to get too hard to dig in and then I’ll have to wait until the spring thaw to retrieve his body.”

“Father won’t let you stay that long if he already has it in his head that you need to leave. I wouldn’t be surprised if he isn’t contacting people he knows to get your brother found and dug up. What story is he going to use to explain your presence here?”

“That our families are old friends and I was sent to contact him to see if he could help locate Richard so I can take him home. I don’t know if anyone will believe it, but he’s going to try it.”

“I don’t want you to leave, ever.”

“I know. I don’t either, Cordelia, but we can’t go against his wishes. He doesn’t want us together and that’s the end of the story.”

“No it isn’t. He and your mother eloped, child.”

Jeremiah and Cordelia both turned to the doorway where Mrs. Taylor stood with a tray holding a bowl of broth and a fresh pitcher of water.

“What are you talking about, Mrs. Taylor? I thought Mother chose Father over someone else and that was the end of the story.”

“No, she chose him and they eloped. He came to her house with a ladder and she shimmied out the window and down the ladder and when they showed up again, they had a marriage license in hand. No one could object to their marriage after that.”

Jeremiah just stared at Mrs. Taylor as she carried the tray over to the table he had set the basin on the night before to set the tray down on.

“You aren’t suggesting that we-“

“I’m not suggesting anything, Mr. Tate. I’m only filling in the facts on why he is against you two being together.”

“Shouldn’t it have been a fairly easy thing for Mother’s parents to have the marriage annulled and force her to marry as they saw fit?”

“Child, that is one of the most ridiculous things I have ever heard come out of your mouth. Yes, they could have done that, but there was a more complicated problem keeping them from doing such a thing.”

“What was the problem?”

“You, child. Your mother was pregnant when they came back to town. Your grandparents couldn’t have a bastard child as a grandchild, so they welcomed them back home. The other fella never forgave your mother for leaving him looking like a fool for pining for someone who didn’t love him. He thought if she would marry him, he could make her love him.”

“What happened to him?”

“He eventually married and had a large family and took great pleasure every time his wife went into labor with another child and had to call on your father to tend to her.”

“So he had a happy ending.”

“Yes, but you father didn’t, or so he thinks. He doesn’t want you to experience the same heartache he has over his choices in love.”

“Well, I am not my father or my mother. I don’t have two men competing for my hand. I have Jeremiah who loves me and I love him. I just don’t understand.”

“Child, concentrate on getting better so you have the strength to fight him. Right now, is not the time to worry about your father has planned or thinks he has planned for your future.”

“Mrs. Taylor, aren’t you worried Dr. Jackson will hear what you’re telling us? He probably wouldn’t be happy knowing you’ve told us about the eloping and whatnot.”

“He left out the front door as I was walking up the stairs. He muttered something about making arrangements to have a body disinterred on the battlefield.”

Cordelia wrapped her arms around him tighter. Jeremiah couldn’t help the tears that sprang to his eyes. He couldn’t understand when he became such a crier, but it was starting to be a bit annoying.

“He’s going to find someone who can help you get your brother home. He can’t send you away so soon.”

“Child, it’s going to take some time to figure out where Mr. Tate’s brother is buried and get all the right paperwork together to let him travel south with it. He won’t be leaving anytime soon.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure, Mrs. Taylor. He was fairly adamant earlier that I leave as soon it was humanly possible to do so.”

“Maybe, but I think Cordelia is going to just take some time to heal up. Aren’t you child?”

Jeremiah grinned. Mrs. Taylor was a bit devious and he hoped that this wasn’t a one time thing. He knew they were going to need her help at every turn if they were going to change Dr. Jackson’s mind about their whole situation.

“I think you’re right, Mrs. Taylor. It might a week or three before I have to strength to be out of bed. I just don’t know how long it’ll be.”

“Good. Now, you get some rest after you get this broth into you. I don’t want your father thinking that I ignored his order that you were to drink all of this broth before you could go back to sleep.”

“Are you going to stay and make sure I drink it?”

Mrs. Taylor winked at him.

“I think I can trust Mr. Tate to make sure you drink every last drop before you get comfortable and go back to sleep.”

“Yes, ma’am. I think I can handle that just fine.”

“Good. I’m going to go downstairs and see what I can get thrown together for lunch. I imagine you’ll be mighty hungry by the time you’re ready for lunch since Dr. Jackson interrupted your breakfast.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Taylor.”

She turned and nodded at them before waddling out the door and down the stairs.

“It’s good that she’s on our side. Father usually defers to her. Knowing she wants us together is a very good thing for us.”

“Cordelia, you need to drink the broth before you start rambling. I don’t want her to think I’m not worthy enough to take care of you.”

“Fine. I’ll drink it willingly.”

He picked up the mug it had been poured into and helped her bring it to her lips. He didn’t take his hand away even when she tried to swat his hand away. All he could see was her dropping the mug and spilling it all over the sheets as she had done to him on his first morning awake. The thought made him smile. 

“What are you grinning about?”

“My first morning awake. I don’t think wearing broth is very pleasant. I was hoping that we wouldn’t have a repeat of that.”

“I still say I tripped and it was a complete accident.”

“I know you do. I don’t know if I believe it at all, but I know that’s what you say.”

“Hush and help me drink it, please.”

“My pleasure.”

Once she was done with her broth, she snuggled up to him, which was a bit of a surprise. He was sure she would want to talk more about everything. She yawned and he pulled the covers back up over her neck and ears.

“Sleep, Cordelia. I’m not going anywhere yet.”

“I know you aren’t and I hope we can find a way to keep you from leaving ever.”

“I know. Sleep.”

He placed a kiss on the top of her head and pulled her close to get comfortable and settled in for a quiet afternoon.


	19. Chapter 19

When she woke up Jeremiah was still with her and it was dark. She felt like she had taken a bad tumble down the stairs repeatedly, which she felt was an improvement to how she felt when she woke up to her father and Jeremiah arguing. Hearing that had been a shock. Not just that they had been arguing but arguing over her and her future when no one had bothered to ask her what she wanted. Did they not care?

She knew her father might say he cared, but he had a plan in place for her. She had known that for a while which was why he never worried about how she had no friends or any suitors calling on her. Jeremiah, on the other hand, appeared to want her to have a say in what happened to her in life. He was hoping that he would be part of that future, but he cared about what she wanted and that meant the most to her. 

As soon as her father walked through the door, she was going to demand that they talk then and there. Yes, Mrs. Taylor and Jeremiah had a plan to keep Jeremiah there as long as possible, but that wasn’t going to mean a thing if she didn’t hear from her father’s mouth herself what he intended her to do with her life so she could make appropriate plans to counteract everything he thought she was going to do. Yes, she had spent her entire life doing exactly what he wanted her to do, but that was coming to a halt. Her parents had eloped. She wouldn’t object to doing that very thing to get what she wanted in life. And if she had to be pregnant to be accepted back in her father’s home, then so be it. She was willing to risk life and limb to be with Jeremiah.

“You should still be asleep, Cordelia. I don’t want your father upset with me for letting you spend as much time awake as you have when you should be sleeping.”

“You have no control over when I sleep. Besides, my stomach is hungry. I need some food. Not broth. I’ll eat soup if I need to do so, but I don’t want just plain broth.”

“I’m not sure your father will agree to that.”

“Is he home from whatever he left to do this morning?”

“He has come in to check on you more than once. He doesn’t like me sitting behind you to keep your head elevated, but you haven’t had a coughing fit since I started doing this.”

“Perhaps you should be attending medical school, Jeremiah. I’m sure you’d make an excellent doctor too. Could you imagine it? The two of us running a clinic together.”

“I don’t have the gift you do to heal others.”

“You have great instinct.”

“Maybe, but I’ve never been a very good student. I can’t memorize anything. It was a failing in school. It’s why I’m meant to be a farmer. I don’t have your brains, Cordelia.”

“Nonsense. Maybe you could be my nurse.”

Jeremiah threw his head back and laughed. Cordelia giggled knowing that she had made him laugh so hard even though she was only half joking.

“I don’t think I would make a good nurse. Perhaps I could help you decide which patients are more sick to be seen first, but that’s about all I could ever be good for in a doctor’s office.”

“It doesn’t matter anyway. Wouldn’t you want me to be a housewife, homemaker and mother?”

“Cordelia, I want you to be whatever it is in your heart to be. If that’s what you want, I would be okay with it, but I would always wonder in your heart of hearts if you don’t really want more from life. Don’t you want to be a practicing doctor?”

“I’ve thought that every day of my life watching my father work with people, but lately, I don’t know, I’ve been thinking that maybe I’d be content with anything as long as you are with me.”

“And if you could be a doctor and be with me?”

“It would be an absolutely perfect life in my eyes.”

“Good because if I have any say in it that is the life you’ll get.”

“No upstanding town is going to want a woman doctor. It’s a silly dream.”

“What if there was a way that no one mind because they’ll just be thankful for a doctor in town?”

“And how exactly do we find a place like that?”

“Travel west.”

Cordelia froze. Leave her father? Leave Mrs. Taylor? She was counting on Mrs. Taylor helping her at least getting housekeeping set up and find her a decent cook since she had proven such a failure at making food that was edible. Moving away meant that they would be dependent on her skills at home. Other than being semi-decent at knitting, she didn’t have much in the way of skills. 

“Jeremiah, you can’t be serious. Travel west? Away from my father, Mrs. Taylor and your family? We’d have to be crazy to do such a thing.”

“Fine, let’s be crazy then. As soon as you’re up and around we start traveling west and along the way see if we can find someone to legally marry us. If we return for a visit with a grandchild or three your father won’t turn us away. At least, he doesn’t strike me as the type of person who would turn away grandchildren.”

“No, he wouldn’t turn us away, but I don’t know if I could leave him. He’d be lost.”

“Mrs. Taylor will continue doing as she’s done for him since she came to work for him. He wouldn’t starve.”

“I know, but he’s already lost my mother. I just couldn’t disappear on him like that and leave him wondering what I was doing and where I ended up. It wouldn’t be fair to him.”

“And he’s being fair to you? Cordelia, sometimes you have to fight a little dirty to get what you want.”

“Fight dirty? Is that how the Confederates have been getting such decisive victories?”

She felt his chest muscles constrict under her head as he let go of her. She hadn’t really tempted to make him mad before, but she wasn’t going to back down now that the words were out of her mouth.

“You think that the only way we could win a battle was to fight dirty?”

She sighed. She didn’t want to fight with him. She wanted to fight with her father and she was taking it out on him. 

“I”m sorry, Jeremiah. I didn’t mean that. I’m just mad at Father and I’m taking it out on you. Please relax and don’t get mad at me.”

His arms closed around her again.

“I know you wouldn’t mean something like that. I’m sorry I took such quick offense to it knowing what has to be going through your head because of your father.”

“Maybe you’re right about fighting dirty. Maybe if we would elope and go away for a while, he’d have time to cool down and we could have a practice together while you worked some land or whatever it is in your heart to do.”

“Let’s get past you being sick before we make definite plans, but I have an idea.”

“That’s wonderful, but do you think we can get some food in here? I’m going on very little for the past day and a half.”

“Will you be okay if I go downstairs and get something from Mrs. Taylor?”

“Yes. I’m sure I can survive you leaving for a bit.”

He carefully extracted himself without making her move much at all. She didn’t know how he did it, but he had apparently had practice at it. She watched him walk out the door and found herself marveling at how nice it felt to have him pull her close to him.

Talk of leaving and going west made her nervous. She felt confident that she would be able to do a good job as a doctor out on her own, but she knew that medical school would help her. Her father had taught her a lot, but a degree from a college would help her be accepted, she felt. She had no confidence in her skills was her biggest concern. She had hoped to attend medical school as her father wanted her to do, come back and work with him for a while to gain confidence in her skills and then maybe consider moving west or at least leaving Gettysburg to start her own practice. 

Although he hadn’t come right out with his plan, Cordelia felt she knew what he was going to suggest they do. She was fine with eloping, but the rest of it made her nervous. Her mother died in childbirth, so Jeremiah’s suggestion that her father wouldn’t turn away a grandchild or three. The thought of getting pregnant and giving birth and all just didn’t appeal to her at all. The better solution was to change her father’s mind; a task that wasn’t going to be easy at all. 

Then a thought hit her. Maybe if her father saw how well Jeremiah nursed her back to health, he would change his mind about his plans for her. He couldn’t deny Jeremiah had proven his worth if he sacrificed so much of himself to help her. It was a grand plan in theory. She knew were her stubbornness came from, so she wasn’t overly optimistic with that plan. It was what she had to hold onto to keep from having to leave her father.

“You make sure she eats every last bite!” Mrs. Taylor’s voice carried up the stairs.

“Yes, ma’am! I will do that very thing!” Jeremiah called back down before coming up the short hallway to her bedroom.

“She’s still worried that you won’t know what to do with me and a bowl of soup?”

“She’s worried your father will catch on to you remaining sick for longer than you should wanting you to be seen by someone in the army or something ridiculous that would put me right into the midst of the Union army and heading to a POW camp. The way your father was smiling as I poked my head into his office to say good evening and that there was hot soup on the stove makes me think that I will have to worry less about the Union army and more about how fast he is going to have Richard’s body found to get me away from you as soon as possible.”

“He can’t do that.”

“Cordelia, calm down, love. Eat this soup so I can go tell your father that you’re ready for him to check on you again. He wanted you to eat if you were hungry before he comes up here again.”

“Mrs. Taylor makes the best soup.”

“If this bowl is any indication of what she can create, I imagine so because this smells wonderful.”

Cordelia smiled as Jeremiah fumbled with the spoon as he tried to make sure every bite had the right mix of vegetables and meat and broth. He was being so careful and so cute, she couldn’t help but be entertained by it all. Once they were to the bottom of the bowl, he handed her the bowl to drink the rest of the broth down. Her tummy was full. She still felt horrid, but Jeremiah’s presence made her feel better. For the first time she understood why he wanted her with him for his nightmares.


	20. Chapter 20

A week later Cordelia was finally up and around some. To Jeremiah’s surprise Dr. Jackson didn’t push her too hard to be up and walking around. Jeremiah was very glad for that. If Dr. Jackson suspected that she faking anything, he didn’t let on to that fact at all. Mrs. Taylor had been guiding them as to how fast she should be up and around to keep things moving and Dr. Jackson happy but allow them time to come up with a workable plan for the both of them to keep Jeremiah and Cordelia together. 

Even a week wasn’t long enough for them to come up with something. That failing came crashing down on them when Dr. Jackson walked into the kitchen with a spring in his step and song on his lips. It was a shock to everyone in the kitchen. None of them had ever seen him that good a mood before. 

“You’re in a good mood today, Dr. Jackson.”

“Yes I am, Mrs. Taylor. I think that things around here are going to be changing for the better.”

“Father, what are you talking about? Things have been fine here. I’m finally feeling better and am up and around. I can walk up and down the steps on my own. Now maybe we can finally see to Jeremiah’s walking problem.”

“He’s going to have to find someone back home who can see to that for him.”

Three pairs of eyes bored into Dr. Jackson. Jeremiah was afraid to speak, knowing that he would probably say something he’d regret later.

“What have you done, Oliver Jackson?”

Everyone turned their attention to Mrs. Taylor. Never had anyone in that house heard her called Dr. Jackson by his first name.

“Well, Louisa, I have been working to find the body of one Richard Tate. Luckily he had a slip of paper in his pocket much like the one Jeremiah had, so it was easy to identify him when he was found. It’s been nasty work, but I convinced several friends with connections in the army to help secure permission for us to find Richard’s body and allow Jeremiah to leave town with it without any interference from anyone.”

“You found Richard?”

Jeremiah was glad they were sure they found Richard. He wasn’t relishing the idea of having to identify the body. Based on how he remembered Richard looking shortly after he fell, it probably wouldn’t have been possible. 

“Yes, we did. Thomas will be arriving shortly with a horse and wagon I have procured to help you get him home to your family.”

“You can’t send Jeremiah away today. I still need him.”

“I’m sorry, Delia. We don’t have any choice. I was amazed they found him so soon. They’re trying to get the battlefield in order for the dedication in November. They worked fast.”

“No. I won’t let you send him away yet.”

“You have no say in the matter. I know I’ve indulged you for far too long. You’re too headstrong and stubborn and that isn’t appropriate for a young lady to behave. Come January we are packing you up and taking you to Philadelphia to start medical school.”

“Is this what you two were arguing about while I was sick?”

“Yes,” Jeremiah answered.

“And you didn’t bother mentioning it to me? That my father intended to send me to school half a year earlier than he promised me he would?”

“I promised him that you wouldn’t hear it from me. I had no choice but to say nothing.”

“You know, sometimes gentleman sensibilities don’t help the situation at all.”

Cordelia tried to get up from the table and stomp her way upstairs, but Dr. Jackson blocked her way out of the kitchen.

“Please sit down, Cordelia. You don’t need to exert yourself so and make yourself sick again. You can’t afford a relapse.”

“You can’t send him away yet.”

“Yes, I can and I will.”

And then Cordelia did something that even caught Jeremiah off guard; she fainted dead away. Even thought he wasn’t expecting it, Jeremiah managed to catch her before she hit the floor.

“Are you happy now?”

Jeremiah brushed past him to take her upstairs. As soon as he got her tucked back into bed, her eyes popped open making him jump back.

“Do you think it worked?”

Jeremiah just stared at her for a minute before a grin cracked his face and then he started laughing. 

“If you were trying to scare your father, yes I believe it might have worked.”

“I’m trying to get him to not send you away today. Doesn’t he realize we at least need time to say goodbye?”

“We wouldn’t have to say goodbye if we had come up with a workable plan.”

“I have one, Jeremiah.”

“Something we haven’t thought about already? I thought we had exhausted all our options? Unless you’re back to eloping which would require us to be away from your father for a while.”

“No, I’m not back to eloping again. I’m about to suggest something so scandalous that you might want to turn around, go back downstairs and anxiously await the wagon, horse and pine box.”

Jeremiah’s mind raced. Something told him that he wasn’t sure he wanted to know what she was thinking. He took a deep breath.

“Okay. What do you propose we do that is so scandalous?”

“Jeremiah? Is she okay? Do I hear her talking?”

Dr. Jackson’s heavy footfalls fell on the stairs. Cordelia laid back down and acted like she was still feeling quite ill.

“Yes, she just tried to do too much too soon, I’m afraid, Dr. Jackson.”

Dr Jackson entered the room and looked back and forth between Jeremiah and Cordelia. Jeremiah gave Cordelia credit. She did look as if she was on the brink of relapse. If she couldn’t make it as a doctor, he felt she could have a solid career on the stage acting.

“I’m fine, Father. It’s just the stress of finding out that you’re sending Jeremiah away without any warning. I’m afraid I just couldn’t stand it.”

Dr. Jackson sat down on the edge of the bed and Jeremiah stepped away to watch a master manipulator at work. He hugged Cordelia to his chest and smoothed down her hair.

“I’m sorry, Delia. I didn’t think that him leaving would hurt you this much. I’ll go make arrangements for them to keep Richard’s body for another day. Will a day be long enough for you to say goodbye?”

Cordelia nodded against her father’s chest.

“At least another day, Father. I think we’ll be ready to say our goodbyes tomorrow.”

Dr. Jackson kissed her on her forehead and placed her back on her pillow. 

“Good. Now, I’ll have Mrs. Taylor send up a tray of food for you. You’re going to need to work to get your strength back.”

“Yes, Father.”

Dr. Jackson stood to leave but not before giving Jeremiah what he assumed was a look of warning. He stood in the spot he was frozen to until they heard Dr. Jackson leave out the front door. Cordelia sat back up and smiled at him.

“Good. That gives us time to make plans for the scandalous idea I have.”

“Cordelia, I’m not sure I want to hear what your scandalous idea is. I don’t think there is anything that would change your father’s mind about us.”

“Even if we allowed him to find us in bed together?”

Jeremiah’s knees buckled and he fell to the floor. Cordelia jumped out of bed to race to his side. He knew he was fine. The shock at what she suggested was too much for him.

“Cordelia, we can’t. Do you want your reputation ruined simply because we’re trying to stop your father from sending me away?”

“If it means I get to be with you, my reputation doesn’t mean anything at all.”

Jeremiah looked at her and blinked a couple of time like he had never seen her before. He couldn’t believe he was hearing what he was hearing from her. Reputation didn’t mean anything? That just didn’t make any sense in his head. What woman didn’t treasure her reputation as much as her virginity? He knew there were women who didn’t treasure either, but they usually were found in whorehouses. He was plenty sure Cordelia would never set foot in such an establishment. 

“I don’t think I can let you ruin your reputation like that. You have to think that not only would it ruin you, but I wouldn’t exactly be held in high regards anywhere. Our children would be shamed. Cordelia, we can’t.”

“Aren’t we to desperate times with this? It doesn’t mean anything has to happen. It can and will be completely innocent like when you had a nightmare. We just wouldn’t be as careful about Father not finding us as we were that day.”

“But-“

“There is no other way. If we don’t do something, he is going to send you home tomorrow with your brother’s body and we will probably never see each other again, ever. I don’t know how you feel, but I do not like that thought at all. I love you, Jeremiah and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I don’t care how it happens.”

“Cordelia, be reasonable, love. I love you too, but I just can’t do that.”

“Yes, you can. Please, Jeremiah? I can’t stand the thought of you going away.”

Jeremiah sighed.

“I want to say no, but I can’t say no to you. Why can’t I say no to you?”

Cordelia cupped his face in her hands and pulled him to her for a gentle kiss.

“Because you know I’m right.”

“You are going to be the death of me.”

He kissed her again, leaving gentleness behind, claiming her lips as if he had every right to them.

“I hope you feel that’s a good thing.”

“I would die happy and that’s all that would matter.”

“Good.”


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reading through this, I realized there is some modern slang in it. That's what happens when you're trying to get out 50,000 words in 30 days. Sorry if it throws anyone out of the story. Things to edit, I guess. :-)

After dinner, Cordelia sat in her room knitting. She would have preferred to read a book, but she decided to make her father a hat for Christmas. It hadn’t taken Mrs. Taylor long to find them kissing in her room that morning. Although she didn’t scold them, Cordelia could tell that she really wanted to do so. Instead she pursed her lips and told them she had brought them some more food and they might want to get up off the floor to enjoy it. She set the tray on the bedside table and left, but not before she gave them both a strong stare followed by a broad smile. Cordelia felt Mrs. Taylor knew what they might be planning. There was a knock on her bedroom door making her jump.

“Come in.”

She smiled when Jeremiah stepped through the door.

“I come to bid you goodnight, Cordelia.”

“Going to bed already, Jeremiah?”

“I haven’t slept as much over the past week as you have. I’ve been too busy being worried out of my mind over your health.”

“You were an excellent nurse. I would not hesitate to hire you if would come looking for a job.”

“Thank you. I will keep that in mind.”

Cordelia felt stiff and silly having such a simple conversation with him knowing what they were planning later. After the kissing, she started to think that maybe keeping their plan to the innocent wasn’t as good a idea. Who was to say that going further wouldn’t be more likely to make her father insist they marry. 

“Goodnight then, Jeremiah. Pleasant dreams.”

“Goodnight, Cordelia. Pleasant dreams to you.”

She smiled at him as he walked over and placed a chaste kiss on her cheek.

“Until later,” he whispered to her before turning on his heel and leaving her room.

They worked on their plan until her father returned home an informed them that keeping Richard’s body wherever it was wouldn’t be a hardship on anyone. For claiming that so many people in town hated them, he sure seemed to be able to get people to do whatever they asked of him. Sometimes Cordelia wondered if that wasn’t an act to keep her sheltered away from the world where anyone at any time could take her away from him.

After Jeremiah shut his bedroom door, her father appeared in her doorway.

“You both seem to be taking his last night here very well.”

“Yes, Father. No point in fighting when you’ve made up your mind.”

He raised an eyebrow at her. She knew she didn’t sound like herself, but she really didn’t want to get into another argument with him. He wasn’t going to change his mind and she wasn’t going to change her mind. It was a stalemate until someone made a different move. She had the right kind of move in mind, she hoped.

“That’s very mature thinking. I’m impressed.”

“So, he’s going home. He’ll need to bring the wagon and horse back to their owners right?”

“He will be the owner. I bought them specifically to take them back to Mississippi.”

“Oh. You might want to tell him that so he won’t try to bring them back.”

“I will. Why am I suspicious suddenly? You’re being entirely too calm.”

“No, we’ve just accepted that your word is law and that’s the end of it.”

“So, no big scene when he leaves tomorrow?”

“There might be a scene, but it will more than likely involve me doing a lot of crying because he’s going away. While that’s going on, I’ll also probably be crying about being sent to Philadelphia. Unless you expect me to not be upset about that as well.”

“Why would you be upset? You knew it was going to happen sooner or later.”

“Yes, but I thought it would happen later. You said you would wait until I was at least 17. That doesn’t happen until nearly a year from now. Why the hurry to send me away?”

“I’m not in a hurry to send you away. I just think that it’s time for you to go out into the world and meet other people and get your life started.”

“Meet other people. You mean meet men who aren’t Jeremiah, don’t you?”

“Cordelia-“

“You don’t have to say anything, Father. I’ve stopped questioning everything you’re doing.” She exaggerated a yawn. “Goodnight, Father. I think I need to be heading to bed now.”

“Goodnight, Cordelia.”

He reluctantly left her room. Cordelia could tell that he suspected something, even if he didn’t know what he suspected. She was almost tempted to go see if he had barred Jeremiah’s door or something. Would he suspect that they were going to do what they were going to do? Or did he suspect that they might try what he and her mother had done to be together? Just the fact that he thought they were up to something made her uncomfortable and worried that everything was going to blow up in their faces. 

Since she had bid her father a goodnight, she decided that maybe she should put her knitting away and go to bed. She wasn’t going to sleep with her nerves on edge, but she thought she might as well attempt to sleep. She turned off her oil burning lamp and crawled between the covers and waited. She wasn’t sure what she was waiting for, but she waited.

She must have dozed off when a noise roused her from a dead sleep. She got out of bed and slipped her slippers onto her feet. It was a noise she had heard before, though not enough to recognize it when she was only half awake. Then it dawned on her why it was familiar; it the sound of Jeremiah having one of his nightmares. She tiptoed to his room and opened the door. He was in bed fighting off invisible foes while he tangled himself in the sheets. She sat down on the edge of his bed and began to caress his face.

“Jeremiah. Jeremiah. Wake up, love. You’re having the nightmare again.”

It was a few moments longer when his eyes shot open and fixed on her. She began to untangle his arms and legs from the sheets. By the time she was done with that, he was fully awake and had pulled her into his arms for a crushing hug.

“Oh, Cordelia. What am I going to do when you aren’t around anymore to save me from that nightmare?”

“What are you talking about, Jeremiah? Don’t you remember our plan to make Father force us to marry?”

“I do remember the plan, but I’m thinking that he won’t allow it no matter what we do.”

“We have to try. We can’t just give up.”

“If it means getting to sleep with you folded safely in my arms to drive away the nightmares, I’m willing to try anything.”

She gently pushed herself away from him and took his hand to pull him out of bed. 

“Then come with me. To my bed. Right now.”

He followed where she led him.

“Cordelia, you sound like you have something else in mind completely.”

“I might.”

She sat down on the bed and then scooted herself to the middle of it while Jeremiah stood over her, staring at her.

“You can’t mean-“

“I do. I really do. Please? It’s the only way to guarantee that he’ll take us seriously.”

Jeremiah ran his hands through his hair before sitting down hard on the edge of the bed. He let out a deep breath.

“We can’t. I don’t care what you think it will accomplish. I will compromise your reputation since it doesn’t mean much to you, but I won’t compromise your virtue. It just can’t happen like this, Cordelia.”

“But, Jeremiah-“

“No. I’ll let him find you sleeping in my arms, but I won’t go that far.”

Cordelia sighed. She knew she couldn’t force him to do something he didn’t want to do. She’d take what she could get from him. If completely innocent but completely scandalous was all he was willing to do, it was what she was willing to take. She scooted over to the other side of the bed and patted the side he had slept on before.

“Why don’t you join me?”

“No more talk of, of what you were suggesting?”

“No. No more talk of what I was suggesting. Just crawl into bed, take me into your arms and try to figure out a way to get my father to come in here.”

He gave her a small smile and finally laid down next to her. He pulled the covers up over them and pulled her into his arms. She snuggled up to his chest and reveled in the feel of having him close to her. It soothed something in her that she couldn’t put a name to. All she knew was that she never wanted to spend another night without him. She never wanted to spend another day without him either, but this was the best part of him being so close to her. 

She listened to his heart beat its slow, methodic rhythm. It could lull her to sleep. It very nearly did until she noticed that the rate had picked up. It wasn’t erratic yet, but it was definitely beating faster. She wondered if something was wrong with him or what was going on. When his lips found hers, she knew why his heart had started beating faster. Hers did the same as her hands could no longer be controlled. 

It didn’t take long until she found herself unbuttoning his shirt. The feel of his skin against her hands made ideas pop into her head that she knew a proper young lady shouldn’t be having, but she was tired of being a proper young lady if it meant that she could have Jeremiah in her life permanently.

“Cordelia Rose Jackson!”

All thoughts that had been running through her mind came to a screeching halt. Her first impulse was to push Jeremiah away, but she wanted to show her father that she didn’t feel guilty about any of it. He could think what he wanted, but she wanted him to know what he had driven them to do.

“Father. Did we wake you?”

She had never seen her father’s temper before. That question was enough to bring it out, she could immediately see. 

“Wake me? Wake me? No, actually, you didn’t wake me. I’ve been suspecting something all night. I just didn’t know what to expect. Not true. I thought maybe there would be ladders and escaping out the window like my Dahlia and I did, but this is complete surprise. What do you have to say for yourself?”

“I’m not going to apologize.”

“How did he talk you into this?”

Cordelia tried to push Jeremiah away and sit up to argue with her father, but Jeremiah wouldn’t release the hold he had on her.

“He didn’t talk me into this at all. This was my idea, my doing. Don’t get mad at Jeremiah for this.”

“Your idea? I never imagined that you would be the one to suggest something like this.”

“Desperate times call for desperate measures. You made us desperate, Father.”

He took a deep breath and started pacing. The fact that he wasn’t yelling worried Cordelia. She had never seen her father that angry, but she always imagined there would be lots of yelling. There wasn’t. There was only silence. As suddenly as he started pacing her stopped.

“Did he tell you about Abigail?”

At the name Abigail, Jeremiah let go of her. He didn’t push her away, but he let go and waited.

“Who is Abigail?”

“Do you want to tell her or shall I?”

Jeremiah hadn’t pushed her away, but she suddenly felt like she needed to push him away. She pushed him away from her and scooted herself across the bed. Once to the edge, she got off the bed and walked backwards until she found her chair, which she sat down hard in.

“Who is Abigail, Jeremiah? And, why does my father know who she is?”

She heard Jeremiah sigh in the dark while her father came to stand next to her chair. She knew that couldn’t be a good thing.

“Abigail is my fiancee back home.”

“Your, your fiancee? You have a fiancee and you didn’t think that important enough to mention to me? Especially once I started spouting words of love and talking about marriage and the kisses? Where you thinking about her whenever your put your lips on mine?”

As she talked, she got out of the chair and slowly started towards the bed, using her arms and hands to punctuate her words. Jeremiah sat up on the bed and took every word she had to say to him. He wouldn’t look at her, but he did stay and take her anger.

“No, I only thought about her whenever I was alone and wishing you were with me. I know she hasn’t been faithful to me. She was always a bit of a flirt.”

“But the engagement has never been broken off?”

“No, it hasn’t.”

“Didn’t most soldiers who had fiancees marry before they left for the war? I don’t understand why you wouldn’t marry her before you left?”

“She wouldn’t marry me before I left for war. She felt I’d probably get killed and leave her a widow. As a widow she wouldn’t have much fun, so she refused to marry me until I returned.”

Cordelia could feel the tears welling in her eyes. She wasn’t an emotional woman, but apparently finding out the man you’re in love with has promised his life-long commitment to someone else. 

“Get out of my room, Jeremiah Tate. I never want to see you again.”

“Cordelia, wait. I’m sorry I didn’t tell-“

“She said get out, Jeremiah. I would do as she asks unless you would like to see inside a Union POW camp instead of peacefully returning home with your brother’s body.”

“Cordelia, please, hear me out.”

“Get out, Jeremiah. You aren’t the man I thought you were.”

He hung his head and walked out of her room, as requested. Cordelia thought that she’d collapse in an emotional heap, but she managed to stay standing. Her father put his arm around her shoulder.

“I’m sorry you had to find out like that, Delia. He is the worst sort of cad there is, I’m afraid.”

“I’m sorry about what I just did to try to defy you. What will people think of me for this?”

“No one has to know, sweetheart. Jeremiah will leave town tomorrow as early as I can force him out the door. I won’t tell anyone this story. You won’t tell anyone this story. Who will find out what happened? No one, that’s who.” He kissed her forehead. “Now, you crawl back into bed. I’ll make sure that he doesn’t bother you ever again.”

“Thank you, Father. I’m suddenly very tired. I don’t know why, but I am.”

“Well, you’re still recovering from influenza and you just found out the man you thought you loved is a cad. It’s going to drain you emotionally.”

“I guess. I just want to sleep and sleep and wake up and not find him in this house anymore.”

“That we can do. You lay down and I’ll make sure he is gone before dawn tomorrow.”

“Thank you.” He tucked her into bed. “You know, I think I’m actually looking forward to starting medical school in January.”

“I’m very glad to hear that. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Father.”


	22. Chapter 22

It was still dark outside when there was heavy knocking on his door. Jeremiah opened one eye and looked around. He was in his own room, as he had been since Cordelia kicked him out of her room in the middle of the night. He was thankful for no more nightmares, but he was still upset that she wouldn’t listen to him about Abigail. He hoped he would be able to talk to her before he left despite her saying she didn’t ever want to see him again.

“Jeremiah. You have five minutes to get yourself dressed and downstairs for a quick breakfast. Thomas will be here with your horse and wagon as soon as the sun is up.”

“Yes, sir,” he replied, wishing he could sleep just a bit longer. 

He rolled out of bed and put on his boots before he did anything else. His days with shoddy ones taught him to appreciate everything he had. He wasn’t sure about the clothes and everything he had been given while he was there. Would Dr. Jackson let him keep them? Would he let him eventually pay for what they had done for him? It was the only thought keeping him from beating down Cordelia’s bedroom door. He would eventually have to come back if he was going to pay them for treating him.

Finally dressed, he left his room and looked at Cordelia’s closed door. Should he knock? Would she give him even a tiny chance to say anything? Would she at least let him say goodbye? He ultimately decided to go downstairs and hope that she would at least say goodbye to him.

When he entered the kitchen, he noticed Mrs. Taylor looked like she had been crying.

“Is everything okay, Mrs. Taylor?”

She stopped poking the bacon with a fork to look at him.

“Dr. Jackson told me you were leaving this morning. I don’t understand why.”

“I’ve been keeping a secret and it came out at the worst time possible.”

“What secret could you have that is so terrible, Mr. Tate.”

“I have a fiancee back home that I’m fairly certain hasn’t been faithful to me while I’ve been fighting. She wasn’t faithful when I was around. Why would she be faithful when I’m gone?”

“Mr. Tate, no wonder Dr. Jackson is dancing around and singing like he just heard the best news possible. Delia probably has said she never wants to see you again, hasn’t she?”

Tears pooled in his eyes. He tried to stop them, but it was no use. They fell without his leave.

“Yes, she has. I hate leaving like this. I want to at least tell her goodbye.”

“You sit down and eat some breakfast while I go talk to her.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Taylor.”

“Don’t go thanking me yet. I haven’t done anything.”

“You’re willing to talk to her for me. That’s more than anyone else has done.”

“Dr. Jackson is stubborn. You just sit down.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

He sat down to a plate piled high with scrambled eggs and bacon. He knew it would probably be the last decent meal he’d have for a while. He doubted they were even eating as good as that back home. 

Home. When he sighed up to fight, he never really thought he’d see it again. He didn’t know why, but he had felt from the beginning that the war would probably end his life. He realized that wasn’t far from the truth since not having Cordelia in his life would be the end of him. He didn’t want anyone else. He wanted her. Thanks to his mistake, she didn’t want him. He decided to focus on getting Richard’s body home before he did anything rash. He didn’t want to live without Cordelia with him.

He was just about finished when Mrs. Taylor came downstairs. Without a word to him, she returned to her position at the stove.

“Well?”

“She don’t want to see you, Mr. Tate. She doesn’t even want to say goodbye to you. I don’t understand her. Yesterday she couldn’t get enough of you and today she doesn’t anything to do with you. I just don’t understand it.”

“I do. Having a fiancee doesn’t seem to sit well with women you’ve also told you love. It makes sense. I don’t like that she won’t see me, but I understand it.”

“Good because it’s time for you to get going, Jeremiah. You’re no longer welcome here.”

Jeremiah got up and followed Dr. Jackson to the front door.

“What about payment for all you’ve done for me? Surely you’ll let me pay you.”

“No payment needed. Just go and never darken our doorway again.”

“But-“

“Go.”

Mrs. Taylor appeared with a rather large basket.

“I fixed some food to get you home, I hope. It should at least get you part way there.”

“You’ve already done so much for me. I can’t take the food.”

“Take the food, Jeremiah, and go.”

Knowing that he had stalled long enough and Cordelia was quite serious about not wanting to see him again, Jeremiah hopped up into the driver’s seat and took the reigns. He gave Dr. Jackson and Mrs. Taylor a small solute and got the horse moving. He knew he shouldn’t do it, but he looked back. He was immediately glad he did. Cordelia watched him leave through the upstairs window. She gave him a wave and a sad smile before stepping away from the window. 

Jeremiah felt like he had been stabbed through the heart. It was a pain he knew he’d never recover from. The pain from his battle wounds would subside over time. Even if they didn’t, they would never overshadow the pain of losing Cordelia in his life. All he wanted to do was turn around, bound up the stairs and make her listen to him. He knew that would be futile. He would have to be happy with getting to see her briefly before he rode out of town with a basket of Mrs. Taylor’s fabulous food and the body of his brother. It’s wasn’t how he had imagined leaving when they were planning things the day before. Sometimes the fantasy is really the best you’re going to get. Reality is never quite as much fun.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a note, I know now that President Lincoln gave his Gettysburg Address in what is now the cemetery. For some reason when I wrote this, I got it in my head he did it on the battlefield. Visiting the site helped my understanding.

Jeremiah had been gone from her life for a month and Cordelia still missed him like she had never missed anyone else in her life. Yes, she had been angry when she found out about Abigail, but her anger wouldn’t let her at least say a real goodbye so she could move on with her life. Over the past days, as the buzz around town about President Lincoln himself coming to Gettysburg reached a fevered pitch, she realized that she didn’t care about Abigail. All she had to go on was Jeremiah’s word that he loved her. His love was gone and she missed it and him. Her regret sent her into a meek, depressive time that her father took as resignation to her fate to attend medical school.

She stood on the very ground where Jeremiah laid for days before her father found him, barely alive, waiting to hear the president. The gentleman who spoke before Lincoln, while very good at speaking, couldn’t hold her attention. She didn’t want to hear him. He wasn’t interesting enough to keep her thoughts away from Jeremiah and whether he made it home safely with his brother’s body. She hoped he might send a telegram or something to let her know he had made it safely, but there had been silence from him. She didn’t blame him. She blamed herself for being too hot-tempered.

A hush fell over the crowd as President Lincoln got up to speak. She wasn’t sure what she expected him to look like. He was extremely tall, but he looked tired to her. The more she thought about it, the more it made sense. The fate of the country to remain one country rested on the outcome of the war. Listening to the different men talk who knew, Gettysburg had helped preserve the Union. If the army had lost, the Confederate army would have been free to march on Washington DC. Who knew a battle in such a small town could be so important to preserving the country as it should be?

Cordelia listened intently to the president speak. When his speech was over in two minutes, she was in shock. He was eloquent. He held the attention of the crowd without trying. She found herself applauding as loudly as she could without appearing to be unladylike. She hoped to shake his hand. She wanted desperately to shake his hand and look into his eyes. She wanted to see the hope she and everyone around her felt about the news reaching them about the war. It was not to be as she was standing too far back in the crowd. She wanted to push herself forward, but her father held her back.

“Father, I want to meet him.”

“Cordelia, you still aren’t completely well after the influenza. You need to go back home where it’s warm. I was obviously crazy to allow you to come out in this weather to hear this. I know it will be important someday to know you heard such a great man speak.”

“I want to see that he has hope for this war ending soon.”

“Why should that matter?”

She wouldn’t answer him. She didn’t want to mention Jeremiah’s name since he had outlawed it in the house, but she still had hope of seeing him again, even if she had to go to Mississippi to find him.

“I’m tried of hearing about the war all the time. The death and carnage makes me ill.”

“You’re going to be a doctor, Cordelia. You have to get used to that.”

“No, I don’t. I’ll specialize in childbirth or something. I don’t have to get used to death and carnage.”

“You’ll learn. School will be good for you.”

“If you think so, Father.”

And so Cordelia moved through the days, not really noticing what was going on around her. She grew more and more despondent when each day passed and she didn’t hear anything from Jeremiah. Even seeing how happy her father was when he unwrapped the hat she knitted for him for Christmas didn’t change her mood.

She had accepted that attending medical school wasn’t to be avoided. Even having Jeremiah return home couldn’t change her father’s mind about that. She accepted that she would go and learn and interact with men who weren’t Jeremiah. She wasn’t happy, but she accepted it.

The reality of it all hit her when she found herself in her new room of the boarding house. Mrs. Taylor had decided to stay in Gettysburg, so she didn’t even have a sympathetic face to tell her goodbye. She only had two trunks of clothes to bring with her. For some strange reason her father had insisted she have a few new dresses, but she refused to be fitted for them. She knew all he wanted was for her to catch an eligible man’s eye. If she happened to attract a doctor, all the better. He could help her father in his practice until he took it over completely. She knew this because he told her that’s what he wanted to happen.

Her father looked around her new room and nodded.

“I think you’ll be very comfortable here.”

“Yes, comfortable.”

“And happy. You’ll be happy here, Cordelia. You’ll see. You can start taking different lectures in a few days and you’ll get so absorbed in learning and meeting new people that you won’t even remember why you’ve been so melancholy lately.”

“You really think it’s going to be that easy to forget Jeremiah?”

“I thought you hated him and never wanted to see him again.”

“Yes, well, I said that out of anger. It just proves that love is stronger than anger.”

“You haven’t heard a word from him. If you meant that much to him, you would have received a telegram or something from him.”

“I don’t know why I haven’t heard from him, but I don’t care. It doesn’t change how I feel about him.”

“I just don’t want anything but good reports on the lectures you’re attending.”

“Yes, Father.”

He pulled her into his embrace and he kissed the top of her head.

“Goodbye, Cordelia.”

“Goodbye, Father.”

He left her standing in her new room. She looked around and realized that her life had spun dangerously out of control during the previous six months. She didn’t know what she wanted anymore except Jeremiah. Other than her initial anger at him, he had been the only constant in her feelings. She wanted to throw herself on her bed and have a good cry, but a knock on her door put a stop to that. She couldn’t figure her father had come right back to her room so soon. She took a deep breath and opened the door a crack.

“Can I help you?”

The young man on the other side of the door turned around and gave her a dazzling smile. She tried taking all of him in, but it was hard through the tiny crack in the door. Seeing others in the hallway and knowing she was probably safe with him, she opened the door all the way. The dazzling smile was only part of the handsome face, blue eyes, blond hair and broad shoulders. 

“Miss Cordelia?”

“Yes. How do you know who I am?”

“Your father stopped me downstairs, having recognized me as looking a lot like my father. He asked me if I would come up here and introduce myself to you.”

“My father knows your father?”

“Yes, they were childhood friends and both became doctors. It appears we are both following in our father’s footsteps.”

“Yes, apparently. But, who are you?”

“I’m sorry I’ve forgotten my manners at the sight of your beauty. I am Robert Hosterman, one your fellow classmates and son of one of your father’s oldest friends.”

She couldn’t help but return the smile he gave her. Perhaps being in school wouldn’t be quite as boring as she was afraid it was going to be.


	24. Chapter 24

Cordelia threw herself across her bed. Her first lecture couldn’t have gone worse if she had tried to make it worse. Yes, she was the only woman in the class and that meant that she had to work harder to prove herself, but she was the also the only one who had any actual experience with patients. By the time her third interruption to the reality versus what was being taught in that class happened, she knew her time in school should have been short lived. She should just give up the silly dream of completing medical school that her father insist she have and go back home. Her father would be disappointed, but she wouldn’t be feeling completely beaten down. There was a gentle knock on her door. She knew who it was, but she didn’t want to see anyone who had been in lecture that day.

“Go away, Mr. Hosterman. I don’t wish to be cheered up at all today.”

“Miss Cordelia, please let me in. It really wasn’t that bad. Being corrected by a woman was quite entertaining for the rest of us.”

“Yes because I’m here to entertain the men I’m in school with currently.”

“Cordelia, I promise it isn’t as bad as it seems to have been.”

“Go away, Robert. I’ll see you at dinner if I decide to come down for it.”

She heard him sigh, but his footfalls led him away from her door and down the stairs. She let the tears freely fall. She couldn’t figure out why her father wanted to humiliate her by sending her to medical school amongst young men who were members of families who were pillars of their community. She sat up. That’s why he sent her to school. She knew he wanted her to meet these young men. He wanted her to meet one, fall in love and get married. She finally reasoned that she could do worse than Robert Hosterman. He was at least intelligent and very reasonably good looking. He would at least be nice to spend time with until such time that she would be free to search for Jeremiah on her own.

She got up and wiped her eyes. She knew Robert wouldn’t be looking for her, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t find him. She made sure she didn’t look like she had been crying before she opened her door and made her way downstairs. She found Robert sitting alone in the sitting room of the boarding house. As soon as he saw her, he stood up.

“Miss Cordelia, I didn’t think you were joining us this afternoon.”

“I have changed my mind and think it would be nice to have company this afternoon instead of wallowing in self pity in my room.”

“Please, join me.”

“Thank you.”

She sat down in the chair he indicated. 

“Tea?”

“Yes, please.”

Cordelia watched as he poured her a cup of steaming tea. She had never really been a tea drinker, but if convention said she needed to drink it, she would. He handed her a cup and she took a sip. It wasn’t bad.

“I think the fact that you have hands on experience with patients is amazing. Instead of making fun what you know, the lecturers would do better to let you talk about those experiences.”

“I wish I felt as enthusiastic about what I know as you do. Granted, it’s nice to know things, but I’m afraid I’m going to make enemies of every lecturer on campus and become the laughing stock of the entire class. I don’t know if I can handle people thinking I’m bragging or being obnoxious because I know the books are wrong about some things.”

“I don’t think anyone would think you’re bragging or call you obnoxious. There are those of us who appreciate the knowledge of someone who has actually seen some of these things. I can’t wait until we to talk about battle wounds. With the war still going, there’s a lot of information coming to light on different treatments and how to keep the soldiers healthy.”

“Different treatments? Based on the piles of appendages my father reported seeing outside the surgical tents of the military hospitals, I’d say their treatment methods involved a lot of removing arms and legs that he been shot during the battle. To keep gangrene from setting in, decisions involving operating had to be made fairly quickly. To wait could mean certain death for the patient.”

“I hope you don’t mind me asking, but did you see a lot of injuries after the battle this summer?”

Cordelia smiled at him.

“Oh yes. There were a lot of injuries that my father and I treated in the days after the battle. We mostly saw minor wounds, but there were a lot of soldiers the military surgeon just didn’t have time for because they were relatively minor injuries.”

“So, you didn’t see any amputations yourself?”

“No, I did not. I got very good at sutures. There were a lot of flesh wounds to be treated. I definitely learned how to dose morphine and what signs to watch for to know whether I have too little, too much or just the right amount. By the end of those few days, I was pretty good with giving just the right amount.”

“Were any of the soldiers leery about being treated by a woman?”

Cordelia laughed and took a sip of tea.

“No. Most of them were just thankful that we had something to help the pain. Apparently in addition to having what was being considered non-life threatening injuries, they also were not given anything for the pain. Making sure the patient isn’t in pain helps them relax which makes the doctor’s job easier.”

He gave her the brilliant smile he gave her the day they met.

“That is good information to have, Miss Cordelia. I wonder if you would do me the honor of taking your dinner with me this evening.”

“I would be delighted, Mr. Hosterman.”

“Please, call me Robert. Answering to Mr. Hosterman feels so foreign to me.”

“Gladly, Robert, if you will call me Cordelia. The miss just adds too much to my name and it’s already long enough.”

She could see he was going to be a distraction, just as her father intended him to be, but he was a handsome distraction. She wouldn’t complain about that.

 

Jeremiah lost track of the days it took him to get home with that wagon and horse. The fact that he had a dead body in the back of the wagon made him thankful he seemed to be traveling with a head wind most of the time. Even the wind wanted to go north. It was where he wished he was, so he couldn’t exactly blame it.

The other good part about traveling with the body was that no one bothered him. All they had to do was catch a small whiff and they stayed clear. The only things not turned away by the smell were the vultures. After a time he wasn’t sure if the vultures circled hoping to snack on Richard or because he was dead and just didn’t know it yet.

When he reached land that looked familiar, he was sure he was dead. The land looked familiar, but had definitely been ravaged by war. The fields were empty. He knew his father was at home, so he was concerned why there was nothing growing in the fields. Then he noticed the family plot had grown by a few graves. He made his way to them, but was stopped by who he thought looked like his baby brother Ambrose.

“State your business.”

Jeremiah went to step off the wagon, but the rifle Ambrose held was then cocked.

“I said, state your business.”

“Ambrose? It’s me, Jeremiah. What has happened around here?”

“You can’t be Jeremiah. Ma received official notice that he and Richard were killed at Gettysburg. So, who are you, really, stranger?”

“Ambrose, would anyone but Jeremiah know how you really got that black eye Ma accused me of giving to you? You wouldn’t tell her the truth that Georgina gave it to you because you were embarrassed, so you let me take on extra chores for a week because of the whole mess.”

Ambrose slowly lowered his weapon. 

“But, you’re dead. How can you be standing here talking to me and knowing things only you would know?”

“I was left for dead. I would have died, but I was found and taken care of by a very nice doctor and his daughter. I was finally been deemed ready to come home.”

“And the horrid stench in the wagon?” Ambrose asked as he walked closer to the wagon to look in the back.

Jeremiah stepped down off the wagon, put his arm around Ambrose’s shoulders and escorted him away from the wagon and the smell.

“That would be Richard. The doctor helped me locate his body and gave me the horse and wagon to bring him home. I see he will join others in our family.”

“Yes. Edward and Theodore defending Vicksburg.”

Jeremiah felt the tears well up and fall before he could stop them.

“So, three brothers all fell within a short amount of time. Oh, Ambrose, it’s almost too horrible to think about.”

“It is, but I think Ma will be overjoyed to know that one of her sons has returned from the grave. Maybe then she’ll smile again.”

“And Pa? Why isn’t there anything growing in the fields? How is everyone eating?”

“Pa is in a bad way, Jeremiah. We can’t work the fields with just the two of us working. Even if we could, we haven’t been able to buy seeds in months and months. We have a small garden, but that’s about all we have to keep us semi-fed.”

“And Abigail? How did she react when news of my death arrived?”

Ambrose started wringing his hands and acting nervous.

“Well, that is quite a story.”

“Who did she convince to marry her when she thought me dead? Or did she convince someone to marry her before word of my demise?”

“I married her, Jeremiah.”

Jeremiah didn’t know whether to cry for his brother or laugh at how her presence in his life had destroyed what he had with Cordelia. He opted to let out a rebel yell and then laugh, making Ambrose look at him like he had lost his mind.

“Now there’s nothing keeping me here. I can return to Gettysburg.”

“Right now? But, you’ve just arrived home.”

“No, I will complete the task given to me and bury Richard at home. I’ll see that Ma and Pa are okay with me leaving before I do, but I have to return to Cordelia before she does something we’ll both regret.”

“What if Ma and Pa are never okay with you leaving?”

“They will just have to be accepting that I have my own life to live and it involves Cordelia Jackson and a trip out west to start our lives together.”

“I think you’re crazy, Jeremiah. With the number of local boys dying in the war, you would have your choice of local girls. Why travel back north just for a woman?”

“Because she is the only girl for me. Cordelia is the only woman I would ever be happy with.”


	25. Chapter 25

“I don’t understand, Jeremiah. You’ve been returned to us from the grave by someone we do owe a huge debt of gratitude, but I don’t see why that means you need to return there. What could Gettysburg possible have that we don’t have here?”

“Ma, Gettysburg holds more for me than home ever has.”

“Is this about Abigail marrying your brother? To be fair, you were dead and he was here and very alive. Don’t hold it against her that we all thought you dead and she should continue on with her life.”

“I don’t care about Abigail, Ma. That’s part of the problem. I am in love with someone else and if her father has anything to say about it, she’s probably going to meet lots of eligible young men in medical school and marry the first one who proposes to her. I can’t let that happen. It will destroy me.”

“And you don’t think you leaving us again won’t destroy your father? His sanity hangs on by a thread, Jeremiah. Losing Edward, Richard, Theodore and you nearly destroyed him. Having you home again has brought him back to us. Granted his lucid moments are short, but they’re coming more and more often now.”

“I feel bad about Pa, but what did you expect to have happen with four of your five sons being old enough to enlist and fight? Did you believe the propaganda that all it would take was one battle and the Yankees would run back north with their tails between their legs and leave us in peace? I never bought into that. I knew we were in this for the long haul.”

“We didn’t have any imaginings that this war would be over in a matter of months, but it was quite a shock to receive word of the deaths of all four of our boys who were fighting. You can’t possibly know what something like that does to a parent.”

“No, I can’t, but you can’t expect me to stay here when there is nothing for me here.”

“Your family is here.”

“The love of my life is there. I love my family, but I cannot live without Cordelia in my life. I’m sorry, Mother, but I need to start making plans to travel back north.”

They ended their argument standing face to face. Millicent Tate threw her hands up in the air in frustration. It was a motion Jeremiah had seen her do on numerous occasions. She often used it to guilt whichever child she was talking to into doing what she wanted them to do. It wasn’t going to work on him, he vowed. She walked away from him to lean on the fireplace mantle. Her shoulders slumped. That wasn’t something Jeremiah had ever seen her do before.

“Ma? What’s wrong?”

“I just don’t know what’s going to happen to us here. I know that other than what’s left of your family is here, there isn’t any reason for you to stay. Frances is living with her husband’s family in Gum Pond. She’s doing fine and Samuel is in the newest hospital in Richmond recovering from his wounds. They are hoping they’ll get to go see him soon. Ambrose and Abigail are happy here. Well, they’re relatively happy at least. Why you two ever let that girl come between you is beyond me.”

“And Georgina?”

“She is living with her husband’s family on the other side of town.”

“Georgina got married? Why am I only hearing about this now?”

“Burying your brother and trying to get your father to rejoin the real world instead of the fantasy world he has escaped to took precedence.”

“Do I have any nieces or nephews I don’t know about?”

“No, there aren’t any nieces or nephews we haven’t told you about. How could there be? Everyone’s spouses have been away fighting the war since days after they got married.”

“That’s not true, Ma.”

Jeremiah and Millicent turned towards the doorway to see Ambrose standing there.

“What are you talking about, Ambrose?”

“Abigail thinks she might be pregnant.”

“Well, I stand corrected. When were you going to tell us?”

“I was going to wait until we were sure, but if the knowledge that there might be a niece or nephew on the way would keep Jeremiah here, I wanted him to know.”

Jeremiah sat down on the nearest chair, hard. He remembered the days after Abigail accepted his proposal and all the fantasies he had about how proud he’d be to find out he was going to be a father. Instead knowing that she wasn’t giving birth to his child made him thankful. 

“Congratulations, Ambrose. As long as the child ends up with your brains, he or she will be ready for this world.”

“Did it work? Will you stay here for at least a little while? I could use your help getting the few seeds we have planted. It would be nice not to starve.”

“Ambrose, I can’t. I just can’t stay. Ma, have you considered taking Pa somewhere to get treated?”

“Frances asks the same thing. She wants us to bring him to Richmond to be seen by someone there who claims to be able to help cure people who have gone into shock with the loss of loved ones during this war. I just don’t see what can be done to help him. Besides, even if we did take him, we can’t afford to pay for his treatment. We’re just going to have to hope he comes out of it on his own. I think you being here will be the best thing for him, Jeremiah.”

“His fate cannot rest on me. Why not call Frances and Georgina home for a while? Maybe he needs all his living children home.”

“I don’t know what will help him. I just pray every day that he’ll return to us soon because we need him here. Life here is hard and it isn’t going to get any easier anytime soon. The only comfort we take is that it’s not just us. Life is hard everywhere.”

“No, Ma. Life isn’t hard everywhere. It’s only hard in these Confederate States of America. Do they have plenty in the north? Maybe not exactly, but they aren’t starving. They are able to put food on the table which is more than we can do, apparently.”

“I take it you ate well while you were there?”

“Ma, eating well doesn’t begin to describe it.”

“How would be even begin to travel north. It just doesn’t sound easy at all.”

“It won’t be easy. Traveling home was easy. I had Richard’s body and so no one bothered me.”

His mother sighed and shook her head.

“It would be easier for you to travel alone. Your father and I trying to go with you would only make things harder for you. It wouldn’t be good if we would have to delay a day or two to search for father after he wandered off in the middle of the night.”

“Is that a real concern for you, Ma? Has he tried to wander away here?”

“Abigail found him outside our bedroom one morning. He was on the floor curled up in a ball and rocking back and forth. It’s not a confidence builder to see your father, the man you thought was so strong and could handle anything slowly losing his mind. It’s a very real possibility if you would try to travel with him. Even making the two day trip to visit Frances would cause me concern.”

“Well, Ma, if you wanted to find a way to guilt me into staying, I think you found it. I can’t leave you all here with father unless he’s able to help out around here again.”

Millicent embraced him and Ambrose joined her. Jeremiah felt like his world was coming to an end. He loved Cordelia, but he couldn’t live with himself if he left his family to starve without hands to help them try to survive.

“Please forgive me, Cordelia. It appears I’m going to be a bit longer before I can return to you.”

“She’ll understand, son. Having you stay away to help your family can only help you.”

“The fact that Abigail married someone else the second she heard I was dead will probably help the most. If I’m not too late.”

“How can you be too late?”

His mother and brother pulled away from him.

“Her father sent her to medical school where she will be in daily contact with upstanding young men from respectable northern families. I really don’t know if I can compete with that.”

“Do you love her, Jeremiah?”

“Of course I do.”

“No, I mean would you walk across the face of the earth and through hell itself to be with her?”

“And back again.”

“Then you can compete with anything those Yankee snobs can use to entice her. Love is a powerful, powerful thing. Don’t let go of it.”

“I don’t know if I can hold on.”

His mother cupped his face in her hands to get her to look her in the face.

“If I can stay with your father while he loses the stuffing in his head because I love that man more than life itself, you can win Cordelia over anything anyone else might offer her.”

He gave her a weak smile. She did have a point.

“I hope you’re right, Mother. I really hope you are right.”

“I am. You’ll see.”


	26. Chapter 26

Lecture attendance became more bearable when Cordelia learned when to speak up against what was being said and when to keep her mouth shut and tell Robert that what the lecturer said was completely wrong. She didn’t know whether to be flattered or worried that their afternoon discussions after class had gone from being just the two of them conversing politely over tea in the sitting room to needing the big table in the dining room to seat everyone who wanted to hear her take on what had been said that was wrong. 

It was after one of these discussions that she sat with Robert by the fire, enjoying the quiet cup of tea that had become their daily tradition.

“I don’t know about this, Robert. What will the lecturers say when all the students are discussing things like I do and contradicting those teaching us, they’ll riot and I’ll get kicked out of school. I can’t have that, Robert. My father would never forgive me.”

“At the first sign someone does that in lecture, we will cancel these sessions with you. Most of these men haven’t seen a real live patient, so you are an anomaly here. They’re anxious to hear your views. If you can help them be good doctors, don’t you want to help them do that?”

“Of course I do, but I just worry about myself. I know me being here isn’t exactly popular among most of the staff, but I can’t help that. I can only do my best and try to keep from being too noticed. At least I managed to hold my tongue in class more.”

“I noticed. I don’t think you should do that. If what we’re being told is completely wrong, we need to know that. It really isn’t fair of you to only share with those willing to come here and, in essence, be lectured by you every day after lecture.”

“Robert, if I didn’t know better, I might think you were trying to get me kicked out of school. Since I know better, I’d like to know what exactly you’re thinking by encouraging me to speak up.”

She set her tea down and waited for him to answer. She knew she had hit the nail on the head when he squirmed in his chair at her thinly veiled accusation. Knowing she wasn’t going to back down, she waited patiently for him to answer her. When he started looking anywhere but at her, she had her answer. 

“That’s what I thought. I’m sorry, Robert. I can no longer spend time with you if you are trying to get me kicked out of school. I have every right to be here.”

“No, Cordelia, you don’t. You’re a woman. You should be at home, minding the house and taking care of the children not galivanting around campus pretending to be a doctor.”

“Pretending? You who have listened to everything I’ve said about my hands on experience and appeared to drink it in? Or was that to make notes of what I’ve been saying that is completely against the grain so you can build a case against me being in school?” He refused to look at her at all. She nodded. “That’s what I thought. Good day, Mr. Hosterman. Please be a dear and do not darken my door again.”

She got up and left him sitting in front of the fireplace, staring at the embers. She managed to remain dignified walking to her room. Once she closed the door, she threw herself across the bed and prepared to have herself a good cry. She laid there, waiting for the tears to fall, only they wouldn’t fall. She knew she felt the need to cry, but concentrating on what a horrid person Robert ended up being wouldn’t allow the tears to fall. Perhaps she had expected his duplicity all along and confirmation of it really didn’t upset her. So, what was bothering her?

Jeremiah. His face popped into her head unexpectedly. He started out pale as he was when her father first set him on the examination table after finding him on the battlefield. It slowly regained some color as he recovered and then the first time he smiled at her after their soup accident had made her heart soar. Next came the look on his face as he confessed to being engaged. It made her heart hurt every time she thought about it, but nothing made her hurt more than how sad he looked when he left that early morning with his brother’s body. She had wanted to say goodbye, to tell him that she really didn’t mean that she never wanted to see him again. She still loved him. She didn’t think she’d ever stop loving him no matter who came into her life. 

A gentle knock on the door took her attention away from thinking about Jeremiah. She smoothed her hair back into place and opened the door a crack. Robert stood on the other side of the door, hat in hand, and looking very pathetic.

“I thought I asked you to never darken my door again.”

“Can we talk, please. I feel I need to explain myself. Once I’ve done that, maybe you’ll forgive me. If you don’t I will understand. I won’t like it, but I will understand. May I come in so we can talk?”

Cordelia noticed that he was looking her in the eye at least. There was no more looking everywhere but at her. At least she felt maybe he was telling the truth. She did hate losing the only friend she had made at college. She sighed, opened the door wider and gestured him inside.

“I’m leaving the door open though. I don’t want anyone thinking there’s something not right going on in here.”

“I would insist on that as well. May I?” he asked, gesturing to two chairs sitting by a small table.

“Of course.”

He sat down and she sat down in the other chair and looked at him, waiting for him to find the words to explain why he would plan on doing something so devious to her. He sighed and started talking.

“You have to understand that as a man, seeing a woman who has more hands on experience with patients, is, well, it’s ego bruising, Cordelia. When your father asked me to come up and introduce myself and make sure you didn’t spend all your time pining for a young man you could never have, I thought that it sounded like an easy enough task and agreed. Then I came up here and you opened the door. I was taken aback at how beautiful you are. My thoughts turned to how fortunate I was to meet you first. I couldn’t wait to rub it in the face of our fellow male classmates that there was only one beautiful woman in our class and she was on my arm.”

“I recall walking to lecture with you, but I don’t believe I was on your arm, Robert.”

He smiled at her.

“It makes me happy to hear you call me Robert again. Officially on my arm or not, you walked into lecture with me and sat by me. Until that first day I thought your father was indulging some fantasy you held about becoming a doctor. I never figured you’d last this long. But, I digress. When you opened your mouth to contradict the lecturer and had examples that you saw and helped treat, I realized that what you said to me over tea that first day was just the most superficial layer of the depth of your knowledge. I got jealous. Most of our classmates are jealous. The only difference is, they hate you. They mock you when you aren’t around. They want you kicked out and humiliated. I just wanted you to be quietly asked to leave for being a disruption.”

“And why confess all this to me? Still trying to appear to have me on your arm so you can gloat to all our classmates that you have the pretty girl still? Or are you maybe trying to convince me to leave on my own to avoid the humiliation everyone else would like to see me experience?”

“I would like the chance to keep my jealousy under control and get back into your good graces. When I watched you walk away from me downstairs, I started thinking about how important your friendship has become to me. I don’t want to lose that over being a jealous lout. I am better than that just as you deserve better than that, much better than that. Can you find it in your heart to forgive me and give me a second chance? I’ll understand if you say no or even if you say you need some time to think about, but I would prefer a yes or the thinking answer.”

He gave her that dazzling smile again. She found Jeremiah’s face which had been so heavily imprinted into her brain get pushed aside a bit. That should have caused concern, but she felt for the first time in her months at school that Robert was finally being up front and honest with her. Was she going to trust him completely again? Eventually, but only after he gave her good reason to trust him completely again.

“I think I’m going to need some time, Robert. It’s a lot to process to find out your fellow students have plotting behind your back to get you kicked out of school.”

“I understand. I bid you a good day, Miss Cordelia. I shall see you at dinner.”

He got up, gave her a small bow and headed for the door. She waited until he was almost to the hallway before she got up and stopped him.

“Wait, Robert.”

“What it is, Cordelia?”

“I’ve thought about it. I forgive you, but only if you promise to keep it under control and let the rest of our classmates know that you won’t tolerate anyone mocking me or plotting to get me kicked out of school.”

He smiled again.

“I think that is something I can promise without hesitation. Will you do me the honor of joining me for dinner this evening?”

“Of course I will. Until then?”

“Until then,” he replied and then reached for her hand to place a light kiss on the back of it before stepping completely out of her room and bounding down the stairs. 

She couldn’t help the smile on her face. She hoped that her life at school would be more tolerable from there on out.


	27. Chapter 27

It was a warm spring day the next time Jeremiah found himself on the streets of Gettysburg. He wanted to go straight to Dr. Jackson and demand to know where Cordelia was staying in Philadelphia, but he knew that approach would never work. Even if Mrs. Taylor would tell him where she was, they would still need Dr. Jackson’s permission to marry unless they wanted to elope and run away from everyone and everything. That thought hadn’t appealed to Cordelia six months prior. He seriously felt that she probably still wouldn’t agree to it. No, his best bet was to find a job, work hard and prove to Dr. Jackson he would not only make his little girl happy, but Jeremiah could take good care of her.

He felt farming wasn’t going to be as respectable a profession, so he opted not to talk to the local farmers about becoming a field hand for them. He didn’t want to go soft and he wasn’t afraid of returning to his roots, but he knew he needed something that would have the potential for advancement. Some place he could maybe start with stocking and behind the scenes work and work up to working in the public eye. But, what kind of work could he do that would let him do exactly that? Walking down the street and the answer hit him. The general store would be the ideal place to work. He could haul heavy loads to waiting wagons before asking to learn how to keep the books. 

He had been good with numbers when he had attended school. He wasn’t sure if he had the brains to do office, work, but it sounded like a decent goal and a job that Dr. Jackson might respect. He entered the general store and said a silent prayer for success.

A week later he was handed an order for him to gather up. He piled everything by the backdoor and waited for a wagon to pull up. When one stopped, he started loading it up with the order. He didn’t bother looking at the driver until the driver spoke to him.

“Laws, child. Is that you Jeremiah or are my old eyes seeing things?”

He stopped with a bag of flour on his shoulder.

“Mrs. Taylor? You are the last person I expected to see here. How is everyone?”

“I’m getting too old to care what I say any more. Dr. Jackson is seeing patients and waiting for Cordelia to finish school to she can come home and help him out. He’s waiting for her husband to come help him.”

At the mention of the word husband, Jeremiah felt his knees buckle. He nearly dropped the bag of flour on the ground. He managed to get it put into the wagon.

“She’s married?”

Mrs. Taylor smiled at him.

“Not yet, she isn’t. She does have a very nice young man she’s been seeing, but he has yet to ask her father permission for her hand. Dr. Jackson is expecting it every day, but he still hasn’t contacted him in any way.”

“In your honest opinion, Mrs. Taylor, do I have a chance of getting Cordelia to change her mind and opinion of me and give me a chance to win her hand?”

“I’m not sure, but I will tell you this, she doesn’t look at him like she looked at you.”

“How do you know that?”

“We went for a visit earlier in the spring. She insisted I be there. He is a handsome young man, but he isn’t you and it shows on her face. I don’t think she loves him, but she’s still hurting from you not trying to contact her since you left.”

“Things south of here are not as well of as things are here. Every time I tried to send her a telegraph to let her know I made it home safe, I was told they were still repairing the lines. Apparently they are easy targets for disrupting communication at home.”

“Why haven’t you sent her one to let her know you are here then?”

“Two good reasons for that. One, I have no idea where she’s living. I didn’t know how to get one to her. Two, I haven’t made enough money to be able to provide for her yet. Mr. Jones has agreed to start letting me learn how to do book keeping and things inside the store. For now, I’m a stock boy. I don’t object to the work, but I know I don’t deserve her right now.”

Mrs. Taylor laughed.

“If you’re too afraid to go after something you deserve, and you do deserve Cordelia, well, then maybe you don’t deserve her. She deserves someone who will fight tooth and nail for her instead of tucking his tail between his legs and running away. Is my order complete?”

Jeremiah looked down at the list in his hands and the contents of the wagon bed.

“Yes, everything is there.”

“Thank you, Jeremiah. Why don’t you come over for dinner tonight?”

“Dr. Jackson would never let me step foot in the house.”

“If you’re my guest, he will have to let you in.”

“I just might do that then. I would to know what all has been happening and share what’s new with me.”

“Very nice. Diner is at six on the dot. Dr. Jackson doesn’t tolerate late meals and off kilter schedules.”

“I will remember that and be on time. Thank you, Mrs. Taylor.”

“You’re welcome, Jeremiah. I’ll see you at six o’clock.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

At six o’clock, on the nose, he found himself knocking on the door he had initially been carried through. He took a deep breath as the doorknob turned. He expected Dr. Jackson to answer the door but was pleasantly surprised when Mrs. Taylor answered it.

“Good evening, Mrs. Taylor. Am I too early?”

“You are right on time. Please come in.”

“Thank you.”

“May I take your hat?”

“Yes, thank you.”

She took his hat with a curtsey and led him to the kitchen where he had spent so much time once he was healed. It brought back a flood of memories about times he spent with Cordelia. He took another deep breath to keep the flood of emotions at bay. 

“Dinner smells wonderful, Mrs. Taylor. Is there a special occasion for something so-oh, Jeremiah. It’s a surprise to see you here. I trust you got your brother’s body home safely.”

“Uh, yes, sir, I did. Thank you.”

“Good. I trust your family is well.”

Jeremiah was taken aback at Dr. Jackson’s flippant conversation. He couldn’t figure out if he was just being polite or if he was purposely being mean about his family.

“No, sir, they aren’t. My parents received word that all four of their sons died in a short period of time. My father has lost his mind with the grief of it all. It was a shock to them when I showed up with Richard’s body.”

“That’s a shame, Jeremiah.”

Jeremiah and Mrs. Taylor just stared at Dr. Jackson. Jeremiah didn’t expect to be welcome with open arms, but he didn’t expect that he would be a cad about what happened to his family.

“And that’s all you have to say?”

“Um, please sit down and eat? What else do you want from me?”

Jeremiah shook his head.

“I’m sorry, Mrs. Taylor. I should have known this was a mistake. I shouldn’t have come over here yet.” Mrs. Taylor handed him his hat. “Although I do have something for you for taking care of me. It’s not near enough yet, but I’m working now. I’ll pay you out of what’s left of my money every month after I pay for my rent at the boarding house and other things.”

Jeremiah threw a couple of bills onto the table in front of Dr. Jackson, who was stuffing his face with what smelled like a perfect roasted chicken, mashed potatoes and all the trimmings.

“Keep it, Jeremiah. You’ll need it for when your fiancee joins you in this grand life you’ve set up for yourself in town.”

“I no longer have a fiancee, Dr. Jackson. Thank you for rubbing that in my face as well.”

“It is not my fault you went home and broke things off with Abigail. You aren’t worthy of Cordelia for doing something so low.”

“I didn’t break things off with Abigail. I didn’t need to break things off with someone who got married shortly after learning of my untimely demise on the battlefield.”

“Now that is a shame, Jeremiah. After all you were completely faithful to her while you were here. You deserve better than that.”

“I give up talking to you right now. I know you don’t think I deserve Cordelia, but I love her and I will always love her, Dr. Jackson. I’m going to be taught how to do book keeping at the store. I know that’s not nearly as impressive as Cordelia being a doctor, but it’s the best job I’ve ever had. Yes, right now I’m working in the store room instead of in the office, but I will work my way up. I can be more than what I am at this very point in time. I wish you would look at me and take me at my word. Cordelia would never starve in my care even if I had to to keep her fed. I would give my life for her. Why are you so against love?”

Dr. Jackson stood up from the table and crossed the room to get into Jeremiah’s face.

“I’m only against love when it will make the lives of those involved in it miserable. I loved Dahlia and would have gladly died in her place, but in the end, my love couldn’t save her. I couldn’t save her from dying. Trust me when I tell you to marry someone you’re only fond of and not so deeply in love with. It will make their passing much easier for you.”

“Marry someone I’m only fond of? What kind of advice is that?”

“It’s sound advice, Jeremiah. Having love in your life isn’t as wonderful as it’s reported to be. It leads to untold heartache. I’m trying to save you and Cordelia from that.”

“And you keeping us apart isn’t causing heartache? Are you listening to your own words? You aren’t making any sense. Perhaps you and my father should share a room in the hospital.”

“Jeremiah, she has been spending time with the son of one of my oldest friends. If she would marry him, it would mend all the rifts between him and me caused by Dahlia.”

“You have some issues, Dr. Jackson. I’m sorry if you don’t want Cordelia and I together, but I won’t give her up so easily.” Jeremiah put his hat on and turned to leave. He turned back. “One more thing, using your daughter, your own flesh and blood, to make amends with a friend is wrong. If your friend was really your friend, he wouldn’t require such a sacrifice from you.”

As he walked to the front door, Jeremiah could hear Mrs. Taylor lecturing Dr. Jackson about changing his mind because Cordelia’s happiness, even if it was meant to only be short lived, should have been more important to him than anything else. Jeremiah silently wished her luck in getting the good doctor to see reason before leaving to head home, such as it was.


	28. Chapter 28

A few days after the failed dinner with Dr. Jackson and Mrs. Taylor, Jeremiah was relaxing in his room at the boarding house, wondering what his next move should be. He wanted to barge into Dr. Jackson’s office and insist that he see reason, but he knew that the more someone is asked to change their way of thinking, the harder they’ll dig their heels in and refuse to budge. He decided to just do his work and learning and go about his life. A frantic knocking on his door brought his thoughts away from Dr. Jackson’s behavior.

He went to the door, made sure her looked reasonably presentable before opening the door.

“Mrs. Taylor. Is everything okay? You look frantic.”

“I am frantic, child. May I sit down? I ran all the way here from my house.”

“Of course.”

He helped her into one of the chairs in his room and sat down at her feet on the foot rest stool that matched the chair. He gave her a few moments to catch her breath.

“What has happened that made you run halfway across town? Is Dr. Jackson well?”

“He’s well, Jeremiah. He’s been in a very good mood since yesterday afternoon which hasn’t been his normal since that dinner with you. I was suspicious, but I didn’t ask him any questions.”

“Probably wise of you.”

“I suppose so, but if I had asked questions, I could have found you yesterday and he wouldn’t be on his way to Philadelphia to give one Mr. Robert Hosterman permission to ask Cordelia to marry him.”

Jeremiah’s heart fell into his feet. It would probably have hurt him less to tell him that she was married already. Knowing that there was time to stop the proposal, but not knowing if he could stop it in time really upset him.

“What can I do with this information, Mrs. Taylor? There’s no way to get there before him since I’m assuming he is already on a train to visit and give his permission.”

“I got you a ticket too. It’s a later time, but I wanted you to have time to pack properly and look respectable when you pay a visit to Cordelia.”

“It’s useless. Cordelia will never agree to see me. She hates me.”

“No, she doesn’t. She loves you. She was just mad at you for keeping something like having a fiancee back home secret from her. Do you love her?”

“I do.”

“Enough that you are willing to die for her as you said the other day?”

“More than you know.”

“Then you have to go to Philadelphia, Jeremiah. Find her, apologize to her and profess your love as you did to Dr. Jackson. If she tells you to leave, at least you’ll know you did all you could to win her back. If you don’t go, you’ll never know if you could have had all the love and happiness you know you could have with Cordelia.”

“I can’t just leave on a whim, right now. What will happen to my job?”

“Get packing and I’ll go talk to Mr. Jones about what you’re doing. He owes me a favor and I won’t complain if I get to use it on you and Cordelia.”

Jeremiah took two seconds to think before jumping up and throwing a few things into a bag. While he was putting things into a bag, Mrs. Taylor got up and headed for the door.

“Here is your ticket. Don’t lose it.”

“No, ma’am. I won’t lose it. How will I find her?”

She handed him a folded up piece of paper with his ticket.

“This is the address of her boarding house. I would recommend you go there first thing. Don’t dilly dally. Just go straight there and ask for her. They might not take you directly to her room, but they’ll get her for you.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Taylor, for everything.”

“I just hope we’re getting you there in time to put a stop to everything.”

Jeremiah then did something he never thought he’d do. He gave Mrs. Taylor the biggest hug he could muster. She gave him a quick hug back before she started giggling like a girl. She was still giggling when she left his room. 

He knew he didn’t have any time to waste. He sat down and put his boots on before checking to make sure he didn’t look like he had thrown himself together at the last minute. Satisfied that he was as decently dressed as he could get, he picked up his bag, the train ticket and the address and left his room. With luck he wouldn’t return there alone.

The train station was relatively quiet. He didn’t know why he expected it to be loud and busy, but it certainly was neither of those things. He sat down to wait for the train. He must have dozed off because he felt shaken when he first heard the train whistle. He made sure he had everything he was supposed to have still with him and got up to wait in the designated area for the train to stop. When it did stop, he handed his bag to the porter before stepping up into the car to find a seat alone. He just hoped the train traveled fast enough to get him to Cordelia before she could make the mistake that would kill him.

 

Alone in her room at last. She had no idea why, but Robert had been insisting that they spend every waking moment together. He was a nice man and she enjoyed that she felt she could trust him again, but not having a free moment to herself was starting to wear on her. She could hear his voice in her sleep. That wasn’t conducive to sleeping well at all.

She had just taken her shoes off to get comfortable when there was a knock on her door. She didn’t mean to do it, but she let out a growl of frustration. She figured to heck with proper. There wasn’t any way she was gong to put those shoes back on her feet.

She swung open the door to yell at Robert but was more than pleasantly surprised to see her father standing there. She threw herself into his open arms.

“Father! What are you doing here? It won’t be time to move me back home for the summer for another couple of weeks.”

“I’ve been missing you so much I decided to make a special trip to visit you. Are you unhappy to see me?”

“Not at all, Father. I’m very glad to see you.”

“Then what was the throwing the door open for?”

“Robert. He’s insisting that we spend every waking moment together and it’s starting to get on my last nerve.”

“If you would marry him, you realize you would have to spend a lot of time with him.”

“I realize that, but seeing as how he hasn’t proposed and if he did I’m not sure I’d accept, that doesn’t really matter.”

She watched her father’s face fall. That happening during a talk about marrying Robert told her what he was doing in Philadelphia; he was there to give Robert permission to propose. Suddenly she couldn’t breathe. He helped her to a chair and poured a glass of water from the pitcher on her bedside table.

“Are you unwell, Cordelia?”

“I have just found out that someone incredibly handsome but slightly annoying plans to propose to me has made me feel a bit unwell.”

“Why? Robert is a fine young man from a very nice family. You would be crazy to say no to him.”

She narrowed her eyes at her father.

“If you like him that much you marry him.”

“What’s wrong with him?”

“He has this crazy idea that despite supporting my right to attend medical school, I should never be in practice. I’m supposed to be at home keeping house and minding the children while he does what I’d much rather be doing. It’s not fair.”

“Life isn’t fair, Delia. You could do worse, much, much worse, than Robert Hosterman. Will you at least consider his proposal? Unless there is someone else you were hoping would propose first.”

There was someone she had held out hope would show up out of the blue and propose to her. Since she hadn’t heard from Jeremiah since he left, she knew that would never become a reality. She didn’t have a choice or really any other options besides Robert. He had made sure that none of the other men in their class could even entertain the idea of courting Cordelia. She felt like his possession not a potential fiancee.

“I will give it some serious thought, Father, but I make no promises. I have to follow my heart.”

“Let’s hope your heart is smarter than your head over things of love.”

She bristled at the suggestion but decided to brush it off to make his time with her more pleasant.

“Where are you staying tonight, Father?”

“I’ve already checked. There is a room available here for a few nights. It’s not a hotel, but since you’re living here, they’re going to consider it an extra room for you tonight.”

“That’s nice that you’ll be so close. So, when are you supposed to talk to Robert so he can propose? I’m not sure I’m going to handle the proposal well, but I will be on my best behavior.”

“I am to have breakfast with him tomorrow, if that’s okay with you.”

“It’s fine by me. I can eat alone. So, if you’re having breakfast with him, do you feel it’s safe to assume he could propose as early as dinner?”

“Yes, I suppose that is possible. Why?”

“I just want to be mentally prepared for giving him an I’ll need to think about it answer.”

“That’s better than outright saying no. Although I do hope you will eventually consent to become his wife. You would have a good life.”

“I know, Father, but I don’t love him, not even a little bit. He’s teetering very close to full on repulsion. I’m not sure I could spend the rest of my life with him without putting something horrible in his food one night when I just couldn’t take the pressure anymore.”

Her father stared at her wide-eyed.

“You would really go that far?”

“If I felt pressured to marry him instead going with my own feelings? Yes, I can say with confidence, that might ultimately be his fate.”

“Perhaps I should consider telling him no so I don’t fear for his safety.”

“You’ll say yes and hope I will do the same. Right now, I’m tired. It’s exhausting being around him so much. I think I need some sleep.”

“I need to find my room again. This place is a maze.”

“That it is.”

“Goodnight, Cordelia.”

“Goodnight, Father.”

As she closed the door behind her father leaving her room, she very nearly collapsed in a heap. She managed to make it to her bed, pull her dress off and slip the nightgown over her head before falling into a deep sleep.


	29. Chapter 29

Jeremiah attempted to sleep on the train. It should have lulled him to sleep, but he couldn’t keep the thought of Cordelia marrying someone else out of his head. Every time he saw her in her wedding dress standing next to someone else, he was shocked awake. 

By the time he stepped off the train, it was late and he was very tired. He knew it would be too late to go find Cordelia right then. He thought it would be best if he found some place to sleep for the night. 

He was thankful that the main road of the city wasn’t too far from the train station. He walked along and managed to find a hotel that wasn’t too expensive but looked clean enough. He settled into bed and tried to go to sleep as he had done on the train. Even in a comfortable bed, he still couldn’t get the thought of someone else getting to spend the rest of his life with Cordelia out of his head.

After an hour of tossing and turning, he found a book someone had left in the bedside table. Seeing nothing else to occupy his time, he started reading. It wasn’t very interesting plot wise, but it did do something he hadn’t been able to do himself; it made his eyelids so heavy he couldn’t keep them open any longer if he tried. He put the book down, got settled into bed and finally fell asleep.

As soon as the beginning of the nightmare started, he wanted to wake up; he needed to wake up. He couldn’t wake up. Richard was next to him and it didn’t take long before the rest of his regiment was converging on him, suffocating him. 

When he finally woke up, he had done more than just wrapped the sheets around his arms and legs. This time he had also managed to wrap the sheet around his head and body. Once he managed to stop panicking and calm down, he slowly freed his hands, followed by his head and neck before he started working on his legs. Once freed, he sat up and wondered what time it was. 

He hadn’t sleep near enough, but he didn’t want to risk the nightmare again. It didn’t bother him at all during his trip home with Richard’s body or while he was at home. He thought it strange that it didn’t return until he was back in the north. Either that or his mind knew Cordelia was close and the nightmare was a way to get her close to him. 

Deciding that he didn’t want to go back to sleep even if he was exhausted, he got up and packed his bag, not knowing if he would have to stay in Philadelphia for another night. The ticket Mrs. Taylor bought for him had an open return trip. He threw his satchel over his shoulder and left his room. 

After turning in his key, he took to wandering the streets. He knew wandering alone at night probably wasn’t the smartest thing he ever did, but it gave the city a surreal feeling that he rather liked. He didn’t have a destination in mind when he left his room, but he found himself amongst several boarding houses. He looked at the address of Cordelia’s boarding house. Once he found it, he sat down on a bench outside and waited. What he was waiting for he had no idea, but he waited anyway. 

Once the sun came up, he hoped his waiting was at an end. It didn’t take long after the sun came up for activity to start along the street. There were vendors and people going about their business. Once he noticed movement inside the boarding house, he decided to take his chance and go inside.

He had just walked through the door when he saw Dr. Jackson coming downstairs with a young man that he assumed to be the one Mrs. Taylor told him about. He stepped into a small side room just off the entrance to avoid being seen by them.

“Jeremiah?”

He froze. He knew that voice. He slowly turned to be greeted by the sight of Cordelia. 

“What are you doing in here, Cordelia?”

“I could ask the same of you. What are you doing here?”

Jeremiah felt like an idiot for standing four feet away from her and not once did he make a motion to move to her. He wanted to take her in his arms in the worst way, but the look on her face told him that she was still mad at him.

“Please don’t marry someone else. I’m afraid to lose you again.”

“How did you know about someone else?”

“Mrs. Taylor told me. She even bought my ticket here.”

“Why would she do that? Robert wouldn’t be a completely horrible choice for a husband.”

“Cordelia.” He finally made his legs move to cover the few feet between them to pull her into his arms. She didn’t put up a fight and let him kiss her until she pushed him away.

“No. You leave and don’t even bother sending me a telegram letting me know you’re still alive and then you show up here and I’m just supposed to welcome you with open arms?”

“I didn’t exactly expect open arms, but I saw you watch me leave, Cordelia. It broke my heart to leave without getting to say a proper goodbye, but I had no other choice. As for sending a telegram, with the fighting going on around home, the wires were cut nearly as soon as they’d get repaired again. I tried every day to send you just such a telegram. It was made physically impossible for me to do so.”

She lowered her eyes and blushed. Jeremiah felt like his heart was going to jump out of his chest.

“What are you doing in here? I just saw your father with a young man walking into the dining room.”

“I was trying to spy on them to see if I could hear any of their conversation. Robert is so sure my father will say yes and then that I’ll give him a yes.”

“Do you want to say yes to a proposal from him?”

“I don’t know, Jeremiah. Last night I told my father that I didn’t think I could marry him. Then the more I thought about it, the more it made sense to marry him since I hadn’t heard from you. I prayed for some sort of sign to show me what I should do since I’m so confused. And then you run into my hiding place while I’m trying to hear what they’re saying.”

“Have I just made things harder for you? Cordelia, I love you all my heart and soul, but I don’t want anything more than for you to be happy. That is all that matters to me.”

“What about Abigail?”

“As soon as my parents received word that I had been killed in battle, she married my baby brother Ambrose. I wasn’t the first in our small town to be falsely reported as dead only to turn up alive. I don’t know why she was in such a hurry to marry him, but she did. I wish them all the happiness they can find too.”

Jeremiah watched Cordelia processing all the information he had just given her. Obviously he wanted her to pick him without any question in her mind, but if she needed some time, he was going to give it to her, no questions asked.

“Jeremiah, would you mind taking me for a stroll outside. I think I could use some sunlight and fresh air.”

“Certainly.”

He offered her his arm and she took it. They left out the front door without anyone paying them much attention.

 

As they walked down the street, Cordelia’s mind was reeling. Just when she had prayed for guidance on what to do about Robert, Jeremiah walked back into her life. Yes, she was mad at him. It hurt beyond words to have him leave and not hear anything from him, but it sounded like he really didn’t have much to do with that issue. If the telegraph lines were down, there was no getting messages out. The fact that Mrs. Taylor was still helping them helped her see that she still did in her heart love Jeremiah. They started walking, greeting people as they walked.

“So, where have you been that Mrs. Taylor was able to find you and get a train ticket to you?”

“I’ve been in Gettysburg, working to prove myself to your father that though I might not be a doctor, I am hard working and just as worthy of your love as any other man.”

“What have you been doing?”

“I’ve been loading customers’ wagons with their goods while learning more about book keeping and running a business.”

“Really? That’s impressive, Jeremiah. Mr. Jones doesn’t take on just anyone to work for him. He’s very particular about his employees.”

“I think it helps that Mr. Jones has family down my way, so we have common friends back home.”

“I do supposed that would help, but still, he wouldn’t keep you on if you weren’t doing the work well.”

“I haven’t had a complaint yet.”

“That’s good.”

They walked on in silence while Cordelia’s heart and mind, for the first time in a very long time, wanted to do nothing more than sing so loud they could hear her in Washington DC. She knew it sounded crazy, and she knew that she should still be mad at him, but there was just something about the happiness she felt knowing that he was working his hardest to prove himself to her father.

“Jeremiah, you know Father will never let us marry and live happily ever after.”

“Yes, I know. He told me a few days ago to marry someone I’m only fond of so that they don’t break my heart when something happens to them.”

“That sounds like him. Why is he doing everything in his power to make the two of us miserable?”

“He lost your mother so soon after they were married and he never remarried. He has been sad and miserable and won’t be happy until those around him are the same.”

Cordelia stopped to look at him. He flinched. She couldn’t help feeling like she had just been shown the truth.

“That’s it, Jeremiah. Why else would he do everything in his power to make sure I didn’t marry someone I truly loved, why he worked so hard to keep us apart. I can’t believe I didn’t see it earlier. Come on. We have someone we need to confront, together.”

“Cordelia, you can’t be serious. He will order us apart and that will be the end of it all.”

“No, it won’t. I won’t let him end it all. You and I are together and nothing will change that, ever.”

“Will you marry me?”

She smiled at him, hoping it conveyed how happy she felt.

“Gladly, Mr. Jeremiah Tate.”

He picked her up and spun her around all while his lips were pressed firmly to hers. Cordelia hadn’t been that happy ever in her life.


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next to the last chapter! I might take a break from posting things after this one is done. I'm terrible at remembering to post and I'm not sure what else I have that is fit for human eyes currently. Enjoy! :-)

The closer they got to the boarding house, the more nervous Cordelia became. She knew that telling her father she was going to be with the man she loved no matter what and telling Robert she just couldn’t marry him weren’t going to be easy at all to do. Not easy, but they were something she needed to do. By the time Jeremiah’s hand was on the door, she thought she was going to throw up. It wasn’t a feeling she liked at all.

“Cordelia? Are you feeling well?”

She sighed.

“No, I’m not. I really don’t want to do this so much that I think I’m going to be sick. I can’t do this, Jeremiah.”

“Yes, you can and you will. I won’t abandon you. I’ll be by your side the entire time. If I need to do so, I’ll step in and help. We have to do this, Cordelia. If we don’t, we will have to move away now, today, and you’ll never see your father again. I know you don’t want that. I know I don’t truly want that. So, we have to do this.”

She took his hand and held it tight before taking a deep breath.

“Here we go.”

“Here we go.”

Jeremiah opened the door and let Cordelia walk through first. She thought that they would be able to sit down and enjoy a little breakfast before finding her father to talk to him. Luck was not with them as they nearly ran right into them as they walked through the front door.

“Jeremiah,” her father stated through clenched teeth.

Cordelia didn’t know what she could do to stop her father from hurting Jeremiah, but she still put herself between the two of them. She felt him place his hands on her waist. A possessive move, but not one she minded in the least. She did hate the look of confusion on Robert’s face.

“Cordelia? Who is this man?”

“He’s someone who is leaving, now.”

“Father, if you lay a finger on him, we will both disappear out that door and you will never see us again. I know you don’t want that, but I will do it to protect us.”

“Cordelia?” Robert asked again.

“Robert, I’m sorry. I haven’t been completely honest with you over my feelings.”

“You don’t love me. I’ve been able to see it on your face every time we’re together, but your father assured me that you would learn to love me. I know now that you will never look at me like you’re looking at Jeremiah.”

“My father assured you? Did he promise you something if you made me forget about Jeremiah?”

“Cordelia, now really isn’t the time or place to go into what I said or promised to anyone.”

“Isn’t it, Father? Why do you hate happy people? What is it about Jeremiah and I being together and being happy together that bothers you so much?”

Robert turned his attention towards her father, Cordelia noticed. She assumed Jeremiah was looking at him too. That probably explained why her father looked so uncomfortable.

“You have to understand how fleeting happiness is, Cordelia. It isn’t something that’s going to last nearly as long as you think it will. Being satisfied with your life is more rewarding, more fulfilling. Happiness doesn’t last forever and the sooner you understand that, the better off you’ll be in life.”

“Father, I would rather have a few moments of happiness in my life over never feeling happy with what’s going on in my life. You cannot stop Jeremiah and I from being happy. I want you to know that.”

“Cordelia, be reasonable. Robert is the better choice for you.”

“Robert is a fine man, but he is not the man for me. He needs to be free to find his own love.”

Robert walked to Cordelia and took her right hand in both of his. 

“I do hope we part as friends, at least. I would consider it an honor to be invited to the wedding.”

He kissed the back of her hand, making Cordelia smile. Robert wasn’t a horrible man, by any means. He just wasn’t the man for her.

“And we would consider it an honor if you would be there for it.”

Robert extended his hand to Jeremiah, who took it and gave him a hardy handshake.

“Yes, we would consider it an honor if you’d be at our wedding.”

As soon as Jeremiah let go of Robert’s hand, Cordelia threw her arms around Robert’s neck.

“Thank you for understanding.”

He wrapped his arms around her waist to return the hug.

“More than you know, Cordelia.”

He released her and stepped away from the group. He looked around the boarding house.

“You know where to send the invitation.”

He them one of his blinding smiles before traipsing up the stairs whistling a happy tune, Cordelia thought.

“There isn’t going to be a wedding. This union will never happen.”

“I’m sorry you feel that way, Father. Come, Jeremiah. I’m sure we won’t have a problem finding someone to marry us today.”

Determined to show her father that she was going to do as she pleased, with or without his consent, she took Jeremiah’s arm and turned to leave the boarding house. Only, Jeremiah held back. Confused, Cordelia stopped and waited for whatever he was going to say or do.

“Dr. Jackson, I don’t want us to run off and elope without your consent or blessing. I wish you could see how much you’re hurting your daughter over this. I know the loss of your wife was difficult for you. I can’t imagine it’s easy on anyone. But, wasn’t the time you had together, the time that was truly happy, worth everything else? Even if you don’t think it was, it will be for us. Yes, life is unpredictable, that’s part of living. However, Cordelia and I have elected to enjoy happiness while we have it. Yes, we hope it lasts forever, but if it doesn’t, that’s just fine with us. If you let us walk through that door, you will probably never see us again. I hope that thought scares the hell out of you because I know it would me. If it doesn’t, you aren’t human. Good day, Dr. Jackson.”

Having said his piece, Jeremiah turned back to Cordelia and gave her an encouraging smile, Cordelia thought that’s what it was supposed to be at least. She couldn’t stop herself. She threw her arms around his neck and gave him a kiss, a kiss she didn’t hold back on at all. Any other woman who considered herself a lady would not be caught dead kissing any man in public like that, but she didn’t care. She wanted her father to see her happy with Jeremiah before she left him permanently. Jeremiah pulled himself away.

“Not here.”

“He needs to see us happy.”

“No, it’s time for us to go, love.”

Cordelia nodded her understanding and turned again to leave. She thought they were going to get away without her father stopping them again, but he did.

“Don’t leave like this, please.”

“Father, this is happening. We will leave.”

“No, please don’t leave me. I don’t want to lose you as I lost your mother. I will consent and bless your union if only you won’t leave me.”

Cordelia ran across the short distance between them to throw her arms around her father. 

“We won’t leave you, Father. We’ll stay in Gettysburg if you will consent and bless our marriage.”

“I do, gladly.”

By then the tears were falling freely from both Cordelia’s and her father’s eyes. Her father motioned for Jeremiah to join them. He too was crying. When they finally stopped their hugging, they noticed that they were drawing the attention of a great number of people who were getting their days started.

“Perhaps we should finish this discussion in private.”

“Actually, I have lectures to attend to today. School goes on, I guess.”

“Well, you go to lecture and we will keep ourselves occupied, possibly with wedding stuff,” Jeremiah stated with a wink.

“My father and my fiancee making the plans for my wedding. Why does that not sound like a good idea?”

“If you are going to be a doctor and working, it is probably best if I learn how to handle the things that you normally would at home. I can start with wedding decisions.”

Cordelia laughed before kissing her father and then Jeremiah on the cheeks.

“I get final say on things. Enjoy your day.”

She left, hoping that they would play nicely together and not do anything too outrageous in regards to wedding plans.


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter. Yes, the ending is a bit cheesy, but by this time in my writing I'm usually wanting to just get it written and done with so I can work on something else. That's more or less my attitude for all of November and NaNoWriMo. Thank you to all my lovelies who followed Cordelia and Jeremiah on this trip!! I appreciate each and every one of you!!!

“Laws, child, you should already have that dress on and your hair done. What have you been doing up here?”

“Not what I should have doing, it appears.”

“Is there something wrong? Think you might be making a mistake?”

“Not at all. Well, other than letting my father pick out my dress. I’m not sure I want to see what is under that sheet, Mrs. Taylor. What if I hate it?”

“Does it really matter if you hate the dress? You are marrying the man you love. You are going to start your practice in conjunction with your father until he retires. Your life is exactly how you’ve always wanted it to be. What else is there to be afraid of, Cordelia?”

Cordelia sighed. 

“Nothing. Is it possible to be too happy?”

Mrs. Taylor laughed, a hardy belly laugh.

“Child, there is no such thing as too happy. If you’re so happy that you feel like you’re going to burst from it, that’s a good thing. Don’t let it scare you.”

“I’ll try not to let it scare then. Can you help me get ready?”

“Of course.”

Cordelia stepped out of her robe and held her breath as Mrs. Taylor removed the sheet from her dress. She couldn’t hold back the gasp of surprise at the first viewing of it.

“My father picked this out for me? I’ve never seen this much silk together. How did he afford such a thing?”

“He knows how to apologize in a big way, doesn’t he, child?”

“Apparently he does. Oh my goodness! It’s too much and too rich. I don’t think I can actually put it on now that I’ve seen it.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. Now, put your arms up and help me help you put this on.”

Cordelia did exactly as asked and in no time, she was completely buttoned into her wedding dress.

“I don’t think there is anything we can do with my hair that will complement this dress.”

“You leave it to me, Delia. I’ll have you looking like a princess from head to toe when we’re done with you.”

 

Jeremiah’s nerves were trying to get the best of him while standing at the alter waiting for Cordelia to walk up the aisle on her father’s arm. He couldn’t believe their wedding day had finally arrived. He looked over the church. There weren’t a lot people to see them get married, but he didn’t care. His boss and his family was there. Robert received his invitation and arrived with a date. The rest of the people he didn’t know, but based on their attire, they were Union soldiers Cordelia had helped treat after the battle and were recuperating at the brand new hospital in town. The sea of blue should have set him on edge, but he didn’t have time to worry about it as his nerves still worried that Dr. Jackson would change his mind at the last minute. 

The pianist started playing the wedding march, bringing everyone to their feet and him to attention. His first look at Cordelia in her wedding dress nearly took his breath away. He always knew he was marrying someone who was too beautiful to be in love with a lout like him, but that just cemented it into his head. He only hoped he could do right by her. He’d work every day of the rest of his life to deserve her.

The ceremony went by like a surreal dream. He repeated the words he was asked to repeat and placed the gold band on Cordelia’s finger at the appropriate time. Before he knew it, he was kissing the bride to applause from those gathered to attend their wedding. The turned and walked down the aisle as husband and wife.

Outside the church there was a white carriage waiting to take them to the reception being held in the backyard of Dr. Jackson’s house. They waited to greet their guests. 

“Your father did a very good job picking out your dress. You look positively radiant.”

“And you look very regal in your new suit. At least you’ll be able to wear yours again. I don’t know anything appropriate to wear this again.”

“You’ll find something to do with it. I know you will.”

Robert and his date were the first to arrive. He greeted Cordelia with a light kiss to her cheek before giving Jeremiah a hardy handshake. 

“Congratulations, you two. I thought that there wouldn’t be a wedding invitation with your father not giving in on forbidding you to get married.”

“We did too. Robert, aren’t you going to introduce us to your guest?” Cordelia questioned.

“I’m sorry. Where are my manners? Jeremiah, Cordelia, may I introduce my fiancee Lavinia Matthews. Lavinia, Mr. And Mrs. Tate.”

“It’s a great pleasure to meet the both of you. Thank you for inspiring my Robert to defy convention and propose to me.”

“How did we inspire you?”

“Well, when you and Jeremiah informed your father that you would be happy with or without his consent and blessing, you inspired Robert to tell his father the same thing. I was quite surprised when he appeared on my doorstep with a proposal for me. Thank you both for sharing your courage with him.”

“We are very happy to have helped.”

Jeremiah placed a light kiss on Lavinia’s cheek before she took Robert’s arm and found a place for them to sit.

Soon the names of guests were running together until such time that they had greeted everyone and were finally allowed to take their seats. As soon as they sat down, Mrs. Taylor and Dr. Jackson served everyone a plate of Mrs. Taylor’s famous baked chicken with all the trimmings. 

As soon as dinner was devoured, it was time for Jeremiah and Cordelia to cut their beautiful cake Mrs. Taylor had insisted she bake for them. Jeremiah dutifully served up cake for their guests and Cordelia before sitting down to enjoy his own piece of cake.

Once everyone had eaten their fill, they left in dribs and drabs, leaving Mrs, Taylor, Dr. Jackson, Jeremiah and Cordelia to clean up. Jeremiah started gathering up dishes when Mrs. Taylor stopped him.

“Now, Mr. Tate, you and Mrs. Tate do not need to be cleaning up these dishes. The two of you just get back into that carriage and head off to your honeymoon.”

“But-“

“Just you get. Now.”

Jeremiah dutifully set down the plates he had gathered up before gathering Cordelia into his arms and carrying her out to the carriage.

As they rode towards the hotel for their first night together before taking a train in the morning to New York City, Cordelia yawned and leaned on Jeremiah’s shoulder.

“I never knew getting married would be so exhausting.”

“I didn’t realize it would be either, but it’s been well worth it.”

“Very well worth it, love. I can’t wait to return from our honeymoon to start our life together, Mrs. Tate.”

“That is something I am looking forward to as well, Mr. Tate.”

For once Jeremiah didn’t care if anyone was watching. He cupped Cordelia’s face in his hands and claimed her lips. No one gave them a second look when they arrived at the hotel they were going to spend their first night as husband and wife. Yes indeed, he was looking forward to their life together.


End file.
